Weddingbee boards

Ugh. I've been a bit upset today. We are just about 5.5 months to the wedding and no one seems to be excited but me. Well, my mom is possibly inching towards excitement, its difficult to know from e-mails sometimes, ya know? But while my FMIL is being a huge help with things, I feel like she sees the wedding as more a burden then an exciting event to look forward to.

Then, on top of the worry no one else cares, there is the fact that I am having to do a great deal on my own. My MOH, my older sister, refuses to do anything. She has even told me flat out she will NOT be throwing me a bachelorette party. Of the 3 bridesmaids, the only one who wants to plan it can't because she lives on the other side of the country and will probably not be here until the night before the wedding- too late for a bachelorette party. So I can either throw myself a party, which makes me want to cry, or I can go without, which also makes me want to cry.

*sigh* Frankly, outside of my excitement over the invitations (I am making them all myself and they are fabulous, if I do say so myself!), the whole wedding process has me down lately. I really regret having a long engagement (1.5 years). I wish my FI was more interested in eloping. I wish we had the money for a honeymoon (we were going to go camping for 2 days, but our top 5 choices of camp grounds have been booked up solid for months and months and months!) I feel like my FI and I fight all the time because I'm so unhappy about this planning and he's so wrapped up in his stuff that I burst (we are in counseling, which helps, but we've got a ways to go). Its like, when its just FI and I, no wedding stuff involved, we're good and happy, but throw in wedding stuff and suddenly everything falls apart!

I just feel like crying about it all in general, but don't know what would help, if anything. I'm not really sure if i'm looking for advice, or hope, or a shoulder to cry on that cares (since no one in my life seems to give a shit). I just feel so overwhelmed, unloved, left out of the fun aspects (engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, etc.) but forced to do all the crap stuff (actually planning the wedding).

I know how you feel rabbit. The other day while FI and I were getting frisky, I just suddenly started bawling and it took awhile for me to calm down. Everything just kind of built up until I couldn't handle it anymore and instead of having some fun, we just cuddled...for like 2 minutes and then his friend called and wanted to come over, which worked out just fine, actually.

@jordynrose- I am excited about the end result- being married to someone who, despite the increase of fights, makes me so so happy. Its just that after over a full year of engagement, I keep hoping that "any minute now!" other people will care suddenly and be excited with me, that others will suddenly offer to help or understand the pressure of throwing a 120 person wedding all by my self. Thanks for listening! (by the way, you get married the day after my birthday! :D Beautiful time of year, if I do say so myself!)

@Mrs Franks- Rant away friend! As you could read in my post, I know its good to rant out loud to people who are willing and able to listen sometimes. I am very sorry to read that you've lost your job. That sucks. I'll be on the hunt myself come mid-May and graduation. I am not looking forward to it, let me tell you! Have you tried temp agencies where you live? I've been signed up with one for a year now, but every few months they throw something my way. As for the wedding business- maybe we brides do get too wrapped up in things. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I think Miss Stripes said it best in her blog the other day- we don't need blog worthy weddings, we need weddings which bring us joy and allow us to connect with that joy and the people around us. If we can do that- we created the perfect wedding, no matter how it looks, where it is, and how much we spent. Its hard to remember that when we're caught up in things, but I think its important.

Thanks for listening. Its good to know we have people to talk to about this stuff!

@Toffee- Wow! I'm so sorry! Was your FI okay with the crying or did he freak out? I've done that before. We'd had such a stressful week right before hand, we started kissing and I just started bawling. Crazy stuff. My FI was good though and ended up just holding me for a long time. It lead to a good conversation. I hope you and your FI are able to have a good conversation about what led up to your crying. I also hope we can both find the joy in our wedding planning while leaving the stress behind. *hugs*