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I am in the same boat as you. I don't have any "real" friends to share with. Lucky for me though, I do have a daughter and a sister to share a little with, but allthough they are excited for me, they don't really want to participate as much as I would like them too. Part of this is because they live in a different state than I do. It does get frustrating not being able to bounce ideas off of someone, except my FI, so I just make the decisions mostly on my own. If they are big decisions, I get my FI's input first though.
I am glad im not alone! Its good to know that theres more brides going through this sort of situation, although i wish we werent going through it in the first place! same venue and having the same issues? are you my twin? lol
UUgg, I am totally feeling ya. My MOH (and SIL) is living in georgia, my best friend works all the time, and my mother lives out of town. My FH was working for the last 6 month out of town and now has only to come home to take care of his sons as there mother just passed away. We have so much to do and I have to do it on my own as there are more important things going on, but it still has to get done in less than 60 days. If it were not for these boards, I would be pulling my hair out and not knowing what to do. I have forgotten about alot of things, but because I have read these religiously for months they have kept me on track. I does get you down sometimes reading about all the things that people are enjoying and doing that I will never get to really enjoy, but the outcome will totally be worth it. I will be the Mrs. And we love each other, and all the rest is just a side dish.
Good Luck.
I am glad too. lol, about the venue :-)
I can hardly wait. I am going to spend the night there in the Grand View Suite, and then we will spend our wedding night there. We are hoping the weather will be nice, so we can eat our first newly wed couple breakfast together on the deck.
Maybe they should create a weddingbee matching service to hook brides like us up with a wedding buddy. At least someone to talk on the phone to, to call when you are really excited about something and just want to hear alittle giddyness besides your own.
@noritake22 I can hardly wait either! its such a beautiful venue. I wish we were staying there but unfortunately we want to do the get away picture with my car all decorated by our bridal party lol
@tksjewelry i am so down for that! Itd be really like to find a wedding buddy to even call and chat with about wedding things and get giddy together. It would definately take away some of the sadness. weddingbee should indeed do this lol
I have lots of female friends, but they are living on another continent. I do have female friends here in Seoul, but since weddings are so very different here, it's hard to discuss the same kinds of things. Plus, the only people I know who are getting married here are my male coworkers, and their Korean mother in laws are basically doing all the planning...so it's been a different experience. Having people at home does help, and I send out lots of pictures for people to see and give me feedback on, but it's not quite the same as discussing things in person. If there's something you want to share or if there's something you want to be excited about, WB is a good place for that. It's not face to face, but many girls come on here to share their wedding plans with people who actually care (because just because you have female friends doesn't mean they care).....so I think there are probably lots of people on here who will support you if you are lacking that elsewhere in your life.^^
@bamm Thanks for the support! weddingbee is helping alot, really its where im getting any kind of input other then my fiance! Its great to have a community that is supportive, even if its not face to face.
I just wish i knew how to deal with it better, i dont want to be sad while wedding planning thats no fun! but just trying to keep my chin up :)
i definitely understand the feeling, as the only female i have for wedding planning issues is my mom, and even that's on and off depending on her own schedule. you'll get through it though, and you and your fiance will be stronger because of it! but i don't know what i'd do without the wedding blog world..having others share your excitement and frustrations, even if they are virtual, is a huge blessing. it definitely keeps me sane!
and next time they do a bee meetup in your area, you should go! maybe you'll find a wedding-buddy or two! :)
You're not alone, but it will be ok :) It gets lonely sometimes, but you have to try to stay positive.
I had a lot of female friends in high school, but we're not close anymore. I made very few friends in college and law school (and the ones I did make were very close). But we've since sort of drifted apart b/c we all live in different states.
My mother, aunt and two female cousins live in a different state, too. And, to top it off, my mother isn't really into the whole wedding thing. She said congrats and asks how its going sometimes, then launches into talking about her problems or my brother's problems etc. She hasn't offered to help me with anything, or given me any suggestions/advice no matter how simple.
I only have one close female friend! The rest of my female "friends" are only people I see once or twice a year, that sort of thing. I have many more male friends for some reason, who of course couldn't care less about wedding planning. You're not alone, and it sucks at times for sure, but hey, think of what you'll be saving on bridesmaid costs. ;)
I almost didn't respond here, because I'm occasionally embarrassed about my dearth of close female friends, but I realized that perhaps I'm not as alone in this as I once thought.
I, too, do not have any close lady friends upon whom I can call for wedding-related things, be it chatting or participating. I don't feel any deep or trustworthy relationship with any high school or college friends, and as I am only now about to enter the workforce, I haven't met anyone new.
I'm fortunate that my mother is very much involved in the inspiration and execution process of all of this, and that a few other (older!) female relatives care, but... well, I don't have BMs or even a MOH at the moment.
So, I'm with ya, so to speak.
I've never been the kid of girl with a huge group of friends, and the ones I DO have area all in different states. My only sister, aside from also being in a different state, is 10 yrs younger and in college, so anything wedding-related is just not in her world right now. My entire family (and FI's family) lives 2 states away.
At first I feared I'd be sad or disappointed doing all the wedding planning by myself (FI has helped of coure!), but I have to say - I've enjoyed it and think I prefer it this way! I know ppl gave me sad patheric looks when I went dress shopping by myself, and it was a little annoying not because able to get an immediate opinion...but I also didn't have to worry about UNWANTED opinions or anyone being too pushy!
All in all, I'm happy with the way things have gone. My only disappointment is that I know my MOM wishes she'd been more involved. I think she always had a particular idea of what her daughter getting married would be like (check out venues together, wedding dress shopping, cake tastings...), and I didn't do a sinlge thing with her. I saw her at Christmas, and I'll see her next month at my shower.
I'm pretty much alone too. Mom is un-crafty (but good at spending money) and in another state, with no internet in their house. All the BMs are in different states.
I use the internet for comfort, since FI isn't into planning anything.
I moved to Canada (from USA) and that is the main reason i am alone. My mom wants to be involve but at the moment she is in the Middle East she will come to me a month before the wedding. My friends are not really into the wedding stuff i talk and talk just to let them know what i am up to but they r really not part of the wedding but will b in the wedding. I talk to my favorite aunt often updating her but mainly in the end of the day it just me and my FI. But since i have found this website i feel less alone :) I had the hardest time doing the more girly things like the dress, hair, makeup i wanted my best friends or/and my mom there but i try to share with them and my mom thu far away is taking care of the traditional side of the day :) I feel very depress at time too and my FI tries to understand for him is no big deal as i am his best friend and he wants to do everything with me only if he could :)
I have been thinking the same thing for a few weeks now. I don't have any close close friends, and the majority of friends I do have are actually all closer to my mom's age than mine! I think I just got tired of the women my age being so catty, so I tend to have more fun with mature ladies. Really there's only 1 friend that I keep in touch with regularly from HS and then 2 that I only see about once a year. I was thinking I wanted to ask them to be my BMs but I feel so awkard even thinking about asking them. I would LOVE a wedding buddy.
I totally understand what you mean. I've never really had any close female friends and I'm marrying my best friend, so it's hard to find somebody interested, especially with my older sister considering divorce and my parents divorcing. My little sis is just too young to be interested at all which is fine, I completely understand that, but sometimes it really does suck. I'm not even sure I'll be able to have a shower because I don't know anyone who would be willing/able to plan it for me. Sometimes being a girly-girl does have its advantages I guess.
I was in this situation. I'm not super close with any of my husband's friends' girls, and all my family and friends are halfway across the US where I grew up (NJ). I struggled with having NO ONE to talk to about wedding stuff!
However when I started my wedding blog I made other blog friends (and here on WB too) and that gave me an outlet so I didn't bore my few friends I talked to about the wedding to death.
MEET SOME INTERNET GIRL PALS ON HERE! :) It definitely helps. I have 3 or 4 friends I met through blogging that I am super close with - literally they're my BEST friends. And I've only MET one of them in person!
I moved out to CA for grad school after having lived on and gone to college on the East Coast. Virtually all my girlfriends are either back east or poor grad students and can't travel, my sisters are both still in school, and my family still lives back on the East Coast.
The only time I got to go dress shopping with another person was when I was home for Christmas. I figure I won't have a shower, or a bachelorette party, or any of those things. Sometimes it bothers me, but I figure it's more part of my general dissatisfaction with the state of my social life out here (which is to say what social life).
I think it's a big part of why I stalk WeddingBee so much. And occasionally I end up just chatting with folks about our plans and let that tide me over. I keep hoping there might be a Bee meetup near here at some point on a day I could go, but I also tend to be a little oblivious so who knows?
On the bright side, it means I get to avoid the bridesmaid drama?
I am always jealous of those sisterhood of the traveling pants/ bride wars movies. I've never had any female friends like that ever! Every female friend I've ever had has always screwed me over. I even joined a sorority to try to make more friends- did it work...not really. They were all two faced, and just bitchy girls. The friend I call a BF now is not really a BF, we hang out once n a while but that's about it. She is from my former sorority. Also the two girls that are my BM's are my former sorority sisters too- they are the normal ones lol. I am not really close with any of them really. Maybe it's me, I dunno. I always get along really well with guys. I am a girly girl but I can hang with the boys. My mom isn't into the whole wedding planning thing- she helped with my dress. My real sister has been MIA since she got her nursing job- she hasn't even seen my daughter in two months (that's a whole other story). It's kind of sad now that I look at it. I wish I had friends. Guys are okay but they just aren't "girlfriends". The brightside I got my daughter even though she is only 8 months lol
Oh I hear you...
I had a huge issue with this a few months ago and was really feeling on the down and down. I do have one best friend, my moh, but the other ladies in my bridal party...well ive had to face the facts (obviously after I asked them to be in my party) that i am actually not friends with any of them anymore. it really hurt when i realized that, and if it wasnt for FI, i probablly wouldnt have been able to keep up the positivity and remain productive with. it is upsetting when i think about it, but i try to keep the lines of communication open with fi and work the planning with him.
and of course, everyone here in the hive is amazing! reading about other peoples ideas and asking questions of your own in this environment has been really good for me and hopefully will be for you too.
Wow. More of you ladies are going through this than I thought. I guess we have each other ladies!
@sewing I definately will try to find a meetup in my area and try to go to that! would really be nice!
@Angela83 Definately trying to stay positive! have to, dont want to be sad while planning the best day of my life :)
@twalila I hear you.. my mom does want to help with the wedding planning but in a way though im happy she cant be here. Shes very negative and is the type who would say "Are you sure your doing the right thing?" all the time
@vistagirl Would love to have someone help me plan! Im sure my fiance is kind of tired of hearing about wedding things lol
@kjpugs I havent met any girl pals on the internet that im super close with but id love to find one! That makes me so happy that some girls are or have been in this situation and found some friends online
@lilperiwinkle My guy is great, but definately not the same as girlfriends. lol
My family too is not local, they are scattered all over the US and not one of them are in Washington, where im at now. Only family i have here is my fiance, who too is my best friend :) The wedding bee has definately helped. I hope to find some friends on here and get feedback on things for the wedding. We definately have each other! I cant beleive how many other girls are going through this. Im here for you ladies! :) And thank you all for being here for me! Definately has made me feel ten times better knowing you girls are out there!
I totally know what you are going through, I am in Washington as well, and am having to do everything with just my FI, luckily he is supportive and willing, but it is not the same as having a female to get excited with and bounce ideas off of. I am here as everyone is on bee, contact me I am only 2 hours away..
Yes my FI is very supportive aswell and tries to help as much as he can its just not the same having a girl friend to get giddy and excited with about wedding things and ideas. I also am here for you! Glad to find someone here in washington!
I am amazed at how many of us are in the same situation. I am also in Washington in a place called Spanaway. I would try to go to the bee meetup when they are scheduled, but I think I would be out of place, since I am an older bride. I do love the bee to bounce ideas off of though. And also for the support.
I have one good friend who lives across the country, a sister (MOH) who lives several hours away and is not involved much, and a mother who is also hours away and wants to be involved but works and lives too far. My FI hasn't been very helpful although he is starting to come around a bit. So, basically, it's been just me.
I went dress shopping by myself and found a dress on my own. I picked out cake and flowers with no one's input. I ordered invitations on my own and sent them out myself with RSVP's addressed to me, lol. At least my parents are paying nearly 1/2 the wedding.
I hear you on this one. My friends are all 2+ hours away. FI is great about doing wedding things with me and today he went to Macy's with me to look at a rehersal dinner dress. But it's just not the same as doing some of these things with a female friend. I've gone shopping with my FMIL and it's fun, but again it's just not the same.
I am also in the same boat. I do have friends, but none of them are exceptionally close. My close friends are more of online friends, and I suppose it is because I have social anxiety disorder and I sometimes fear people, especially a lot of people. But if I asked any one of these girls to stand up with me, I know that they would do it in a heartbeat. I have explained this disorder that I have, and they all fortunately understand.
I hear you too, girl.... My maid of honor lives in california.. Not coming until 4 days before the wedding, my FI and I both lost our moms at young ages, we're paying for everything ourselves, one of my bridesmaids has four kids, and is in school full-time, and the other one lives an hour away and works two jobs!
I cried while I addressed invitations! But, then I remembered that this whole thing, the whole wedding is about the man that I love and me...If things don't go perfectly, who cares, right? Just more to laugh about with the grandkids later.
This site is great for venting, though.....and cybersupport:) Good luck to you, and know that you're not alone!
Oh, I could have written the original post! This is precisely why I spend so much time online!
My best friend has been my BF since jr. high, was there for the birth of my youngest son, is like another mom to my kids... BUT she's been going through something lately. Some sort of midlife crisis, I guess (we are late 30's)... and basically pretty unavailable.
I have 2 more friends that I've grown apart from and only speak to a handful of times each year. One, in fact, I am wondering if I even want to invite to the wedding, she's been so distant.
My mother has been up until a week ago very negative. Well worse than negative; she actually changed the subject completely on THREE different occasions when I tried to tell her me and my fiance were getting married! We are a same sex couple. We have been together 7 years and I came out late, to her anyway, 7 years ago.. but my mom (otherwise very liberal and accepting and always had gay friends) didn't deal well with it at all and I'm lucky to get her to treat my fiance like a "friend" of mine most of the time.
I recently sent her an emal telling her how much this hurts me and how I wanted to be able to talk to her about the wedding without feeling like it's something I should be ashamed of, and I have seen some small improvements... she even discussed dressmaking with me and whether or not to invite my very religious aunt and uncle... so that's progress!
Still, though, I don't feel like I have many people to share with. My fiance is happy to let me make all the decisions (sigh)... my brother is very supportive but not much into wedding planning. It also has to do with the fact that we are in our 30's and everyone we know (which is not a lot of people) did the "wedding thing" 10 or 15 years ago, I guess.
My 12 year old did tell me I looked beautiful when I wear my contact lenses though and that I should plan on doing that for the wedding. 
Oh and that a vintage themed wedding would be "epic". So I do have him showing interest! LOL My 18 year old has offered to play guitar for the processional and the 7 year old (only girl) is about to burst with excitement and wedding questions... so I am thankful for my kids' enthusiasm at least!
So hopefully we can keep this post going? I felt like I was so lonely, then I sadly did a search on here for "no friends"... yeah, sad! Anyways, I have 2 friends who I consider close... but we are drifting apart. I am a little nervous because they are bridesmaids but I am not even sure if I made the right decision by asking them, they don't seem very interested. So, when it comes to wedding things, it is either my FI or my step-mom going with me... but I think they are not nearly as excited as I am when it comes to the little things.
I relate. I was engaged previously, and broke it off. At that time, I had a matron of honor, who was also very involved in my life. After the end of that engagement, I went through a crazy time when I was drinking too much, dating terrible guys, and was just pretty much a basket case. She stood by me and continues to be there for me, even though I have not been a picnic.
Then my matron of honor happened to move to a different state, and I mvoed as well. Since then we talk on the phone, but really we haven't seen eachother in 3 years. For past two years she has been dealing with some difficult career and health issues and it seems like we can't connect. I still cherish her, and i know we can reconnect, but it has been a long time. Now it feels weird for us to talk about anything wedding related, or talk at all. it seems odd to even ask her to be the matron of honor, but equally weird and insulting not to. Any advice??? It's also just technically hard to talk to her because she lives where there's no signal. Interesting huh.
My younger sister, I used to be very close to, but it has gotten harder recently. She got married but never planned a wedding in part because she was pregnant and just wanted to concentrate on that. She then lost the pregnancy...tough...but then had a healthy baby. Now that she is a parent she is very unreliable to me...which I know is normal, but literally, I can't depend on a call back from her, at all. Maybe that is normal because she has a 2 year old, but it's a loss for me. She's depressed too, and that plays into it. And sleep-deprived.
My older sister just broke up from a long term relationship (the one she got into after her divorce). He cheated on her, and she is feeling very lonely and angry. She knows a lot about weddings but she also has this very pessimistic outlook and pretty much only wants to talk about her desire for sex.
My mom and I have a pretty forced relationship. We are both polite and we both want an easier relationship, but we really have been having fake conversations for so long (decades), it's hard to know who eachother is.
My best friend in college moved to France after her (awesome) wedding. Another friend (single) moved to Germany.
My other friends from college and high school are spread all over the U.S. We have lost touch, which I know is my fault.
Did i mention I recently moved to a new city, one year ago, or that my SO travels for work?
I was making some new friends, my age, but after a while i realized they were all divorced, and really seemed on this different path: all about dating, drinking, clubbing, and pick up men. So, that didn't really work.
i am really missing not having female friends right now! I try to remind myself that because it's my goal to have female friends, it's possible, and will happen sometime in the future if I continue to prioritize it, but right now it feels so sad to go through a wedding without friends to share it!
I have some new friends that i am doing things with, and it is wonderful, but I am feeling so frustrated and angry with myself for not paying more attention to my friendships over the last 15 years.
I see a therapist and talk about this, but not sure how slow the learning curve is for "keeping old friends, making real friends".
In the meantime, maybe this expectation, to have female friends involved and present, is something I need to grieve and let go of???
Maybe that's better to let it go than just being angry at myself for how my choices led to this??
I realize I am really angry at myself for creating this situation...a life, but really isolated in many ways. I know people love me, and want to be there for me, but either it's hard geographically, or situationally. Anyone else get through this, and end up with more female friends after getting married??
I really know that feeling cuz I am in the same boat. I only have 1 close girl friend who lives in the area and my other few close friends live in other states so I don't talk to them much at all anymore. FI is pretty much in the same boat as me when it comes to close friends, he only has 1 close guy friend in the area, but they don't talk much anymore. We are not having a bridal party of course and we are having a private ceremony in Las Vegas with a small at home reception when we return.
hehe- yeah Ive been there! I live in sydney, come from Ireland- I have made the most wonderful friends here but when I was looking for wedding dresses etc, I didnt want to be annoying people with wedding stuff...
So I was on my own when I bought the dress, and I went to a wedding expo by myself!
I should have reached out to my friends here before, I have just been thrown the most amazing hen (bachellorette) party and am so lucky to have them about :)
Oh wow, I totally empathize with you, OP. I am going through the exact same thing. After I graduated high school, I went through a period of agoraphobia/depression and lost contact with all of my female friends. I'm not big on female friendships to begin with, because it just seems like every girl ends up screwing me over (because I'm too nice). Once another girl or a man comes into their life, they're done with me. I've never had a lifelong, thick and thin best friend. As it stands right now, I have no "friends".
My mom is a tomboy, she hates "girly" stuff. She wants no part of helping plan my wedding, not that I'd want her to, because unless I'm going with an NFL theme, I'd be up a creek. My sister is young and self-absorbed. She's my MOH, but she wants nothing to do with helping me out. My FCIL is going to be my other BM, and she says she wants to help out, but she is very busy with work and a child. I have a step-cousin who went to check out a venue with me, but anytime we go somewhere together she has to bring her pompous FI.
I've been wanting to go dress shopping for almost two weeks now, but I can't seem to find anyone to want to join me. I feel uncomfortable going dress shopping alone. I'd like to get at least one opinion on how the dress looks on me! Sometimes I feel like just buying one on eBay.
Luckily, I found WB in the nick of time! There are a lot of helpful and understanding members here. I get lots of inspiration from their kindness. Being on here has helped me from feeling so depressed.
@tiffbluebride4_2_11: I did that same thing lol I'm an only child and have moved out of state. My mom is extremely helpful, luckily! I have one 'close' friend but as usual we both have our own separate lives... she's in college and I'm in college on and on... Moving to a different state, this place is an entirely different world! I have my 'close' friend as my bridesmaid... she hasn't helped with anything at all but she's so busy, she really is. I hate seeing pictures of all these weddings with a bajillion bridesmaids! Where do you people find these good friends!?!?! I can't believe no one else has posted on this topic for so long!
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I basically have about 3 friends, and only 2 of them girls and all of them are not that close of friends. One of them i havent talked to in a year, the other theres an akwardness when we even do talk which is once every few months. Im planning my whole wedding myself with the help of only my fiance. It definately gets me down sometimes... It makes me sad that I dont have anyone to share the joy of planning my wedding, no female friends or sisters. I have sisters but lets just say because im a half sister, i am definately treated as such. As for mom she is definately of the negative sort, isnt into weddings at all. The friends i once had were ones i had for many years, so when they distanced out of my life, i was kind of lost and didnt know how to make new friends. I am excited about my wedding but just sad that theres no female input on anything and it gets very depressing! Plus i have just been keeping these thoughts to myself so i think letting them out is making me feel a bit better. Is there any other brides out there that dont have any female input? How are you dealing with it?