(Closed) Wedding Regrets

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

Well, I’m not married yet, but I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.  I guess the silver lining is that you’re married to the man of your dreams, and thats the whole point of the wedding right?  It’s ok to feel let down about certain aspects of your day, just don’t let it overwhelm you.

Post # 4
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh sweetie, I am sorry you feel this way. Trust me I went through the same thing. At first I was so happy to be married, and wanted everything about the weddding to be perfect so I tired to ignore the little things that bugged me. Then it all came back (about 3 weeks later) in this “I can’t pretend anymore, so many things went wrong wave.” Any then, once I had admitted it out loud I got over it. The pro pics came and they were gorgeous (just like your’s will be) and I remembered all the wonderful, perfect things about the day. And now, two months out, those are the memories that are left. I have to strain to remember what went wrong, and the guests I have talked to never even noticed in the first place. You will get there too.

Post # 5
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

There were some things that didnt go right, adn some things i’d change if i did it again… but im married and we had a great time so all the less than wonderful details can just fade into forgotten.

Post # 6
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh, it’s a bad feeling to look back on the day with anything less than pleasure. I’m sorry your mom knocked your invitations!

I’d suggest trying to think of all the happy parts of your day and focusing on that, even writing it down if you like to keep a journal or scrapbook/ album kind of thing. I’m sure you’ll be able to get a handful of really good photos, too.

I had some wedding regrets but I’m pretty much over them by now. I chalk it up to having such a short engagement and not really figuring out everything I wanted to do in time. That’s probably why I’m still hanging out at Weddingbee. I was really upset at the photos (partially my fault, that I just stood there and smiled instead of posed or did anything fun) and also upset because it seemed like DH wasn’t smiling in them. Well, I was only taking a couple of examples, and it’s not true, he was smiling. I was also pretty upset that people wanted to leave early (I had friends who came from out of town and left to go to the movies!!!!), but that doesn’t take away from the time I had with those who stayed.

Chin up, and hey – you’ve got the important part down! You’re married to the person you love.

Post # 7
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

In general, our wedding was outstanding and everything I hoped for! But I kinda gave up dieting at the end and picures of me clearly show back fat! Gee I hope the guests weren’t as fixated as me! Plus in some of my close-ups, I look really old and I can’t help wondering if professional make-up would have helped.

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

although we eloped, i wished we booked a pro photographer because weve been married for 2 months now and the pics are still in the stupid camera card thingy and people have given up asking about them

otherwise im blessed to say no other regrets so try not to dwell too much on the negs

 

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I just wish I had lied to my parents and told them we needed to be ready 30 minutes earlier. Then we’d have been on time =]

I bet your “flaws’ become more trivial as time goes on. at least you kojnw it’s not that important in the big scheme of things =]

 

Post # 10
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d be really surprised if someone didn’t have a SINGLE regret.  We have so many options in our life, and we are surrounded by photos of seemingly perfect weddings…it can really whack out a bride’s expectations!

I hope it provides some solace that, like others above, these flaws really do fade over time and you move on with the other parts of your relationship.  If photos are the main problem, you can always do a reshoot, too….right after the wedding I thought I would, but now I don’t care! (not that my photographer wasn’t amazing, I just wanted some different locations)

Post # 11
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Definitely…I think it’s natural when you plan such a big event and invest so much into it.  But please don’t let it dominate your memories of the day.  And as PP have said, I’m sure the negative memories will fade with time.

For regrets, I’ve got two:

1. I should not have trusted my parents to do *anything* on their own.  There are several things that I’m pretty sure I checked with them like 10 times within the last two weeks on, and they either didn’t get done or happened badly at the last minute.  The most egregious was the seating chart.  We put it together about 5 days before (Tuesday night for a Saturday wedding), but there were a few stragglers amongst my parents friends that they were still working out.  Well they said they would finish those and print out the name cards (I also put my brother on it).  I have no idea what happened, but all of the tables we put together ended up slightly changed (a married couple was put at two different tables)…and they were still finishing it during the cocktail hour! 

2. Our DJ was a huge disappointment.  He came super highly reviewed.  And he was more expensive than average.  But I’m literally astonished at how poor of a job he did.

But even with all of that…it was a great day!  We had fun, and so did our guests.  They keep telling us what a blast it was.  I’m guessing that they have no idea what was going on in the background (except for that couple that got separated).  And guess what, we’re married!

Post # 12
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I am definitely feeling this way about a thing or two and I am glad reading these posts that I am not the only one! My biggest regret is that I didnt spend more time with guests. I found myself dancing the entire night with the bridal party (which I dont regret), but do feel like I should have taken some more time to chat with people. All in all, everyone says they had a great time and they dont notice the few hiccups along the way. Am sad that I dont get to wear my dress again! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
20 posts
Newbee

I  absolutely hated my dj too.  he should be prevented from EVER  playing a public event. My  biggest upset is that the evening went by so quickly, I felt like I didn’t have time to socialize with everyone  or take more pictures. I wish I had a smaller,  more intimate wedding,  with just best friends and immediate  family. I was in LOVE  with my dress tho,  that’s one thing that was right on the money.  I still can’t bring myself to post it  for  sale. 

Post # 14
Member
20 posts
Newbee

 oops!  didn’t realize this topic  was like 3 years old.  I’m way late!

Post # 15
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@rizzlemethis:  

That’s okay! You got it started up again. No biggie.

I regret eloping in the first place. It wasn’t worth the trouble it caused with my family. We did it because no matter what we tried to tell my mother, she was hell bent on taking over my wedding. At least my mom knows what will happen if she tries to be intrusive-SHE WILL BE LEFT OUT.

I regret inviting people to our elopement. Them being late just messed up our day.

Post # 16
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I regret not having really clear communication of expectations to immediate family – everyone was over an HOUR late for pre-ceremony photos, and we ended up having to forgo a lot of them. 🙁

And also, half of my “decorate the ceremony space with the things in this box!” box never made it to the ceremony. No idea why. I’m MOST upset that the photograph of my mother, who passed away 6 months before the wedding, did not make it to the designated memorial chair for her. I have no idea why, the framed photo was the largest item in the box, but no one took it out of the box. I thought I was very very clear about it and am just so upset that that never happened.

Just goes to show that no matter how hard a bride plans, she simply can’t be in charge of everything. Irritating. 

I also hated my hair and makeup, which was NOTHING like the trial run. I still cringe when I see photos of my hair without the veil over it. It seriously looks like I just rolled out of bed (and then singed all of the ends with fire). And then drenched it with half a can of hairspray. My hair is one of my favorite features, and styles really well with heating elements. I have no idea what the stylist thought she was doing. So sad.

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