Wedding Proposal LIE

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Lots of people do.  I think it’s important to find a way to “package” the story so that you feel comfortable – sounds like you did a good job of that.  Remember, good stories happen to those who can tell them!  It’s all in the framing.

Also, rest assured that as soon as you get married people will stop asking how you got engaged.

 

Post # 4
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think over the top, romantic, staged proposals are not that common and only get a lot of attention in this era due to social media and videos.

I think too many woman have been sold a fantasy by the media/ social media about how “proposals” are supposed to be and it’s sad. Be happy you have found someone to love and that he asked you to marry you.  Obsessing over “how he asked” and “if was good enough to tell others about” or being embarassed because it’s not ripped from some romance novel is ridiculous.

 

Post # 5
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I say “intimate at home proposal” too. He did it while we were getting ready to go to a friend’s dinner party on X-mas Eve. I was only in a bra and jeans, the house wasn’t cleaned up, the bed wasn’t even made. But when he put that ring on my finger it didn’t matter. Our cab ride to the party was surreal and everyone congratulated us when we got to the party. It turned into a mini-engagement party for us, which was really cool. They all thought he was going to do it at the party, but my guy didn’t want the pressure. He told me, AFTER THE FACT,  he wanted to do it at home because the home that we have made with each other is the most important thing to him (so why didn’t you clean up, dumdum? Lol) and he didn’t want that moment to be a “spectical”

Post # 6
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@BrideofGroomzilla:  Honestly, I feel kinda bad for guys these days because the over the top, ginormous, hyper-staged proposal has become an expectation. There’s nothing at all wrong with an at home proposal that needs to be dressed up. Your man asked you to marry him. What is lackluster or un-romantic about that, exactly?

My husband and I were visiting his Mom in his home state. He took me to a very old, historic church down the road from his house where his Mom and step-dad got married. We strolled around the grounds and cemetery, he told me stories about playing there as a kid, and then he proposed. 

No photographer hiding nearby, no hoopla or fanfare, and it was perfect and beautiful.

Post # 7
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

DH proposed at home as well, we had just moved into our first apartment together and had gone shopping at ikea. He wanted to take me to this out door skating rink we have downtown but I wasnt feeling well and kind of botched his proposal, so he proposed at home over dinner and a nice night in.

Post # 8
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@BrideofGroomzilla:  I had an intimate, at-home proposal that was 100% perfect and absolutely what I wanted, but it’s still hard to talk about it with other people, since it was such a private moment.

I also think it’s fine to have a proposal story that’s kind of a disaster.  So many of our favorite memories are utter and complete disasters that we look back and laugh at.  Some of my friends have anti-climactic, botched proposal stories that are completely sweet and “them.”  Your proposal story doesn’t need to be perfect for it to be good!

Post # 9
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@BrideofGroomzilla:  I was in his tee shirt with wet hair just out of the shower on the couch in our living room. “Intimate at home proposal” indeed.

Though he did take me out to dinner at our local haunt and put on the first movie we ever saw together, which was pretty awesome. But still. He had talked it up for MONTHS about how epic his proposal was going to be and all this (he had actually originally planned on writing a video game – he’s a programmer – and having me come home and play through it and it having all of our inside jokes and stuff and then having me go to our friends’ house where he was going to propose to me at a pre-planned party. What happened, you say? Work happened. They did a deployment on him from July until Christmas that year and he never finished it. He *still* hasn’t finished it because here we are 8 months later, doing another deployment until right before our wedding).

So yeah, given what was supposed to happen and what did happen, it was kind of lame. But he still asked me to marry him and that was the most important part, so I’m good, lol.

Post # 10
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m in the “intimate proposal” club!

Pizza night on the couch in ratty-ass lululemons and my greasy hair piled a mile high on my head.  Not my best look.  I wouldn’t trade my story for the world.

Post # 11
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My proposal to him makes a better story than his to me. Normally I’ll tell that story and then say he gave me my ring a couple months later and go into how special the heirloom ring is as opposed to how he presented it.

Post # 12
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly I love hearing all types of engagement stories no matter how grand or intimate they are. I don’t judge an at home engagement vs an over the top egagement. I find it endearing when I hear about the blunders, the last minute changes, and the unexpected reactions. What I enjoy is hearing the excitement of the couple as they describe their story of how they decided to spend their rest of their lives together.

Post # 14
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@BrideofGroomzilla:  I got a very un-romantic “we gotta get hitched” while we were sitting on the couch. No ring, no speech. After 11 years I guess he didn’t think it was necessary lol. Anyway, we are now happily married but I’m still waiting for a damn ring 😉 Maybe when we have most of our bills paid off. I turned down the offer for a stand-in. 

Post # 15
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Here’s a good one.

One day we decided to get married. No ring, No proposal.

It went..

Me: “Oh no, what are you going to do when you turn 26 you will no longer have health insurance through your mom”

Him “Lets get married.”

Me – “I guess, we’re going to get married anyways why not do it before your insurance is up”

Him- “perfect”

Here we are a year later planning our wedding for next year. I have told him numerous times that I dont need a ring and that if I was really bothered by it that I would buy a CZ ring and call it a day. Apparently he wants to propose to me the right way with a ring. But, honestly we have a wedding date set, a venue picked out, a photographer, Ive made a mock up bouquet, and I am trying on wedding dresses next month. We tell people we are engaged all the time. When they dont see the ring some people say stuff and I explain the truth.

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hollywood Proposals, have been around for decades (c/o the Movies)

Tv took them to another level in the 50s, 60s, & 70s.

Much Music, and Music Videos in the 80s & 90s

Internet, YouTube, Flash Mob, FaceBook etc to another level in the last 15 or so years

In reality, the portion of people who get these types of Proposals is small… they just get a lot of coverage when it comes to media… more now that we all have access, and things can happen & spread (go viral) instantly.

I am an Encore Bride (first Wedding circa 1980)

Both times my Proposals were intimate… and what I would say a lot of girls get… just two people who have honest and open talks about getting married & building a life together.

That doesn’t mean that their experience is anything less than wonderful… or  right for them

And some guys ask with a flourish, and some don’t.

First time we had been dating 2+ years, graduated Uni, and shared our Life Plans (work the summer, get our careers going, and buy a ring late August, September Proposal, Wedding the following year).  And so it went to plan.  We went ring shopping together one lunch-hour… picked up the ring a week or so later.  He slipped it on my finger (no down on knee, no BIG Question, or lovey dovey speach)… that was followed by a Celebration Dinner at a very chic restaurant.  And telling the world (mind you I had worn a promise ring for months… some people kind of figured out an Engagement “was in the works”)

This time round…

Mr TTR & I had been dating 6+ years.  We had a whole life together.  Many people we’d met in that timeframe who didn’t know either of us before, assumed cause of our ages (over 50 & 60) that we were old marrieds anyhow.

Both of us had had long painful divorces.  We were understandably gun shy.  By 6 Years I was far more open to discussing marriage.  So I put the idea out there via a Life Plan Talk (late 2011).  We agreed it made sense for us.  I said I’d like to be married by the end of 2012.

Then it was up to Mr TTR.  He told me he wanted to do it in his own way (the Proposal / Engagement… even the Wedding).  So I concurred (and waited patiently… ok not always so patiently… I was wondering at every turn when the Proposal would happen.  We had tho talked about my wishes for a ring… that we choose it together, or I at least have major input, as I wanted to LOVE it and didn’t want anything to remind me of my first marriage / experience)

About 5 months later we were on vacation in Myrtle Beach… we left our Condo to go for a late afternoon walk on the beach, when it happened.  Totally unexpectedly, totally low key, totally US.

We saw a couple who had obviously just been married (eloped) having their Wedding Photos taken on the beach, and Mr TTR said:

“That looks like fun, we should do that”

And I said “Really ??” … Surprised he thought that it looked like fun (he’s a pretty shy reserved guy with his feelings, and I never thought he’d want to marry out in the open)

And he replied “Ya, look into it for the next time we are here”

Hardly the stuff that movies are made of… but that was it… he was dead  serious.  And that was enough for me.

We continued on our walk, and he went on to talk about HOW it might happen, and he told me his entire vision… Wedding on Christmas Vacation (next time we’d be in the area) – Barefoot on the beach – Southern Honeymoon etc.

Not a magical Proposal by maybe someone else’s standards… but those words and that  moment will FOREVER be treasured by me… as will the day we FOUND THE RING (lol, took us 6 weeks)…  or after when we picked it up, how he ever so quietly / gently slipped it on my finger in the middle of the Jewellery Store and gave me a kiss (public kiss… lol)

And it was “official”… and we called up some friends “to meet us for drinks”… and sprang it all on them… we bought the bubbly.  It was fantastic !!

We got married as per plan, Christmas Holidays.  Mind you, we were able to alter our Vacation Plans, and get more time off, so it didn’t happen in Myrtle Beach, it actually happened in the Florida Keys (a lot warmer).  And we wrapped our Christmas Vacation – and planned Southern US Trip up with our Honeymoon (a Caribbean Cruise) and were able to turn it all into a 5 Week Extravaganza… which was AMAZING !!

Fabulous, Wedding & Honeymoon, and now married life.  Also all us.  Our life doesn’t have to look like everyone elses and that isn’t a bad thing.

Hope this helps,

 

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