Post # 1
My FH is going to be commissioning into the AF this May, and we are planning on getting married this summer in Burlington, VT. The only problem is we can’t set a date yet because we are still waiting to find out his training dates. We’ve got the wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, wedding bands taken care of. We’ve also gone to look at our reception site, and are just waiting for my FH’s dates so we can pick a date that works for us and the site. Does anyone have suggestions on what else we can work on getting done in the mean time?
Thanks so much for your help!
Post # 3
You could work on the guest list, it takes a while to get everyone’s address confirmed and decide exactly who gets invited.
Post # 4
You could just do a bunch of research. Make a few lists of people you like for things like photography and catering and, once you book your date, see if any of those people are available.
Post # 5
I agree – we have been working on our guest list for two months and it is finally close to good. (I hope – guess we will find out when we send our save-the-dates and see how many come back as undeliverable.) We still have probably a good week of talking left to do and I have a couple of addresses that still look hinky to me.
For the venue, photographer, cake, catering, flowers, officiant, I would make a list of several for each. Your preference, and then some back-ups. We reserved our venue nine months ahead, and still didn’t get our first choice of dates. We reserved our photographer nine months ahead, and within two weeks he had three other requests for the date. Our wedding is in July.
You night also look into what kind of deposits are refundable and under what conditions… if you have at least some idea of a likely date you can go ahead and reserve, as long as you can get your money back if you need to change.
Also I am sure that weekends book up the fastest. If you have the flexbility to choose a weekday, maybe you have more options. That would be a good question for everybody on the list… and of course something to perhaps discuss with familly and friends on the guest list.
Post # 6
My FH is former AF, so I know your pain. One problem with their dates is that they can literally change them at no notice. My FH was supposed to be deployed in July (back in 04) and they ended up moving it up to MAY with only 12 days notice. I WAS FURIOUS!
Dates for OCS (I’m assuming commission as an officer) can change as well, as they can contact him and say "hey some guy decided not to come, so there is an opening and you’re in it"… He should be able to find out OCS training start dates online, as my FH had all that information available months prior… they just had to inform him of exactly which class he was joining- not that it helps too much, but maybe a vague idea will be helpful.
IF it isn’t too much of a PITA, you might want to consider moving your wedding to before he goes to training. Then you don’t have to worry about the AF messing up your wedding plans. Also, that way, he will get spousal seperation pay for while he is gone and at least that will help with the bills, etc… Just an idea. Let me know if you have any ??’s and I should be able to help- just PM me!
Post # 7
If it comes to it, we might just have to use a JP first, and a reception later, but the one thing that FH wants is a Catholic ceremony, and I’m not Catholic. It’s his job to call around to find a church, but he’s so busy lately that no phone calls have been made yet…
Post # 8
there’s a ton of stuff that you can do – depending on how detailed and involved you want to be 🙂 you can start researching hairstyles, bouquets, what shoes you want to wear, rehearsal dinner, rehearsal dinner dress, veil, what style of invitations you want, cake styles, favors..
since you konw what your reception site looks like, pick your colors! (or don’t, if you don’t care hehe).
Post # 9
You can absolutely do a civil ceremony first and then a Catholic ceremony. My sister booked her venue thinking that it was a Catholic church, and then foind out that it ceased to be a consecrated chapel when it became a historical landmark. Since a Catholic priest will not perform the ceremony except in a consecrated chapel, they had to get a nondenominational pastor to do the ceremony. They had their big service at Thanksgiving, and a family only Catholic service after mass just before Christmas.
The problem with the Catholic ceremony, if your FH is really busy, is that they will want you to go through Catholic pre-marriage counseling. This can vary from a series of short talks with the priest to in-depth questionnaire analysis of your compatibility as far as views on marriage, religion, children, and life in general. My sister and her husband went through a series of sessions that took part of a Saturday every weekend for a month! I gather this was because he was not Catholic, and not planning on converting. I would recommend that you call a priest yourself and find out what is involved. It might take more time than your FH has at the moment…
Post # 10
From what I’ve read, it does require a good bit of time, but myself and multiple family members have been on FH to start making phone calls for a couple months now, and as of yet, nothing has been done…I keep showing him postings about alternatives to the Catholic ceremony, but he keeps saying we’ll see what happens. So we’ll see what happens I guess…