Wedding planning talk: How do you know when it gets annoying to others?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@leenh78:  Unless what you have to say is really important and involves your MOH, don’t talk about it if you can help it. Not every wedding e-mail warrants a response IMHO. It’s hard not to talk about your wedding because that is pretty much the center of your busy days, but if it doesn’t pertain to them or can wait until closer, don’t burden them.

Post # 5
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The problem is that while your wedding is, not surprisingly, occupying every waking moment for you right now, the same isn’t the case for everyone else. You almost certainly aren’t being rejected but there’s a limit to the number of wedding emails that anyone else can reasonably be expected to jump to and answer immediately given that they’ll have their own lives away from your wedding to contend with.

Post # 6
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yep! I get what you mean about the rejection thing.  But try not to take it too hard.  They could see an email read it, really like what you have to say, but they get distracted by something and forget to answer. I know that happens to me all the time but I still might get upset when someone does it to me.

Are you asking specific questions, or just sharing? If you really want an opinion, ask them a question like “do you think this would look good?” or “which of these do you prefer because I can’t decide!”  If you don’t need their input really, maybe just catch them up at some point when you’re together and then I’m sure you’ll get lots of “ooohs, that’s so pretty!”

But of course, no one is going to care as much about the details as you.  On the day of, just trust that they will come together and be appreciated!

Post # 7
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

YES!!!! My SIL’s wedding is coming up and she sometimes sends me 5 emails a day about it. On top of calls and texts. I know she is super excited, but it’s her day not mine and I dont need/want to hear about every last detail.

So, I have stopped responding to 95% of her emails. It’s just too much for me.

Post # 8
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I dont bring up wedding stuff unless I am asked. My wedding is 3 months away.

Post # 10
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m less than a month away and I don’t talk about it too much unless other people ask. Honestly, they might think it is a little annoying. Why not bring it up gently with one of them?

Post # 11
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How often are you typically sending emails?  Honestly if it’s more than once a week (even that is pushing it in my mind) then you probably are sending them a lot of emails that could just be rolled into one if they need an update.

As for the not responding thing, some people just don’t answer.  I have been on both sides of this and the best way to handle it is to just not take it personally.  Unless you need something from one person specifically, most people I know tend not to respond via email for personal stuff.

Post # 12
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

@leenh78:  I’m being honest here, but most bridesmaids could care less about your table numbers or response cards. They dont need to be included in any decision making (except for their dress) and sending them emails about it is just annoying.

Post # 13
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I hate to say this but if I got a series of emails about table numbers and response cards I’d probably sigh. It’s great to keep them involved but actually, there’s only so much information about someone else’s wedding that people need. Probably best not to send emails unless you have a specific question that needs answering. You are much more likely to get answers if people aren’t already being swamped with narrative emails.

Post # 14
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@leenh78:  If she has a lot of committments, she is probably ok not being as involved. Many BMs and MOHs just want to get their dress and show up. Perhaps send them an e-mail asking how THEY are and talk about their day.

And like other PPs said they probably don’t care about repsonse cards or table numbers. Due to that response, I say yes, you are sending them too many things.

Post # 15
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t really talk to people (including my BMs) about mine unless I have something specific to ask them, or if they ask.  I don’t need to tell them unneccesary details.

Post # 16
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t talk about it unless someone brings it up first.

That makes me pretty sure I’m not being annoying, and also clear who really cares and who couldn’t give a crap. I can’t imagine almost anyone caring about my table numbers, but for those family members who don’t ever mention anything about my upcoming wedding, at all… it’s been telling.

 

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