Post # 1
People have been saying that planning my wedding should be the best time of my life. I feel terrible saying this, but I have found planning my wedding to be more stressful then fun. Between the crazy high (unexpected) cost of it, family members causing drama, FI and I not seeing eye to eye as to what we want at the wedding and the fights we have gotten into since we started planning this (we never used to fight – ever), I am no longer enjoying planning it.
Has anyone found the process of planning a wedding to be more stressful then fun, or am I the only one?
Post # 3
@AlmostHisWife: I’m sorry you feel like that, but I think it’s quite normal – especially when you’re getting closer to the wedding.
Some parts of my wedding planning has been awfully stressful – booking the flight tickets (and thinking about the flight…), dealing with legal stuff, FMIL drama, my grandma turning out to be unexpectedly difficult, venue and catering changes… Yes, I’ve wanted to cancel everything, elope and save the money! Then again, I’ve really LOVED some parts of the wedding prep – like being here on the bee, working with the stationary, coming up with ideas together with my FI…
So at this point I feel very ambivalent, and I really hope I’ll come out on the other side feeling like it was worth it!
Post # 4
@eocenia – I am hoping that I come out feeling like it was worth it as well. Right now I feel like I wish we would have eloped and saved myself from all of this, and that really pains me to say. 🙁
Post # 5
Some of what’s made it unenjoyable has been the unexpected anxiety over being the center of attention. Turns out I do not enjoy being in that boat as much as I thought I would. But at the end of the day we are getting married around strangers (yay! people we will literally never see again!) so that has subsided a bit. Also, after having epic arguments over the place we were going, FI and I are enjoying planning and such now. I think for most bride it goes in cycles.
Post # 6
Yep, it’s not fun for me at all. Mostly because we have a very limited budget and I keep trying to find options that never seem to pan out. It’s disappointing. Our wedding is July 26th and we don’t have a reception planned. At this point, I’d be kind of surprised if we did anything.
We may take a trip last minute, but that seems like a slim possibility as well. Oh economy, how I loathe you!
Post # 7
I definitely felt that way, I didn’t enjoy planning at all, it was so annoying and stressful. I was literally just thinking today about how my husband and I have not had a real arguement since he was my fiance. It’s been nice. 🙂 Just stick through it, it’ll be the best feeling on your wedding day and then afterward you will feel great.
Post # 8
I have to agree with you. I never wanted a big wedding, because this is my second wedding. It is my fiances first wedding, so he really wanted his family there. Which was okay, because I love a good party. But, the planning has mostly fell on my plate, which is stressful. I don’t think it’s fun, I think it’s tedious. There are a lot of moving parts and things to organize. I am sure I will have a blast on my wedding day, and be really happy we did it… but for right now, I am with you. No fun. A lot of stress and anxiety.
Post # 9
I totally understand. My stress is coming from the narrow budget and trying to fit certain basic things into it. DYI for certain things is out of the question because I don’t have any help and I can’t do it ALL alone.
Post # 10
Yep – never wanted to be a bride, yet here I am, a bride to be with a 225+ guestlist!
Post # 11
Yes! I feel the same way and can’t wait for it to be over. I’m paying for the entire wedding & honeymoon myself & have had such little help from my bms. i get so frustrated spending all this time and money on details like chair sashes and candles etc. Im so ready to go back to a normal life where I don’t spend every moment on wedding crap!
Post # 12
I’ve definitely had my moments.
While most of the planning was a lot of fun for me, and not very stressful since we had a 2 year engagement, over the last few months I’ve had more bad moments than good.
We are 4 months away and I am kind of freaking out. I am still excited for our big wedding, seeing all my relatives and friends, and marrying my fiance, but I am spazzing over money, timelines, dress fittings, not being able to afford a limo, that sort of thing.
I find myself so distracted and anxious that I can’t make a simple decision – like what kind of package to put my favors in. UGH! It’s in-sane.
All I can say is it’s normal.
Do you have bridesmaids who can help take the pressure off or make it more fun? Or friends or relatives?
Whenever I’m spazzing, I call one of my fabulous BMs and they come to the rescue, which helps a TON.
Hang in there! Try to look at the positives and take breaks when you can.
Post # 13
I hated it so much that I said “Screw this, I’m going to the courthouse.” We got married with just our witnesses and are a having a summer reception/party to celebrate (still sucks to plan, but sucks less than a wedding).
Post # 14
I’m very much over it and tired of dealing with everything. This would be ok if everything was planned and taken care of buuuut i still have a little over 4 months and still have projects left to do. Not to mention a FMIL who is turning the bridal shower into something all about her. A MOH and BM who live 12 hours away and won’t even come to my shower and my mom is on the otherside of the U.S. who gets jealous about me living with FMIL. Oh and a dress that is just a snug too tight.
I’m so terrified that my wedding is going to be a trainwreck that I don’t want to bother planning it anymore. Hopefully this changes very soon!
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Wedding planning hasn’t been fun.. after dress shopping. It got really real once we were selecting venues.
+1 on Family causing drama.
My mom hasn’t been quite cooperative either; she is trying to persuade me to change the venue from the Rocky Mountains (destination wedding) to Edmonton, so that it won’t be an inconvenience for her brother/my uncle and my other relatives. She went from “You won’t need to follow any of our traditional wedding customs since you’re having a white wedding” to “you NEED to respect a 5000+ year tradition”. I had initially told her that we wanted something fun and casual; so we are making our own traditions. Nope, that’s out the window now. Apparently, she uses being menopausal as a crutch and so, everyone has to do things her way (to an exact tee) or she gets really unhappy and depressed. So, now my mom wants to visit me in the next few months, living with my FI and me to help me plan the wedding. (Uh, help? I love my ma, but how do I say no?)
FI is working out of town weeks at a time, so it is difficult to plan unless we sent each other emails. With him being out of town, I have to take care of mowing the lawn; etc, on top of working full-time and studying towards a designation on the side. So, when my parents want to indulge me in wedding planning talks, it eats up my sleeping time as there’s a 14 hours time-zone difference between them and myself. I’m just exhausted with having to answer to so many people and so many questions, anything wedding related….
Post # 16
@AlmostHisWife: I am not having nearly as much fun as I imagined I would. There have been dozens of times I’ve thought we should just elope. There are so many magnified issues once the planning starts. I’ve just started saying “not my problem.” It’s helpful for a second until I remember it is my problem… 🙁