Post # 1
We are supposed to get married May 15th. For the bees out there doing the quick math thats 103 days from today. 103 days… three months and 13 days!! So here it goes.
A week ago we had a guest list of 300 people. Mostly FHs family. Where did the downward spiral start, when he went to his parents house to ask about the contribution they said they would offer and they told him they didn’t support us getting married. According to his parents our getting engaged and married has been a selfish deiscion, and at no point did we include the family in the desicion. Please please please tell me when is getting engaged and married an entire fanily desicion??? So they have pulled any and all financial contributions.
Even worse they told him that if we got married they werent coming becuase it was selfish
Then we get the call. Some one screwed up, our hall Double booked… so all the planning… the hall, the caterer, and thanks to FHs parents the budget are all shot. 103 days away!! Lets talk about stress.
If that wasn’t enough… We cut the guest list from 300 to 50!
With all the stress we considered majorly postponing the wedding, not getting married at all. Its been 72 hours from He**
Post # 3
@future.mrs.campfield: Hugs… I’m so sorry. What are your options now? How can we help?
Post # 4
Oh no! I’m so sorry you’re going through all this!! Can we help?
Post # 6
OOf, that is rough. First, a serious talk with FI and then FI’s family is in order. You and FI need to plan out what type of wedding you can afford together (w/o the contribution of FI’s family), and also if he wants to have a wedding if they won’t be attending. He may want to work out those family issues first, but they need to not be pulling that type of crap. Wow. If you’re thinking of postponing the wedding, think on it a few days and make sure its what you and FI really want.
I’d be all over that venue! I would: A) see what they can do to accommodate your wedding on your wedding day if you and FI decide you want to continue with the plan as it is; B) if there’s a deposit, I would most definitely demand it back, especially when the fault is on them; C) if you and FI want to move the date, discuss with the venue other dates that are available and what they will do to make this huge error right when you’re so close to your wedding (especially strong argument if you’ve had them booked for quite a while and you’ve thus stopped checking other places which are highly likely to be booked).
Sorry that crap’s going down right now. The most important thing I would recommend is just connecting with FI, taking a little time to calm down, and assess what you guys want as a couple and what you need to do to resolve these family issues. The venue should hopefully feel terrible for their error and work to make things up to you.
Post # 7
Im so sorry! Did they say why they thought you were selfish? Of course getting married isnt, and even so, i feel a bride gets to be a bit selfish anyways. lol. I honestly dont know what i would do if i were you. I dont handle stress well, so i feel so horrible! Have you guys looked at any other venues yet?
Post # 8
Wow! What a low blow from his parents. A week ago they are inviting the bulk of 300 guests, and now they are not coming themselves!
For your sake I hope they reconsider their idiotic behavior.
If not, chin up and forge ahead with plans for a smaller wedding. Your FI will need lots of support from you as I am sure this is very embarassing for him.
Post # 9
A week ago we had a $15,000 budget to work with. Which was amazing. Our budget has been cut to $5,000. Its been a few very hard nights. We almost called it quits. It took a lot of tears (from both of us) to realize that being together, getting married, and becoming a family was what was most important.
I feel like its crunch time. So when most brides are wrapping those final bows I am starting over from the beginning.
Post # 11
huh, so his parents dont support the marriage but most of the 300 guest list are their guests and was the budget slash of $15K to $5K was them backing out on finanical support?
i would be eloping if i was you – or a small garden wedding with a finger food rreception
*hugs* im sorry, you must be feeling heart sick with the stress
Post # 12
After they told him we didn’t have thier support and they were no longer going to help financially he came to the deiscion that we didnt need to accomdate the request to invite his entire family. From the beginning it was invite them all, or invite no one. We opted for no one.
We cut the list in half, he gets 25 and so do I. Which is fine. My guest list was 40 before the cut and that included a dozen aunts and uncles from out of state.
Post # 13
We opted for no one.
good for you! you and your FI are your own family unit now so stand firm and be there for eachother – how crummy of them to yank support this late in the game, im mean i know they are under no obligation but when you tell someone you will do ABC for them and let that person make decisions based on that promise its not right to later on have a hissy fit
i wish people that contribute to weddings would just hand over a cheque at the begining and stay out of it after that – i know thats what i do with my family members
Post # 14
If its the venue’s fault for double booking they should be doing something to help atleast? Some type of compensation at the very least. Did you sign a contract with them?
Post # 15
1. TALK TO YOUR RECEPTION VENDOR IMMEDIATELY! If you signed a contract with them, then you should either be able to get your money back or move your wedding date. If you do move your wedding date, I would negotiate some major freebies for their mess up. It’s ONLY fair hehe
2. Talk to your FI. See how he truly feels about his family. Don’t insert your opinion and just let him talk. Then make a plan of what to do from there. If he wants to fix it with his family, then figure out what y’all are going to do.
First and foremost though, have a drink! Haha just kidding, but I’m sure you feel like it! Take some time to relax and clear your mind though. Take a bubble bath, go on a walk, watch a movie, etc. It’ll make you feel a little bit better. I’m so sorry this is happening to you! *hugs!*
Post # 16
We got our deposit. We are looking at several smaller venues now that we have fewer guests to host. The nice thing about fewer guests… Better food! We’ve discussed doing a “door county shrimp boil” for any of you who have ever visited door county wisconsin in the summer