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I would not recommend deactivating your account. Instead, I think you should use it to keep an eye out for pictures that your guests do post, and here's why: many of the albums that people create on Facebook are publicly accessible. If you do find photos posted, you can ask your friends to change the privacy settings of the photo album.
Your profile privacy settings may keep others from seeing your profile if they aren't your friends, but if you don't ensure that the privacy settings for each photo album are also set to "Friends Only," people who aren't even your friends can end up seeing them. All it takes is for a friend-of-a-friend to make one comment on a photo album that is accessible to "Everyone." With the new News Feed and real-time updates on the home page, it will get easier and easier for old middle-school friends of your coworker to see a bunch of photos from your wedding.
i would check out your privacy settings. i spent a few hours playing with it and found a way so that no photos tagged of me would show up in my friends feeds. of course, that doesn't prevent others to see pictures of you regardless of whether or not you're tagged. i think the statement in the program is the best bet, but unfortunately, facebook is here to stay, and some guests might end up posting the pictures anyway. i cant tell you how many pictures of me are on facebook that i absolutely detest, but have learned to come to terms with.
tessadress2.jpg (44.9 KB, 36 downloads) 1 year old tessdressbig.jpg (13.5 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old
oh this definitely has me thinking...
i totally get both points of view, but i guess if you feel strongly about it, you can send an message to your invited guests requesting them to not post pics on FB and to utilize shutterfly.
on the other hand, you don't own them and you will prolly be in 3 out of their 50 pictures.
but unlike wedding bee, people can be snarky or jealous in FB. i think deactivating your account won't prevent people posting pics on FB...the difference will be that you won't be able to view it while the rest of the world might be able to. so i say just increase your security settings, send an e-mail request to not FB and only use shutterfly. people will understand that since they were lucky enough to be invited, they should respect your wishes to privacy.
I ended up emailing my guests who I know post EVERYTHING on Facebook and asked them not to put pictures of every single thing that happened in our wedding... Most of them were understanding. Only one person made a weird comment because she thought I was asking her not to put any pictures... I just didn't want the whole ceremony, cake cutting, etc.. etc... I didn't care if it was pictures of people who were there or if we were in the picture posing with them... I totally don't think it's rude for you to ask them not to post the pictures... and since it is your wedding, you should be the first one to post them if you choose to post them. But everyone has their opnion... and I agree with jcandy-- some people are really snarky and make rude comments about pictures.. and as a bride, I just didn't want to read that about my wedding after all the months of planning and trying to make things perfect... :)
IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? Seriously, images of brides posted to FB before she even wakes up the next morning and has gotten a chance to see pictures she paid the photographer for, or even some of her own snapshots, is unbelievable!
I am going to have my father add in a request to refrain from posting images of the special day before opening the reception with a small prayer. At that point if anyone still posts pics I would probably have very little regard for them going forward in life. I think at the very least a request like this from a bride to her guests is minimal and can be easily followed.
I have gawked over old high school friends 200+ wedding pics posted the next day by someone at the wedding, an additional 200+ posted a few days later and all while the bride was on her honeymoon, seemingly disconnected from the rest of the world. And I felt very guilty and bad that they were out there and I was thinking, eww, I don't like her flowers, wow, they did their hair themselves. Or even worse, a bride I don't know who was tagged drunk with her strapless dark ivory bra sticking out of her lovely ivory dress. It's not her fault she was having a good time at her wedding and even if she "un-taggs" herself, the photo is still out there and anyone going through the "Album" it is in will go past that photo and see her. Once it's out there, it's out there.
Bah! I like sal75's pre-wedding email, I think I might try that.
I don't know what to tell ya. I hate facebook. Ok idea, yikes to the result! I ended up having ex-boyfriends and people I didn't want to ever see again find me. And sometimes, it is just awkward, and so unprivate.
I defintely want to find a way to ask people not to post me, and at the very least not to tag me...
Wow. such very private people on this board! I say if you want to be private, don't have a FB or MySpace account at all. Or More specifically:
1.) If there are people you don't want to invite to your wedding, you have to take responssibility for it eventually. Hiding the FB pics from them so they don't know it has happened or will soon happen is kind of immature.
2.) If you plan to do things at your wedding you don't want other people to see. Don't do them at all or accept the fact that other people, including those not present, are going to see you doing them. Or, if you are planning something really crazy, make your wedding theme "Vegas" and install a big sign at the door that says "what happens at my wedding..."
3.) We are all a bunch of hypocrites when it comes to FB. The major benefit of facebook is the ability to invade other people's privacy to one extent or another, yet we each want to keep our own :P
4.) No matter how you word it, I'd see it as rude without an explanation. Coupling it with "private event" will lead to all kinds of unwanted questions directed at you and the groom all night... on your wedding night. That would suck.
5.) The simple solution: don't do anything you're ashamed of doing and never have to worry about what anyone says, posts or reads about you on Facebook.
Fin.
Well said and funny @EngagedtoPanda!
That's really how I feel about it- I just live my life and avoid FB, but if something IS on there, that's life.
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