Post # 1
Hi Bees! I have started the very basics of my wedding planning…at this point we have about 150 guests we plan on inviting…(75-80 being “my side”) however it just dawned on me that I don’t really have any friends..that are mine. Most of who I am inviting are “family friends” and family… I have a huge family on my dad’s side and a ton of family friends who I have known forever, since birth even. I have two sisters, and a future sister in-law who I plan to ask to be in my party. I just got kind of weirded out thinking about my lack of real friends. Is this a problem? I had a huge group in high school and then also in college, but so much has changed since I didn’t stay in touch with most. Just got me thinking…
Post # 3
@XmasBride2014: I’m with you on that. After trying to make a guest list, I realized that like 98% of the invited people are family or his friends (which do technically count as my friends, since we hang out, but he had them first).
I have 2 sisters and a future sister in law as my bridal party, as well. My maid of honor is my closest girl friend, but she was friends with my fiance first!
Post # 4
It will be fine. You want ppl who will be by your side that have always been by your side. I’m on the opposite. I had friends going into wedding planning but got married and only had one who is not related to me. Wedding planning brings out the worst in ppl unfortunately, and it’s even more unfortunate that these people are the ones closest to you. Do you have someone you talk to every day? I fooled myself into thinking family couldn’t be your BFF but I realized later that my BFF was my cousin who also became my Maid/Matron of Honor and I couldn’t be happier and dumber at the same time to realize my BFF has been by my side my whole life.
Post # 5
One of the main reasons we’re going away just the two of us, is because neither of us has a lot of friends, or any. I have a group of girls back in my home state I am excited to see for my shower in a couple of weeks, but no one here.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
If you have a “lack of friends” since HS/college and you are totally comfortable with it, to be honest, I don’t think it’s a problem at all! It’s one thing if you have a lack of friends and crave friendship—then of course, it’s time to reconnect (or connect with new ones!). I am in many ways in the same situation – I’ve lost touch with most of my friends from HS/college. I find that my personal capacity for friendships are kind of “all or nothing” – I like to be really close to people, but I don’t like “casual” friendships – I find them draining.
It’s just a personal thing, and the result is that you’ll typically find me in intense current relationships, but I lose my “weak” or “casual” ties pretty quickly. I’m very close with one of my college friends still; first and foremost of course we are very good friends, but a big factor is because she lives within a mile of me now.
All this to say you’re not alone, and that’s not really weird – at least in my book!
Post # 7
I’m in a very similiar situation. My bridal party consists of the few people I am close with (sister, cousin, 1 friend from HS, and then my brothers gf and FSIL) but they are all live in the opposite side of the state as I do. Makes planning my wedding kinda lonely sometimes…but at the same time, I’ve just never had a lot of girl friends as I am not into the drama that tends to happen.
Post # 8
@XmasBride2014: I’m in the same boat! It was hard for me to come up with a 2nd person to stand up and SO wanted me to come up with 2 more. I didn’t want to have my SIL stand up with us because I didn’t really know her that well. Almost everyone coming is either MIL’s family or her friends.
As Father-In-Law put it SO’s family is my family now so it doesn’t matter.
Post # 9
i hear ya. all my friends have been married already and none of them try to keep the friendship going. nor do i, but neither do they. so it is what it is. i have no one to delight in my planning except my family and my FIs family. oh well. ill remember this when ppl start getting pregnant.
Post # 10
@Mrs. Penguin: I agree! Casual friendships are SO draining to me. About 5 years ago, with facebook, etc…I felt like I was going out of my way to meet with every person for lunch, dinner, drinks, blah blah blah even if I didn’t know them that well. I was always going out of my way and didn’t feel people did the same for me. And interestingly enough, as soon as I moved (only an hour and a half away) I barely heard from anyone anymore(except for my sisters!!)..go figure. Also, I am so much more of a homebody now at 28 than I was at 20-23 years old, so I am not upset about it. It isn’t something I gave much thought to until I began the planning. Although it didn make me think about how hard is it to meet people in your mid-late 20s. In college you were forced to get to know others, now days..I just don’t meet too many new people! Thanks guys! 😉
Post # 11
I hear ya. FH is a really social, outgoing guy. I’m very close with my close group of friends (seriously like 4 or 5 people) and that’s really all I have. I used to feel awkward about it, but I’ve learned to shrug it off. I get on well with FH’s friends, to the point that some of them are becoming my friends too – though less so their wives, which is weird. Other women don’t seem to like me much. O.o