- 3 years ago
What to do about wedding photo etiquette?
My family is MUCH larger than FI’s, and FI’s family has very few guests coming, so few in fact that my family total dwarfs his. My mother is asking for family photos on our side, with aunts and uncles etc. because they’ve flown in from very far, however the sheer number of people and photos we would need to take would be a struggle. My FI has more friends coming than family, and we won’t be taking pictures with them, so I’m really hesitant to indulge my mother too much as I’m paying for this and I don’t want to prioritize one family over another. Also, FI and I rarely have photos taken of us, I’m really treasuring the opportunity to have photos taken of us together by a professional photographer. I want the time to take as many photos of us on our special day as possible, as selfish as it sounds we’re my priority that day.
The only thing I have made an allowance for is a photo with my grandmother. She’s the only grandparent I have left, my FI has no grandparents left, and she’s nearly 90 years old. I was going to have a destination wedding but she was my priority in choosing to have a traditional wedding here at home (in fact, the wedding is closer to her home than it is to mine!) and this will be one of the rare times that all of her grandchildren and her one great grandchild will be in the same place at the same time. I’ve decided to do a photo with her and all her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I don’t feel this is selective of one family over another, I think it’s an incredible opportunity to honour her as one of our VIPs.
Could this be seen as bad etiquette? I know my mother is somewhat disappointed because she wanted photos with her sisters etc. but not her whole family is together and I dunno, somehow I think grandmothers at 90 years old transcend all etiquette borders. I am indulging her in other areas, like having a family photo of just the five of us without my hubby, sibling photos, and am doing the same for his family.
The other issue is, in this photo would it be alright if I didn’t include guests/plus ones/wives? It’s an exclusively grandchildren/great grandchild photo, and as much as I know everybody feels like they’re deeply in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend, these aren’t necessarily people that my grandmother sees as honorary grandchildren, and it’s just one photo. Nobody wants to see that girlfriend in the photo who nobody can remember the name of.
Am I in the wrong here? Should I be including plus ones/significant others in this photo, and am I wrong to prioritize my grandmother and a cool family photo over pictures with aunts and uncles on both sides?
Etiquette is really tough 🙁