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I'm so sorry and considering there were 3 photographers that is just SO bizzare!
I had some dissapointment with my professional photos too. Very, very few pics of guests, some moments missed (me/ maid of honor walking down the aisle- ouch) BUT the moments that were captured are beautiful and artistic. After a few weeks I was able to appreciate what I did have and the "missing" moments weren't such a big deal.
I did get some of those missing shots from the guests... so be sure to ask if anyone has pictures.
Sorry to hear this. Focus on the great quality of the shots you got, and hit up friends and family for their candids.
I would ask him...maybe he does have some but felt they weren't as good quality as the others, and so didn't post them.
((Hugs)) Sadly this is one of the things that needs to come out in a meeting with your photographer. Explaining how important detail shots of diy, cocktail hour, and photographing guests may be very obvious to all of us but really needs to be spelled out. I'm sorry (hugs), I'm sure your pictures are beautiful.
Agree with @jjmomma. The few guest pics our photographer took were unposed & totally unflattering - people's mouths open mid-conversation kind of thing. Luckily our friends brought cameras and were able to give us some of their pics.
Thanks everyone for the advice and hugs. I'm going to double check with him in a couple days just in case he or any of the other photograpers missed posting anything on their end.
It just sucks because he posted about 20 photos on Facebook right after wedding that are really really awesome, and as a result, I've had a couple of blogs approach me about featuring our wedding. So I'm bummed that some of those details I mentioned (which I think made our wedding unique) are lost.
Also depends on your crowd too, I like to get table shots, but this private party I covered a few weeks ago had a very blah crowd. Every guest I went to take a picture of put their hands up and was like "no thanks."
@USER876: I've had similiar experiences. Last wedding I shot, the MOB was so camera shy, she literally avoided me at all costs, it was weird. I actually think she didn't give a toast because she knew she'd be photographed. So. weird.
@mittens111211: So sad too. People don't realize these events are the highlights of life. Why not have your picture taken with your son/ daughter? You never know how short life may be.
@Jaxx317: I'm so sorry! With 3 photographers there's really no excuse for that. It sounds like what you wanted was someone with a photojournalistic perspective but hired a portrait heavy photographer. I disagree with a PP that it's something that needs to spelled out for the photographers. With THREE shooters there, there is no excuse for not getting detail/guests shots. My advice is to contact the photographer and bring this up with them and get an explanation for the missing cocktail hour and the fact that there aren't many guest photos.
Sorry..that sucks. At least the shots you did get were reat. Why dont you contact some of your guests, im sure they took pics of the other guests and cocktail area. They wont be pro quality, but at least you will have them
I had a similar experience. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do. I had friends provide me with some pictures; and actually re-created some of the details (or found leftover ones) and took my own pictures of them. Not quite the same, but it's something!
@Jaxx317:Aw I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, but at least the ones you have are beautiful! And it sounds like you had an amazing wedding, so that's great! And for what it's worth, your negative experience has helped me because I will definitely be very specific with my photographer now...
But now onto how you can deal with it.
1) Talk to your photographer. Convey your disappointment (nicely because it's not like he can go back and fix it) and see if he has any other pictures on file.
2. Talk to your guests... I'm sure someone has pics from your wedding
3. Frame what's left of the beautiful photos you do have and move on.
Good luck!
i think a lot of brides feel this way when they get their photos back. i most certainly did - for slightly different "missing photos" than guest shots, but i still felt some disappointment nonetheless that within my 1000 + shots, i didn't more fun ones for example of me and my BMs (none on the beach for example and my wedding was on the beach!). Anyway, it took me some time and the more i looked at the photos, the more i kept noticing all the amazing ones i DO have. with all those photos being looked at once, you may not notice some of the real candid's until later. i still find some now that i am like "wow, thats hilarious" or "i forgot about that". And i didn't notice them on the first day i saw the thumbnails online because they just blended in with all the others. also, it took me getting photos back from all my guests and i ultimately got the majority of the details i felt i was missing, just having those one or two pics extra from the guests made me feel a lot better.
it is weird that you dont have any cocktail photos, but at the end of the day, if you can get a couple from your guests, they will be cherished momentos. even if not professional, when you look back at them in years, you will have the memories in pictures. so hopefully some of your guests took a couple of photos.
and i just can't emphasize enough that over time, you will care less and the disappointment will fade and you will be much happier with your photos, it just takes time. i had brides tell me the same thing when i got my photos back as i wrote on here about being disappointed, and now i finally believe them!.
I remember the first time I saw some of my wedding pictures, I was sad that some of them didn't make it. Especially around my photobooth area etc. But I had given my photographer a list of the details I took time to do and I wanted her to take pictures of those. I didn't get pictures of the cocktail hour as such but I am not too worried. It's not like they are going to make it into my album :) But I do agree that the more I look at the pictures, the more I love them. I do wish I had more time to take individual pictures with my siblings but it's okay.
As a photographer myself, the best advice to any bride is that things will be missed.
At every single wedding, yes, if you look hard enough, things will be missed.
Someone posted they had 2500 photos and still thought things were missed.
At my own wedding, if I looked more carefully, I'm sure things were missed.
Sometimes, a bride will complain there are not enough guest photos. Other times, she will say that there are not enough detail shots and TOO many guest photos, for example.
Many photographers are shooting what they know you will want in a year, five years, or ten years. I won't be framing a photo of Aunt Milly and my friend from kindergarten trying to eat a mini quiche while holding beer bottles. I will be framing an amazing shot of me and my husband.
Those sometimes-requested table shots? My brides tell me they never do anything with them.
I'm of the opinion that, if the guests are in the background of some photos, are in a few dancing shots, the receiving line, etc, then that's enough for most brides.
We focus on the family and bridal party because they are the most important to the bride and groom. They're the *most* likely to still be in the bride's life in 5-10 years, whereas your college roommate moved out of state and you don't talk to her anymore, and your boss in photo #1511 isn't your boss anymore, it did not end well. :)
Obviously, misses of BIG BIG things are bad. Bride and groom portraits, the kiss shot, ceremony shots, first dance, a portrait of each one of you, and family shots are the things that keep me up at night constantly worried, things that keep me on my toes.
But a shot of guests eating and drinking is not something people want.
To answer your question: do most photographers completely ignore wedding guests?
My answer would be: Guests do not play a huge role in wedding photography unless directly involved with the bride and groom (a kiss, a hug) or doing something photographically amazing that makes me want to capture it (the worm on the dance floor). Other than that, they are often atmosphere and background to images of the couple.
@kwynn: i noticed that too in my wedding photos. i had a small wedding with 17 people, so i had no worries about getting pics of everyone in attendance. but i did notice that in almost ALL the reception photos - dancing, drinking - i was in most of them as well! i almost feel like i have too many photos of myself! i understood though that my photog was likely doing that for my own sake. and i did get a few candids of the guests without me, which i will likely put in an album. my only fear is that when showing people my pictures is that i come off "narcissitic" because every photo has me in it! but then i remember i was the bride AND i clearly was not the one taking those photos, so its not like i intended to be in so many of them, lol.
@Jaxx317: i just thought of a potential reason why your photogs didn't get cocktail hour - my photog told me at dinner she won't take pics of people eating, she said they don't make for nice photos. i said i was fine, plus i wanted her to sit down and enjpy her meal too! so maybe your photogs didn't focus on cocktail hour because people would be just standing around eating and drinking and there was bride and groom present?
Seriously, thank you all for your thoughts, especially the pro photographers that weighed in (@kwynn - super enlightening perspective - thank you! that helps). It makes me feel a little bit better. My sadness in there being so few photos of my guests is that literally 80% of our guests were relatives or very very close friends who we've known for the entire time we've been together at minimum, if not much longer. The reason we had a full-on wedding in the first place was because of the fact that we were able to get so many people we love together at one time in one place, which, for many people who there, will never happen again. Otherwise, we probably would have done the city hall thing (or done something WAYYY smaller) and been done with it! So having no record of that kinda breaks my heart.
@purpleunicorn - that is exactly how I feel! after spending 2 hours looking through our photos, my first thought was: do we really need 1300 photos of ourselves?? as for shots with us interacting with our guests, we were definitely floating around the whole venue practically talking to people during the last 1/2 of cocktail hour, and we visited every single table together to greet people during dinner. we didn't do a lot of the traditional stuff like parent dances or the boquet/garter toss, so there weren't even that many opportunites to get guests in the background of other stuff going on (which our photographers knew beforehand). but they were so great at being everywhere and nowhere, I presumed they would be floating about taking inconspicuous shots of stuff.
I know I should have thought a little more carefully about my shot list in terms of making sure the photographer got some of the details, particularly the DIY stuff, so I hope other brides-to-be take that piece of advice! Sadly, though, because I purposefully made things that could be recycled, I don't even know if I could recreate any of it :(
I will certainly put out an all-call to all of our guests to try to solicit more photos. I care more about having things captured than quality anyway!
I called my photographer and mentioned the "missing shots", and she actually had taken them, but wasn't as pleased with the quality, so she didn't include them. She immediately sent them to me and I was happy with them. It's worth mentioning!
@kwynn: Very Well said! +1 to all of it!
If I had to add something, it's that there are several good reasons why as the bride you may not have any cocktail hour photos.
1.) Usually B&G, family formal and/or bridal party shots are taken during the cocktail hour. Photographers work as a team, and do not split up to have one photograph a completely different event of the day, unless perhaps a special request was made for cocktail hour photos. Of course you'd have to be prepared to then receive fewer B&G photos.
2.) If you didnt use the cocktail hour for these photos, the cocktail hour is used by photographers to capture the reception details and set up for the reception.
3.) Especially if your photographer uses off-camera lighting, it takes time to set up portable lighting, AND take detail photos of the hall before all the guests are allowed in and mess everything up. This is typically done during the cocktail hour, or whatever little is left of it when you get back from family photo time.
@PurpleUnicorn: With regard to the OP and you having "too many pictures of you," and not enough of the other guests, I find that mindset to be the exception, not the rule. I have created a lot of wedding albums, and while I try to design using awesome candid photos I took of guests, they almost ALWAYS get taken out and replaced with ANOTHER shot of the bride and/or groom within the first round of changes. This just usually isn't a priority for most brides, so to all other bees, be sure to tell your photogs if it is a priority to you. I have my brides make a list of all the important people they would like to receive special photographic attention at a wedding, and I've never had anyone on that list except immediate family, bridesmaids and groomsmen. Bear in mind that if you tell your photographer to prioritize guests more, you WILL receive fewer shots of yourselves... we only deliver XXX number of images either way, so it's just math that that will happen, but a good observation for this thread.
@kwynn: Many photographers are shooting what they know you will want in a year, five years, or ten years. I won't be framing a photo of Aunt Milly and my friend from kindergarten trying to eat a mini quiche while holding beer bottles. I will be framing an amazing shot of me and my husband.
::Clapping:: That was an awesome, enlightning and reasonable theory. Thank you for putting this stuff into perspective.
@LBPhotography - That makes sense as general statement. But in my particular case, as I mentioned, we did ALL of our photos before the ceremony. And even then, for 80-90% of those pictures, only 2 out of 3 of the photographers were present. They split up on and off all night - didn't impact the quality of our photos AT ALL. They are gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! No complaints there. However, we got very few detail shots period. Our cocktail hour took place late/afternoon early evening and our venue had a ton of windows so I don't think lighting would have been an issue. And you can tell from the photos I did get that no artificial or additional lighting was used in those shots. Last, our ceremony and cocktail hour were in the same place, about 500ft apart from each other - no lengthy travel necessary or set up necessary. I get that that isn't always the case, but I have several friends in both situations (ceremony & recept in different locations, and ceremony & recept in the same place) that did end up getting a few photos with/of their guests, though who knows if they were requested or not.
And as I explained, the reason we had the kind of wedding we did was because our guests were so super important to us. So I am just sad that there was so little documentation of them. I didn't expect our photographers to spend an entire hour just photographing people and things, but at least one or two candid shots of our guests mingling and enjoying the fun things we provided for them would have been really nice. We spent so much time thinking about and planning the thing that I am bummed there's no evidence of it. I would certainly have wanted to include some of those shots in our album because for me they are part of the story of the whole event (I mean, what's cuter than a 7yr old with an ice cream cone!!). But I guess that's just me!
One of my big regrets was that we didn't get a lot of candids of guest (1 photo per table) and very few of aunts/uncles and my maternal grandparents. It was my own fault for not making sure and assuming it would be done, but still disappointing. I did ask my photographer and he found a few of my grandparents, so that was good.
Check your guests photos... I found a few great ones of those people that way.
At the end of the day, my wedding was still captured the way it was. Focus on the great shots you do have. Did you get it videotaped? My videographer definitely caught those who didn't make it to my photo album.
Advice for future brides is to have a shot list that is worked up with your photographer. This lets them know what your top priorities are for your photos. The shot list should cover you, your groom, the bridal party, ceremony, reception, getting ready shots etc... Ask you photographer if they have a general shot list and I am sure they would be happy to provide you with one.
as a photographer - in my opinion that's unexcusable to give 1300 photos and have a couple feel like those kind of items were missed or under attended - especially with 3 photographers in essentially the same location? That's a little bizarre...yes, you can always find "something" that wasn't covered - but even a well experienced solo photographer can cover the day very well in a few hundred photos...and details should be a very solid part of it.
DBallman, if you look through this board, this topic has been coming up a lot lately. In some cases, brides with over 2500 photos felt things were missing. For example, having the wedding rings, having the wedding pillow, but not having the wedding rings and pillow together. Or having close ups, wide shots, inside shots, and shots of the bride and groom together, but not having a close up, looking at the camera, smiling shot of the bride and groom outside at sunset.
I've seen complaints where the bride felt something was missed, but complained about how the photographer took TOO many of the guests or details. Someone complained there were 3 photos of a bucket but none of XYZ.
I've just noticed brides getting more and more specific with what they wanted afterwards.
I think you must communicate this beforehand as a bride.
For my own wedding, I went into it with the thought "I hope he captures some details and a couple great shots of my husband and I in the stadium." And therefore, I was blown away by what he did get.
I use the photos to help trigger memories, so when I see a wide shot of my whole ceremony, I see the little light stands I had, for example. I didn't need a specific closeup of them to remember I had them.
I think it is just getting hard for photographers to take every single detail in every single combination. When I am following a list of "stuff," I can do it and do it well, but I do miss those true emotions and the chance to be super creative.
@kwynn: i think the reason for all these specific complaints and requests is a result of all these wedding websites! honestly, it changes our expectations seeing so many wedding pics all the time. i just put my wedding photos on facebook last week and pretty much everyone IS blown away by them as you say you were by own photos! And when i really truly think about what my expectations were for my wedding before i ever started planning - well i remember telling people "i just need a date, location, and dress!". Then i found weddingbee and had to plan the perfect centerpieces, place cards, flowers, everything! And of course, get perfect photos of everything! when i put my mind back to where i was at the beginning of this process and look at my photos with that perspective, then i am most certainly blown away by their awesomeness! sometimes i almost wish i never looked at so many other people's pictures! anyway, just thought i would put my little observation out there.
also, i have seen you (kwynn) and another photographer on a different thread mention the same thing about the bride who was upset that she had pics of her ring pillow, her rings, but not of the rings ON the pillow! I think it is myself that is being referenced there and i would like to clarify because i find it sounds so silly! Yes, i did wish i had a pic of rings on pillow (well i am over it now and really couldn't care less), but i was primarily upset with my ring pics because i have a heart shaped diamond e-ring, and in ALL my ring pics, it is upside down! so its really not a usable photo.....and my photog got NO photos of my ring pillow! (that is the misconception i am clarifying). So i wished i had told her how much i wanted one because i loved my pillow as it was so beautiful! And since the rings were tied to it, it just would have followed that they would be in the pic. One of the guest photos i got back however was of my ring pillow! i don't know who took them, but it ended up on my computer folder of guest photos and i was thrilled!
@Purple Unicorn- I do agree it is a curse of the Internet, we see so many photos. I think it is kind of like buying the dress-once you get it, stop looking. :) You'll always find another one you think you have to have. Heck, I got married two years ago and can see some of the artistic stuff now and wish I had those from my wedding day.
You can probably Photoshop your engagement ring to be right side up. Did you ask the photographer? This is generally an easy fix.
Another thing I'd suggest to brides is, as you make things, take a photo of them. Most people have a bio or something or blog to share DIY's anyway, so take a photo of your place cards or your bracelet or whathaveyou as a way to remember the planning too. I did that as I went through my engagement and I think that's why I don't care as much about the details from my wedding day.
@kwynn: i never asked my photographer about photoshopping the ring photo. i actually asked her to photoshop out some ugly trees that were hanging over my ceremony site. and i only did that because when we were in Jamaica before my wedding, i voiced my concern that i did not like the look of them and she said she could photoshop them out, so i just reminded her what she said. I did not want to start asking her to photoshop every little thing i nitpicked because in no way did i want her to think or feel i didn't love her and her work to the max! my stone is small and so i blame myself for not thinking to tell her it was heart shaped when she took them! everytime i show my ring to someone i tell them in case they can't tell!
Also, i am not sure if it is that easy to photoshop because of the shape, its not like you can just flip it without cutting some of the background out of place. also the shape of my band is not straight and i think that might make it more difficult. I will show you the pic i am talking about here - what do you think?
TO THE OP - so sorry for hijacking this thread!
Absolutely it can be done, not that hard of a fix looking at the image. :) Probably 20 minutes of work.
Try retouchup.com if your photographer allows it but can't do it. Just ask your photog if she either minds doing it or if she minds if you have it done.
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Hi bees!
Our photographer so wonderfully turned around all of our digital wedding photos, and put them online just 5 weeks after the wedding. I looked at them all last night, and while the quality of his photos are truly amazing, I am super disappointed in the content. Meaning, he uploaded nearly 1300 images to this website, and there are no images of any part of our cocktail hour AT ALL, and no images of a lot of the DIY stuff I did. More disappointing is that there are almost no candid shots of our guests (without us in the shot) during the reception. He and his crew focused primarily on us and our immediately families. I did not give specific direction on taking the detail shots, so that's not such a big deal, but do most photographers completely ignore photographing wedding guests? We did all of our formal photos before the ceremony (including family and bridal party formals), and my now-husband and I even took some alone time in the bridal suite at the beginning of cocktail hour, so I'm REALLY surprised that among 3 photographers, not one took any photos during cocktail hour.
I am super super super sad because our venue has a really great cocktail hour space and some of the really nice, special things we did for our guests (specialty drinks in mason jars w/colored straws, and a gelato bar, to name a few) were not documented. I thought for sure that was a really obvious thing a wedding photographer would shoot, but maybe I'm wrong? I don't even know how many of our friends or family took photos during cocktail hour cause I haven't really seen much. It just sucks so much that I had 100 people at my wedding and professional photos of only 20-30% of them.
Obviously there's not much I can do about now. I just wonder how to deal with it and move on.
- A sad bee