Post # 1
Hi all! I just joined the site, and I’m looking to all of you other bees to help with some blues…
My Fiance and I dated pretty briefly before we got engaged. My mother and father were less than delighted to hear the news, which I can understand. However, my mother has become increasingly hostile towards the wedding and all but trashes the wedding when she gets an opportunity. If my mother and I were accustomed to having a tough relationship I could understand, but we were always the best of friends beforehand. Now, my Fiance and I have had some issues in the past, issues I talked through with my mother, but I now know in all certainty that this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I want us to have the most beautiful wedding ever with, hopefully, great support from friends and family.
I don’t have too many friends, but my best friend (and MOH) is sort of coming at this from the same angle as my mother. Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law, however, are absolutely elated about the wedding. This is a great base for support, but a part of me hates that I’m sharing all of my wedding decisions with my FI’s family instead of my own. I’m happy with my decision, but I feel like it’s coming with the risk of literally tearing my family apart.
What can I do? Am I totally helpless?
Post # 3
I know how you feel! When I got engaged, my mom’s response was, “You’re kidding, right?” We’ve had a 4 year engagement, and at this point I am thankful that she’s participating in wedding activities. However, I’m having some real issues with our families getting along. I’m trying to just focus on making myself happy, and hoping that things will fall in to place. It is very stressful, and it has definitly had an effect on my relationship with my mom. I don’t really have any advice because I’m trying to figure it out myself, but at least I can tell you that you’re not alone!!
Post # 4
I’m sorry your family is reacting to you this way. I dont know if I have any advice but *hugs*. I’m glad to hear you have support from his family. Have you told them that their actions are really hurting you? What if you just said something like I understand you have concerns and that you mean it from a loving place and I have heard your concerns but this is the man I’m marrying so I would really appreciate you supporting me.
Post # 5
I am so sorry to hear about your troubles!
I understand your issues, my Fiance and I have been together for over 8 years, and got together when I was in the middle of my divorce from my exhusband…he came along and raised my son as his own, and helped me be me again.
We have gone through alot of ups and downs, but have realized we are meant to be together…when I told my mom we are getting married this coming september, she said, gee glad I am here so I don’t have to go through all that planning with you!…holy crap! Talk about not into it!!!
You just have to go on and make your special day about your love for eachother, you and your guy. My FI’s parents haven’t been involved at all, my Future Mother-In-Law has stated she doesn’t want to go out the day before for mani-pedi’s with the girls, nor stay in the hotel the night before, nor be involved in planning! So hey, what goes around comes around is what I have to say to all of that! Karma is a bee-otch!
Have fun despite all the other people out there,. weddings are for celebrating love and togetherness, if your mom is less than excited, let that fall away and smile because you have found love in your life.