Wedding reception plan – guests or yourself?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll: During the planning, it was more important that the ____________ had a good time
    The guests : (27 votes)
    71 %
    I : (11 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    3635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It was planned to my taste (I didn’t pick my mom’s favorite flowers…) but with my guests comfort in mind.  We wanted to throw a kick-ass party, which we did.  Obviously that included us having a good time, but if it was just for us we’d have been in Figi, alone.  All I wanted to drink was champagne but I paid for a full open bar for everyone else.  We picked food that we liked, since we were the ones tasting it, but with options so we knew everyone could have something they enjoyed… etc, etc.

    Post # 4
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I was more worried about us!

    Though it worked out that our guests were VERY appreciative of a wedding from 10:30am to 3:30pm… They got free lunch and still had their night to do whatever!

    Post # 5
    1793 posts
    Buzzing bee

    What was most important for my 2 wedding receptions and those of my 4 girls has been food/drink/music/comfort of our guests.  I can honestly say that we never had an issue between choosing the B&G and the guests because nothing we did was at the expense of either.

    I am a huge believer that guests remember if they had a comfortable place to sit, good food, booze/drink, and good music.  No one remembers centerpieces and off the chart decoration for long.

    My last DD is getting married next Summer.  She had big plans for the decorations and really wanted the “wow” factor when her guests walked in.  She has since decided that if she puts her money in food/booze/music, her guests will get the wow factor they will remember and they will hopefully have fond memories of her wedding.

    I also think that the wedding is for the couple and the reception is the thank you to the guests.  The receptions have always reflected my girls and their new husbands, and made their guests feel very welcome and wanted.

    Post # 6
    5392 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @mscuppycake:  If my guests have a good time, I will have a good time; so, our guests are very important to us when it comes to things like:

    The venue (eg not too far away; plenty of accommodation on site or near by for all budgets; accessible by both car and public transport)

    The food (plenty of it; and something for everyone (we’re offering 2 choices for the starter and dessert, and 4 for the main, and are catering for our coeliac and pescatarian guests throughout the day)

    The drink (providing way more than the average Brit)

    The music (string trio for the ceremony and drinks reception to create atmosphere and provide background music; band; DJ; we will plan playlists carefully to ensure everyone is catered for and that there are no lulls in the dancing (gotten to be experts at this after hosting dozens of big parties)

    The cake (4 different flavours all suitable for vegetarians, plus gluten free cupcakes for our coeliac guest)

    The seating (plenty of it)

    Provision for smokers (courtyard garden directly off the reception venue/dancefloor; at one venue we looked at smokers had to go down 2 flights of stairs)

    The seating plan; people will be sat with people they know and get on with; where a couple doesn’t know anyone, they’ll be ‘paired’ with people we believe they will get on well with, and converse with


    Having hosted/helped to host a number of events, from smaller dinner parties to larger parties (eg 60+ guests), I’ve got pretty good at it; and to be a good host you just have to consider your guests likes, dislikes, and comfort. Our parties always end later than anyone else’s (same crowd of people), and are always talked about for months (and sometimes years) because of the effort we put in to ensuring that everyone has a good time. For example, music is incredibly important in creating atmosphere; get it wrong and you risk people standing around, or leaving early.

    For me, if our guests have a good time, we will undoubtedly have a great time. So, the music may not be what we personally would choose (I would have loved a swing band), but, we still enjoy it, and know our guests will love it; so the night will be way more fun than if I said ‘Fuck it, we’ll have a swing band!’ and then no-one dances. Etc.

    My personal feeling is that if someone doesn’t care to consider their guests, they are better off eloping; the only areas we haven’t considered our guests are things that don’t affect them eg my dress/OHs suit/bridal party attire/decor/flowers.

    Post # 7
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    The comfort and experience of our guests was our priority. That’s what a good host does. If you (general, not specific use of the term) don’t want to be a good host, then don’t invite guests.


    Post # 8
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @lovekiss:  +1000

    In addition, I would absolutely not have a good time at my reception if I felt like my guests (aka: my closest friends and family — THE most important people in the world to us!!) were not having a good time.  Therefore, in order to ensure that I would be having a good time, I would need to prioritize the happiness of my guests.

    This is not to say that a couple needs to go way over the top and have multiple extras just to appease their guests (unless they really want to), but as long as adequate consideration is given toward their comfort and convenience, they will have a good time.

    Agree with all PP’s who say that if you do not want to give consideration to your guests, you should absolutely elope.

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