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Gah, that is annoying, and I'll probably run into this situation in a few months. I don't understand either, how hard is it to say "no"? The guests situation is one I'm worried about too... Already a lot of people are like "Oh, I'm going to bring so and so, and so and so.." And I'm thinking "Hmm.. You don't realize that So and So costs about $150 each!". Anyways! We feel your pain.
ugh people are so rude. I have no idea why people don't understand that wedding does not equal frat party. This isn't an "invite your pals all are welcome" type event. So annoying honestly.
I am SO glad that I started reading these boards before I started planning. I will definitely be doing the RSVP:
Ms. Jane Doe [] accepts []declines
I have heard that people still draw in extra people, but I'm not sure if there is any possible way to be more clear. Without actually putting "see the names on the rsvp? they are the only ones invited. DON'T INVITE MORE PEOPLE"
but that might be rude. :)
I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this. Super annoying I'm sure. I hate when people complain about the cost of going to a wedding. Either you can afford it or you can't and if you can't then don't go. Right? I think it is especially rude to complain to the bride and groom - they have enough $ to worry about!
CorgiTales,
I put ()accepts and ()declines but they still put their name and guest. As soon as I received an RSVP with that, I had my fiance or mother in law to call to say uh uh no you can't bring a guest blah blah blah but in a nice way of course : ).
yeah I've vented about this same thing a couple times already on this site. add to that the fact that it's apparently considered rude in my family's culture to say "no" directly. So my relatives keep giving me these vague answers like "we'll see!" or "hopefully" or "Maybe we'll all show up at the last minute" Um, the RSVP deadline has passed and I need a definite answer!! If you can't come just friggin' say so!!
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Honestly, I just need to vent. The RSVP process is a nightmare with people including guests when it specifically just states their name on the outer and inner envelope. Seriously, you can't call to find out if it is okay to include someone and you just assume you can bring a guest.
Guests not rsvp'ing. My fiance and I have to track these people down to see if they are coming. Most of those we tracked down have said no and made excuses. There is no need to make excuses. If you know you are not coming, how hard is it to rsvp and say no. We understand if you are not coming but for goodness sake's JUST LET US KNOW. We are not going to bite.
Guests complaining about the cost. Okay if cost is an issue, it really is okay to say no. We understand with the economy and everything but stop reminding us how expensive it is for you to come out to our wedding. It really is okay to say NO.
From doing all this, whenever someone invites myself and my fiance to a wedding, I PROMISE to rsvp on time.
Thanks for letting me vent.