Post # 1
Ugh – bees help!
I originally really wanted a straight up rustic, laid back weekend for our wedding. My vision was to find a place in Northern New England, on a lake or the ocean. I wanted it to be somewhere people could stay for the weekend or just the night. My plan was lobsterbake rehearsal dinner, laid back just hanging out on the beach. Then reception, at the same place we were staying, bon fire after party. <br /> Well, there was push back because some family thought it might be too far to travel, and then my mom thought a few of the places I found were too woodsy and not fancy enough. In any event, I changed my whole direction – now we’re getting married at an estate, very beautiful, but its not a weekend away, its outdoor in a tent on a nice location, but they dont allow any fire pit and that was like the number one thing i wanted.
Now all these people around me are planning the wedding I originally wnated and I’m just feeling bummed. Deposits have been made so theres no going back now – but I guess now I’m dying to find a way to make my wedding unique, maybe somewhere else to do an afterparty.<br /> I’m just feeling bummed 🙁
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
Sugarbee711: my first wedding was like that. Wanted something small and intimate which turned in to 150 people and an italian wedding.
This time, we stuck to our guns and even though there is plenty of family upset that they aren’t invited, we are holding true to the wedding that we want based on who we are. 26 people in our backyard, dinner at a steakhouse (here’s the menu, order whatever you want, have a few drinks, some apps, steak/lobster whatever!) and we’re just picking up the tab. Then anyone who wants to can come back to the house for beer, wine, and bbq…
I’ve been through the wedding I didn’t want and regretted it. I’m so glad we were firm in what we wanted
Post # 3
I would definitely suggest doing an after party or even a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend away somewhere? That way maybe you could invite a few close friends and still stay on a lake or by the ocean for a weekend.
Post # 4
This may not make you feel any better, but even when brides DO get to plan their dream weddings without any opposition, the weddings/receptions still sometimes do not turn out the way we envisioned. There were many of us who planned our perfect weddings only to find that something — in my case it was a derailed timeline and a few other factors; in others’ cases it may have been inclement weather, illness, a vendor going out of business, poor photography, etc. etc. — or several somethings didn’t turn out the way we planned.
I’m sorry that you’re no longer enjoying the planning process as a result of what has happened. However, maybe you could do the lobsterbake and bon fire as your rehearsal dinner.
Post # 5
You want the exact same type of wedding I want (small, rent a venue to stay, rustic) and I’m struggling with similar conflicting family desires. I second the idea of doing either rehearsal dinner or after party how you want it. If family can’t handle less fancy, they don’t have to stick around for it!
Post # 6
Girl don’t feel too bad! There are a lot of women who are in your boat, like me — I wanted a simple Carribean DW elopment, but my family and FI’s family completely freaked out when they found out and so now we’re doing this almost $40K wedding where we’re paying for about half of the costs.
Sometimes I lay awake at night super stressed about the money and feel upset that we could have saved that money for ourselves. But it is what it is.
I feel your pain! But your wedding will be absolutely wonderful! If you are really set on the low-key by-the-beach event, then I would suggest that you and your FI rent a place that you both love and do a private commitment ceremony together. I’m thinking of doing the same with my FI when we go away for our honeymoon 🙂
Post # 7
I like the idea of an after party, or a party with the the bridal party before hand. That would be a lot of fun and everyone would enjoy it.
I wanted a bonfire too, mostly to make s’mores. But, we’re having a January wedding. Comprimise, indoor s’mores station! We’re doing a woodsy wedding indoors, lots of things you can do with decor.
I wouldn’t be too bummed out, your venue still sounds beautiful, and ultimately at the end of the day you’ll be married to your love and at that point it probably won’t matter where you are.
Be excited! you’re getting married!
Post # 8
Mr Trilly and I wanted a quick n simple JotP thing with my immediate family only and then dinner as a family. It turned into a full out wedding. But we weren’t paying for it so we went with the flow and ended up having an amazing time.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone! I feel silly being bummed about it, because I’m lucky to be having such a nice wedding and there are a lot of elements I love about it. But yano – I had a vision! LOL