Wedding Reception 'gifts'??

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
5769 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Just keep doing what you have been doing. Most folks will default to bringing a card and/or a cash gift if there is no registry, and telling people who ask that you will have a card box will get the point across without making you sound greedy. You don’t need an email blast or anything.

Post # 3
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

UKbee: i’ll preface my remarks by saying that I am not from the UK, nor familiar with what is considered acceptable where you live. My comments are North American based.

You did the right thing. It is not polite to include any mention of gifts with a wedding invitation. Registry information can be included with a shower invitation, as it is by definition a gift giving event.

It would be just as rude to send out something now indicatiing what you want for gifts. You could still create a registry if you anticipate a shower being hosted in your honor. Register only for things you want. You can give your registry information if someone asks.

If anyone comments on the lack of items on the registry, you can practice having a line ready so you are comfortable with your reponse ” We have only registered for a few things because we already have a comfortable home.” You will likely then get cash or checks. Do not make any mention of increasing your savings account as that was never the intent of wedding gifts.

Post # 4
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague


Horseradish:  +1– 

You could also mention to some “key” people (like moms) that you’d like vouchers for restaurants or something like that. Giving cash always seems sort of flat to me, so if I were wanting to give something, I’d rather buy a really fab dinner.  

Post # 7
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

UKbee:  People on the Bee sort of turn their noses up at those money poems. Personally, I think whatever’s cool in your community  is cool! But it’s better not to officially ask/suggest anything.

When I said telling “key” people, I meant people who could spread the word if people are asking what to get you– not telling your mom what she should give you. Sorry, I wasn’t very clear! 

I know it’s awkward when you really don’t expect gifts or want “stuff.” But people LOVE gifting! The best thing to do is just embrace it! 

Post # 8
956 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

UKbee:  As a fellow UK bee, just though I’d back up your gut instinct about the money poem being a little ‘off’. I don’t think it’s quite the etiquette faux-pas that it can be in the States, but in my opinion it doesn’t come across well, however cutesy you make your rhyme!

We had the same issue of people insisting on getting us gifts when we’d already said we didn’t want anything. One tactic that worked with a few people was saying “Oh, let us have a think and we’ll let you know” – and then just not getting back to them, and eventually people just sort of forgot about it. I’m sure there’s some terrible manners in there somewhere as well though 😉

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  whybee.
Post # 9
6674 posts
Bee Keeper

I would just say that you appreciate the thought and whatever  they would like to do. I would never tell people you need help with your savings fund. That is outright asking for money. The most you can do is have close friends and family, if asked,  spread the word that you have most of your household necessities and are currently saving for a house. Emphasis remains on  you and your life, not what they should be doing.  Let people connect those  dots for themselves. 

The fact that you don’t have a registry is not connected to anything other than the fact that you do not wish to suggest gifts or in any way take away from the pleasure other people have in doing something for you on their own. 

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