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On another Bee's advice, I started using Medi-Matte oil control lotion; I got it from Sephora, and while it's more expensive than I would normally use ($45 a bottle!), it has worked wonders. I have a lot of the same problems you do: oily, flaky, lots of blackheads (damn German grandmother!), and it seems to really clear these things up pretty well.
Also on another bee's advice, I've started using baking powder three times a week to tighten up my pores and clear up those blackheads. I mix baking powder with water to a mask-like consistency, put it on my face, and wait for it to dry. I swear, you have to try this! It seems like such a weird thing to do, but it totally works!
As far as the redness and uneveness of skin tone goes, I'd love to hear how other people have dealt with this. I feel like I've tried everything on the market, and nothing has worked.
if you have a sephora nearby look into Decleor products. I have the best skin i have ever had when i use them. i went from awfull to actual compliments!
I'm going to have to search for a Sephora near here and check it out.
@Mrs. Spring - I'm so glad someone else has confirmed that I can blame it on my German ancestors. They may have given me my blue eyes and blonde hair, but I wish they would have kept their oily skin and blackheads!
The good thing about oily skin is that it keeps your skin better preserved so you don't age as quickly. The bad thing is.... it's oily. 
I have had really great luck with the ProActiv line of products. They are reasonably priced and work well, and fast. If you go that route, I recommend using it only every other day for the first week so your skin doesn't get too dried out. I think you can even buy it at mall kiosks now instead of ordering.
I have German ancestry too! :)
I hear really good things about cetaphil. I used to use it and it really does make your skin feel soooo clean.
@Spring - This is true. My grandmother (also German) and mother both have almost no wrinkles, and my great-grandmother always had people tell her she looked so much younger than she really was. Yay for German ancestry! And I think I'll try out the baking powder thing tonight... see how that works.
@amandopolis - I've heard alot of good things about Cetaphil on here too. I'm seriously considering picking some up and trying it out, it couldn't hurt.
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have you ever tried oil blotting sheets? clean and clear makes some that i use alot, especially in the summer, to remove excess oil from my face. i think some other brands, like biore, make them too. they're less than $5 at drug stores. you just blot your face with them a few times a day and they absorb the excess oil. you can even use them with makeup on - it wont budge!
Did you do the baking powder thing? How did it work? I don't remember the bee who suggested this, but shout out to you! It works soooooooo well!
This website might be helpful:
http://www.consumersearch.com/moisturizers
I've read in many places that drugstore brands are usually just as good (occasionally even better) than the higher end ones. Also check out the allure magazine beauty awards:
http://www.allure.com/beauty/bestof/
both are very helpful w.r.t. finding great products at many different prices. My skin has different issues than yours so this may be of limited use, but I like Origins "Checks and balances" face wash at night, Cetaphil in the day, and a combo of Olay Regenerist, Garnier Nutritioniste and Elizabeth Arden for moisturizers and moisture serums. I always use a separate SPF, and I love the Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry line. (BTW, TJMaxx carries Elizabeth Arden surpluses...it's the same product though. You can also often find clinique products at places like the Saks outlet)
I also change between Aveda chemical exfoliant and St. Ives apricot scrub for exfoliation once or twice a week. If you're skin is really sensitive, I would recommend the clinique 7 day scrub which is excellent (but I wouldn't use it 7 days a week).
You mentioned you're using toner---what is its alcohol content? If there is alcohol in any of your skin care products, you may be hurting your skin. Alcohol dries the skin, and skin can overproduce oil to compensate. So you might be creating a vicious cycle of drying and oil-production. (There are, however, alcohol-free toners, in which case my point is moot!)
I have oily skin too--mostly in the "t zone" of forehead, nose, and chin, and I heard years ago that washing with a gentle cleanser like Cetaphil at night and, as strange as it sounds, NOT washing your face in the morning (just a rinse with plain water) will make that skin less oily, and it really worked for me. I still have some oil, but not nearly as much, and I guess it's something like if you wash off too much of the oil, your face overcompensates and makes more. So I haven't washed my face in the AM for quite a while!
I also use oil blotting sheets, which are great and don't make you look like you have tons of makeup on like if you just keep putting on powder.
dress_4.jpg (686.2 KB, 95 downloads) 1 year old dress_3.jpg (720.3 KB, 59 downloads) 1 year old dress1.jpg (633.5 KB, 54 downloads) 1 year old dress_2.jpg (840.8 KB, 60 downloads) 1 year old 
this is slightly pricier than you're looking for, and i don't know if there's a store near you, but i use products from Lush when i'm looking to splurge a little, and i think they're *amazing.* they mostly use natural, organic ingredients. in particular, i get really great results from their masks. i use brazened honey and love lettuce, but the salespeople are very well-trained and can point you towards a good one for your skin type. masks are about $10 for a container, and you get 4-6 uses per container.
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chelseamorning - I totally agree - I am also German have "trouble" skin. I've suffered with oily skin and blackheads...yet at the same time I had dry flaky skin somehow. I would not moisturize because I thought that would be horrible and make it more oily.
however...
a few months ago I read online that depriving your skin of moisture makes it produce to more to compensate for the dryness so I decided to start moisturizing - using a light one during the day and a heavier one at night. :-D My skin has improved like 500% since doing this - I think my skin was thirsty and just irritated from all of the drying products I was using on it. It looks so much healthier. Another thing - don't pick at pimples!
Try moisturizing and see what happens. I use Clinique daily moisturizer during the day and then a heavier cream moisturizer that I picked up at Ross one day.
Good luck :)
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Hey Bees-
Pengy's post have me really motivated to do something about my skin for wedding. I know if I don't start, it'll get to late to really do anything. The problem is, I can't afford anything nearly as nice as systems like hers. How I wish I could! But I'm a full time student, so I'm trying to save every bit that doesn't get spent on groceries, school, etc. I'm looking for recommendations of drugstore or equivalently priced products that you've seen good results from or can recommend.
About my skin: (Caution, this may seem like TMI for some people. Sorry if I gross you out.) My main problem is that it's oily. My mom says it comes from my very German grandfather on her side... He's had problems with it all his life as well as my mom and my brothers. I don't get much in the way of acne (thankfully) except for the occasional pimple. Although my skin is super oily, it gets dried out and flaky pretty easily, especially around my nose and between my eyebrows. It's also red and uneven most of the time along with small bumps everywhere. The thing that really bothers me is my blackheads (or black pores...). On my nose it seems like every pore is huge and black. It seems like I've tried everything to get rid of them and nothing works! I also have huge dark rings under my eyes, I've always had them wether I'm tired or not.
What I'm currently using: Noxema citrus scrub. (I've tried all different brands, and some just seem to make me break out worse. I'm not sure this is really helping, but it's not making it worse) Aveeno Positively Radiant Moisturizer w/ SPF (I've been using moisturizer for as long as I can remember, and I can tell this makes a difference.) Noxema Blackhead Scrubbing Pads (I use on my nose/forehead every other day because the make me really red/pealing.) Neutrogena Toner (To try to help with the oily-ness). When I use concealer/foundation I use Neutrogena skin clearing concealer, under-eye cream, and visibly even foundation. (I'm partial to that brand, lol)
Sorry it was so long, and thanks in advance for any suggestions! I really appreciate it!