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Invitation Etiquette is it Universal? (a little off topic)

Wedding Planner

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
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    1.
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    Wannabee
    MissMumble      

    SO - I hired a wedding planner, a high school friend of mine who does this for a living offered to do it. She is charging me very little to do literally everything ($750).

     My FI and many others keep saying this is unnecessary - and it is still not to late to back out. Any thoughts on wedding planners? I hired one because I am not enjoying planning and actually really hate it. We have been engaged 5 months and I have done three things - book venue, hire photographer, and buy my dress. 

     

    Thoughts?? 

     
    2.
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    Blushing bee
    Cyd    July 17 and July 18 2009   Finger Lakes, NY / Thousand Islands, NY

    My thoughts are this - the opinions of your friends/family/etc. in this case are irelevant. She is offering you a tremendous deal and if you are hating the wedding planning process it is in your best interest to hand the details off to someone who clearly loves this kind of planning. Why show up on your wedding day annoyed, frustrated, burnt out and frazzled if you have a good friend willing to help you out for a bargain? Go for it! Do what is best for the two of you as a couple. I bet you will look back on it and see this as the best $750 you spent on the entire wedding.

    Best of luck and congratulations!

     
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    Helper bee
    peihan17      

    Meh, if you don't like/don't want to do the planning, I think it's perfectly reasonable.  Friends- none of their business.  FI- would he be willing to plan the entire wedding himself instead?  No reason for him to expect that you should plan it all if you don't want to!

     
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    Bumble bee
    rebecca    September 13, 2008  

    My planner is has been the best ROI of the entire wedding. She's saved us much more than she costs, and she's been wonderful to work with.

     
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    Newbee
    LibraryBride    April 18, 2009   Chicago, Illinois

    My wedding planner has also been a lifesaver. You're getting a great deal and you'll especially appreciate it on the day of the wedding when the last thing you'll want to worry about is when the florist will arrive and if everything will be what you orderd! Ignore them and enjoy the luxury!

     
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    Worker bee
    quickbrownfox       dallas, tx

    I've been engaged a year and my wedding is coming up in 2 weeks. I've been doing all the planning by myself with minimal help from my FI's sister and my FI. My FI have been a fantastic groom. He helps me in any way possible.

    I didn't hire a planner simply because I thought we wouldn't be able to afford it (-> Wrong). After all these times, if i would do it all over again, I WOULD hire a planner. I think it would be a great great investment that would saves my time and energy so much.

    I love planning but I'm not very organized and definitely need someone to keep me motivated.  With a wedding planner, I definitely think that you would have more time to focus on something that's more important than the wedding, the marriage :) Knowing that you don't like to plan, I really think it's important to have a planner! :)

    Even if you don't need a planner, you would still need a "Day Of Coordinator" so you dont have to worry about a thing on your wedding day. 

     
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    Sugar bee
    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    Wedding planning can really take over your life.  I have actually enjoyed most of the process, but I have a huge amount of help from my mom, sister, and FI in the execution.  However, I still had to do all the research myself.  In retrospect, it would have been great to have someone to do all the legwork - find out which florists had worked with our venue before, search the internet for place card holders shaped like musical instruments, find photos of bouquets in pink and lavender, get another copy of the RD restaurant wine list when mine completely disappeared...  Even though I think I would still have done some things myself (every meetin with the band has been loads of fun, and hours of surfing the internet gave me ideas I never would have had otherwise) I absolutely would have paid $750 to have, over the last nine months, someone to organize the process, keep us on task and deadline, and if nothing else just step in when I was too tired, too burnt out, or too busy to take care of stuff.

    A wedding planner is absolutely unnecessary.  And if you have no job and no kids to care for and no hobbies and a deep interest in planning parties and some prior knowledge of exactly what is required to make everything go, there is no reason in the world why you should pay someone else to do this job.  If you feel like you would rather get to sleep before midnight most of the time, don't really enjoy researching the various options for buying 10-inch organza circles and matching ribbon, and don't already know how to address an invitation to a retired general married to a federal judge, a wedding planner is a great idea. 

    Your family and your FI may be super helpful people, but probably the primary burden of all this is going to fall to you - it always seems to be that way.  So I would say that their opinions actually don't matter.

     
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    Busy bee
    missm    09-27-08   San Francisco

    I'm too much of a control freak to get a planner, but it's been a HUGE undertaking - way more than I figured, but it's been ok.  I did, however, hire a DOC who is actually going way above and beyond - I feel like I have a partner in planning, someone who is organized, fabulous and always there which has been a phenomenal stress relief.  I know on the day of the wedding, I just need to show up and enjoy myself. 

    In your case, I'd say go for it!  Is it absolutely necessary?  Of course not, but that's the story with most wedding expenses.  If you aren't into the planning and are getting a great deal from a pro, then it's a no-brainer and will make for a much more pleasant and probably more cost-effective planning process.  A good planner should be able to save you more than you paid in planning fees, but regardless of the savings, the time/stress savings alone shouldn't be underestimated!

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    Busy bee
    missm    09-27-08   San Francisco

    besides, as suzanno pointed out, the burden of this will fall to you, so it's really your call.  my FI has been incredibly helpful and initially pushed back when I asked about hiring a DOC, but he's changed his tune now that he sees how much happier and less stressed I am and also how much she has brought to the table already (we're still three months out).  hiring a DOC has been the #1, hands-down wedding purchase we have made and i don't regret it for a second!

     

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    Helper bee
    SoCalBeachGirl    07/07   Boston, MA

    If you are not enjoying the process of planning, then by all means keep the planning!  That's a phenomenal rate she's offering, by the way.

    I did enjoy the planning and researching, but I hired a day-of coordinator to hand over my detailed timeline so that I didn't have to even think about it.  The last thing you want is to be worrying over details during the wedding.

    I was so happy I was able to ENJOY my own wedding.  Once I turned the timeline over, I was in the zone because I knew everything I wanted would be executed flawlessly. 

     

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