- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
This is kind of a rant..sorry in advance. I got engaged last summer…which turned out to be a long engagement because of my churches requirements..we’re finally down to 9 months until the wedding. Well, 6 months ago I got laid off from my job of 5 years. Bummer. I hated my job, alot….so I took a leap and decided to start taking the prerequisites for nursing school at my local community college. I’ve never been great in school, matter of fact I hated school and had alot of problems socially and academically in highschool. Anyways, I sure tossed and turned over returning to school. I doubted my academic abilities. I cried hours on end about what to do, go back to work for another company doing the job I hate…or try something new. I completed my first two quarters with a 3.7 GPA. I began my 3rd quarter two weeks ago. I bombed my first math exam and now I’m sobbing over my anatomy and physiology books in near certainty that I will also bomb my AP exam this thursday, despite non-stop hours of studying. I am just scared to death I can’t hack it this quarter, I’m overwhelmed and I just don’t know what to do to make it better. Also, all my wedding planning has been on the back burner since the quater started. I have dropped several hints to my parents to help me out with a few things, but they just blow me off. I have yet to find a venue, and as much as I tried to make time this week to go look at some….nothing. Also, I made so many calls to several venues but only one called me back. I seem to have back luck with voicemail and email lately…doesn’t matter what it’s in regards to…the wedding, school, none of them seem to get answered and I’ve just been feeling pretty alone. FI wants to help me study, but he’s working two jobs so I can stay in school for the next year and half. Somtimes I think I made a huge mistake thinking I could handlee this and planning a wedding. I’m scared to death of failing..and everyone seeing me fail. //wrists.