Post # 1
This is my first post, but wanted to see if anyone had any advice. After my fiance and I get married, within a month, we will be moving from California to Chicago so he can start a PhD program. We are both almost 30 and have most the things we need to start a life together, including all the kitchen ware we could ever need and furniture, etc. What we don’t have, though, is money for a honeymoon and we are worried about how will get the money or save the money to move. I know it might sound selfish, but I would like to have different ways people can give – I would like to have a small registry for things like towels, bedding, and I really would like a nice coffee maker and pressure cooker, and maybe some tupperware. We have put a lot of things together on Amazon which I know might annoy people because it means they must order online instead of walking into a store. I also wanted to make a honeymoon registry so we can go on an awesome honeymoon. We both wanted to go to Europe and tickets are just so expensive right now. A friend sggested we just do something local and save up for an awesome anniversary trip together. Only thing, is she was 23 when she got married and did not have her first child till 5 years later. My fiance and I will be getting married just before we turn 30 and we are not waiting 5 years to start a family. Most likely it will happen in 2 years. And I really dont want to be taking a “late honeymoon” with children. We also know we really wont have the money to save up for such an awesome vacation – my fiance will be in school and I am a social worker – so I am sure we will be living paycheck to paycheck. I think right now is the best time for us to honeymoon. In addition, we really need monetary help with moving. I was thinking we could do the honeymoon registry so we can honeymoon. I was thinking my bridal shower could be a “home” themed shower and instead of lotions, soaps, and lingerie I would ask for home stuff to satisfy the few items on my regsitry – and then lastly put out a suitcase or something else to symbolize that we are moving away, and write a cute poem saying how we need help moving. Is it selfish to want all 3 – a registry for items, a registry for honeymoon, and help with moving? I am afraid that if we ask for just cash to try to cover everything, we will only get enough to cover one thing we need/want. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
I don’t really think it’s fair to expect your guests to fund a honeymoon that you can’t afford or to cover your move. Sure, it’s great if they want to help, but it seems a little entitled IMO to expect that of them. I would just leave it at the small registry and then have your family spread the word that you’re saving for a honeymoon & moving.
If you don’t get enough money to cover what you need/want, then that’s life. Guests will give what they want to and what they can afford, there’s no way to coerce them into doing otherwise.
Post # 4
Small registry = good idea. Showers are typically for homegoods so there’s nothing wrong with that. Also, a small registry is a subtle hint that you have everything you need and that if the guest would like to give you a gift, money is what is most appreciated.
Honeymoon registry = maybe a good idea. This is a hot topic. Some people don’t mind them and others do. Personally, I don’t like them. You’d really have to know your guests to decide if it would go over well. If they are more tradition, I advise not doing one. Also, if you do go with one, DO NOT count on it to fund 100% of your Honeymoon and definitely don’t book anything you wouldn’t be able to pay for on your own. It’d probably be best just to register for extras – like dinners or a day at the spa – as opposed to essentials like plane tickets and hotels. It would be really bad if you only got enough money to pay for half of your flights or only a few nights in a hotel room and you didn’t have enough money to cover the rest.
Putting out a suitcase and asking for money to help move = bad idea. It’s never okay to ask for cash. If people ask you or your family where you are registered, just say you have a small one at X but are saving for your honeymoon and big move after the wedding. People are smart and will get the hint. =)
Post # 5
I’m personally not offended by Honeymoon registries, I just don’t use them. When I give money, I’d rather give a check, so 100% (not my gift minus a service charge) goes to the couple.
That having been said… Fiance & I are kind of where you are. I was surprised at how many of our things really needed to be replaced or upgraded when I started going through the registry process. So it felt a little strange to be unwrapping sheets or kitchen utensils at 30, but our bed sheets are see-through when you hold them up to the light and at least half of our nylon utensils are gross/part melted/etc. Someone even remarked how she was glad that we had really practical items on our registries. So yeah.. I like the idea of a small registry and a by-word-of-mouth-cash-preference.
Post # 6
I get annoyed by Honeymoon registries. I have 200 adult guests and we have registered for 45 items so far. 5 Items are big ticket items we know we wont get but we get 10% off our registry for whatever is not bought so we plan to get those items after. And the rest of the 40 items are $15-20 each or less. A small registry. I am assuming people will give us cash after seeing our registry has been bought out. I am not asking for cash because of this. I actually liked the idea of you asking for $ to help you move though. maybe send a poem about your move with the invite that asks for contibutions to a money tree ( I dont like $ trees either but I would think it cool if it was known it was for a move) good luck!
Post # 7
wanderable.com is the best Honeymoon registry. I would say plan a trip that you can fund at least partially yourself, and then ask for extras to be given as gifts. Some people are very offended at Honeymoon registries. If any of those people are my guests, they have other options and hopefully won’t tell me they dont’ like that I am offering, as an option, the gift of helping us have a memorable trip together we would not otherwise be able to take.
Memories are more important than towels.
Post # 8
we used depositagift.com and loved it. was a great way for people to contribute money towards our honeymoon and new furniture. we just didn’t need little stuff. for us it was very practical and made sense for our life and our guests totally ‘got’ that and used it. my bridesmaids got a neat idea from their blog to use it for the shower: http://www.depositagift.com/blog/weddings/ask-dana-how-do-you-throw-a-shower-with-a-non-traditional-gift-registry/ what’s nice is that they offer wording suggestions to help with the etiquette so you don’t have to worry about that.
Post # 9
You sound like the perfect couple for a cash wedding registry 🙂 Not all Honeymoon registries are the same, but one called depositagift.com is perfect for your situation. You can register for ANYTHING, not just a honeymoon, so you could also add things like your moving costs. We’re using it and setup was a cinch, plus their awesome customer service totally helped. Your guests really truly want to give you something meaningful as you start on this next part of your life and there’s nothing that beats honeymoon memories and experiences or making the move as a newly married couple 🙂