Wedding planning – is it really such a big deal? What am I not doing!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

ne11y23:  It sounds like  you’re a planner, OP. Good on you! You’re well ahead of the game.

For some of us it isn’t as easy b/c: family interfere; SO has different ideas; we are broke; family have issues; we hate making decisions; we hate being the center of attention; we have weird bodies that make us nervous to try on dresses; we live places where it’s hard to find good vendors; I’m sure other Bees have other reasons.

Count yourself lucky!

 

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

ne11y23:  My FI says things like: “And we need a bagpipe player.” Sigh.

Post # 7
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

ne11y23:  As a PP said yea youe being a planner and your family being very open and understanding may be why you’re very lucky to not have any stress. I find it stressful because I’m in school doing fashion design ,working full time, and a very active member of my church. So with all of that going on I also have a wedding to plan. I did alot of research before being engaged and we actually are pretty good and got alot of stuff out the way early. I think also the fact that your having a smaller wedding (lucky girl) play into it being a less stress/stress free wedding. When its all said and done we are expecting 220 ppl at our wedding and that’s after major cuts. The major stress has been the guestlist for me atleast. My godmother is the coordinator so I just tell her my vision and she uses her contacts to make it as close to that vision as possible. Hopefully in a week or so the guestlist will be finalised and the next 5 months would be a breeze. 

Post # 8
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You sound like you’ve done great! You know way more about what you’re doing than I did at that stage. I was so lost and didn’t know the first thing about weddings. I tried going to bridal shows to learn more. I found out that everything was twice to five times more expensive than I’d budgeted. Trying to pay for everything was majorly stressful. I worked a lot of overtime. Trying to get my family to get involved (come with me to look at dresses, give me addresses, I wanted to do family photos but needed them from the family) was like pulling teeth. I got stressed out when I couldn’t do many of my planned things because I just didn’t have the time/money/help that I needed. Everyone in the family had an opinion on what I should be doing with the wedding even though they weren’t helping and in some cases weren’t attending. It caused many fights and hurt feelings. Pretty much anything that could have possibly gone wrong with my wedding did. <br /><br />I think maybe because you are not picky that helps. I was VERY picky. I had this dream wedding in my head since I was a little girl and I wanted everything to be perfect, the way I imagined it. So, when nothing was working the way I planned I think it stressed me out a lot. Another thing I really should have done was realized how much the wedding would actually cost before setting the date. We had in our heads what we THOUGHT it would cost. When it came down to it, it was much more. We already had booked the hall and then had to wait months inbetween booking each vendor just to save enough. We ran out of time and I freaked out at the end when I was out of time, out of money, and still had things to book. It was difficult looking up all the vendors in the area, going through reviews, meeting with several, finding the best deal. It also would have helped if anyone in the family could have helped me out ( Like gotten their own kids sizes instead of making me measure their kid, go buy their kids clothes, bring them the kids clothes only to find out wrong size and have to do this again, and again for six kids for example.) There was definitely much more to a wedding than I ever thought. <br />For me, the wedding planning was stressful, the wedding itself was the most stressful day of my entire life and you could not pay me enough to relive that dreadful day. I am however so happy that I am married to my best friend and love of my life. <br />It sounds like you are on the right track. You have sooo much done already. Not having a bridal party will save a ton of money and stress. Seems like you’re doing great. I guess it really all depends. Every situation is different. Let us know in a few months if you feel the stress!

Post # 9
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

prahajess:  we might have one! My FI is in a bagpipe band so we thought it might be cool to ask one of them to play after the ceremony.

ne11y23:  for me, planning is stressful because we have to travel to do it. Right now it’s only an hour away, but we we live in the city and have street parking so I had having to find parking when we get home. We’re moving soon, and will have a 2 hour drive, but have assigned parking (so that’s the tradeoff). I’m also in grad school right now so I don’t really have the time to travel to meet with vendors or do any shopping (graduating soon though).

Post # 10
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

pineapplez17:  OMG, a bagpipe band is my FI’s DREAM. We will probably have one, if we can find anyone to play, b/c it’s really the only thing he’s asked for. 😀

Post # 11
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

ne11y23:  I’m guessing it’s because you’re not having a bridal party. Smart move! 

Post # 12
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

prahajess:  do it! Or at least get a solo player. Just look up bands in the area, I’m sure there are individuals you could hire (and let’s be honest, one player is loud enough lol). Some of FI’s bandmates do weddings. We’re hoping we can get one of them for free since he plays with them (and then of course invite them to the wedding after).

Post # 13
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I stress myself out, I want everything to go how it is planned in my head. I worry about my guest impression.  Silly things to get stressed over. You may get a little more stressed closer to the day,  you have done (what I think)  the fun easy stuff.

Post # 14
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City Winery New York, NY

ne11y23:  it sounds like you really have a lot covered. That is awesome! I haven’t found the planning per se stressful (other than choosing a venue, but that’s because we had three amazing options and I had a hard time picking). But I’ve found it stressful to keep all the other “balls in the air” while doing the hard core planning. I am the maid of honor in my best friends wedding, so I’ve planned her bachelorette and wedding shower while trying to plan my wedding. I have a super-demanding job that I can’t let slip in favor of viewing venues or meeting with vendors. I’m an active volunteer in our city and the New York Junior League, which I can’t just set aside to make wedding planning a priority. Then, the icing on the cake is I’m trying so hard to involve my family as much as possible, but they live thousands of miles away. 

Whew… Sorry, that turned into more of a vent than I meant it to become.  But you get the picture? I’m super jealous of everything you have checked off your list. I definitely hope my life slows down this summer and I can catch up. 🙂

Best,

L

Post # 15
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Well, you don’t have divorced parents who don’t speak to each other for one…or a stepmom who’s the same age as your FI…or have to meet 100 of your FI’s friends and relatives on the day of the wedding (we met aboard and have been living abroad so I don’t know his friends and family very well)…or have to plan a wedding from halfway across the world LOL. Thank your lucky stars that things are going so well for you!

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