- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
My wedding is exactly one week away and to be honest there is sooooo much I regret already. Despite being engaged with a date set for a couple of years which I thought would take the pressure off – it’s worked out the other way for a few reasons.
1) I’m 7 months pregnant. I know you are supposed to be big when you are pregnant but since I’ve never really considered my face as being pretty in any way but previously been relatively fit I just feel like I’m getting married at my ugliest stage.
2) I also really resent the time wedding preparation has taken away from my baby preparation. My fiance didn’t want to budge on the date because he’s waited so long as it is and has friends from overseas who booked holidays to come to our wedding a long time ago. It just seems like my plate is waaay too full.
3) We decided to save money in preparation for the baby by changing our venue to my fiance’s parent’s garden. The financial savings have been great but the price is paid in guilt trips from his parents (despite saying they were thrilled by it originally) and in many hours of garden labour because it was pretty close to dead only a few months ago. Christmas dinner at my fiance’s parents place involved a lot of winging from my parents in law to be RE the wedding when in reality most of the work they are doing is all on their garden which they always wanted to do and we’ve helped a LOT. I am hiring help for the night, we have caterers book, i have time off to set up and have hand made all the decorations.
4) I promised a woman at work I would invite her to my wedding ages ago when I first got engaged. Over time I guess we’ve grown apart but I never like to exclude anyone so I still have invited her – and a large number of other people from work. In reality I would probably not have invited anyone from work if I had not promised her. I have moved around a lot unlike my fiance so I don’t have a lot of old friends and a much smaller family.
I had a hens day party – a zoo trip – last weekend. People at work preferred one of two possible dates but I should have chosen the other date because I really think they were just coming to hang out with each other with my discount entrance. All but four people ended up getting on a shuttle bus to an exhibit without me (there were not enough seats) and not waiting anywhere so I spent most of my hens day walking around, looking massive, wearing a stupid hens outfit ditched by my own guests. It was soooo embarassing! Now I’m kind of feeling like I wished we’d just eloped and invited no one. I’m dreading feeling like a looser at my own wedding.
I don’t know how to shake off all of this stress and insdecurity so I can look forward to my day. On one hand I feel like a bridezilla and on the other hand I am so jealous of all my friends who have simple weddings at venues, looking their best with at least most people there for them.