Post # 1
I need some advice. Today I sent out a Google Calendar event to all of our bridal party and our two readers. It’s a little early I know, but our rehearsal is at 4pm on a Friday before our wedding, so I want to make sure that people who need to ask off or get off work early have enough time to make arrangements.
The subject of taking off vs. leaving work early came up last night when I went to dinner with a few of my bridesmaids and I KNOW my FH hasn’t told his groomsmen about it.
So, one of the readers “tentatively accepted.”
She’s a wife of one of the groomsmen and typically works on Friday evenings. I think she is slightly irritated that she is doing a reading instead of being a bridesmaid as she is a good friend of the groom. I had asked him multiple times if he wanted her to be a bridesmaid and he said no. I’m planning on treating her as if she is a bridesmaid though…
So, my question is… Don’t the readers need to be at the rehearsal?
Every wedding I’ve been a part of the readers were part of the actual wedding rehearsal.
Do we tell her that she has to be at the rehearsal to be part of the ceremony? She’s married, so I would’ve thought that she would’ve known what she agreed to. Other than this, she has been super supportive!
Post # 3
Both of our readers weren’t at the rehearsal, since they were both coming from out of town. We had no problems – we just made sure that they both had their readings ahead of time, and our priest announced their names before it was their turn to read during the actual ceremony. Actually, the readings were my favourite part of the ceremony, because both were so well read – DH’s cousin, who did our second reading, even made me tear up.
Post # 4
This isn’t a big-budget Broadway production— it will be fine if one (or even several) of the participants don’t make the rehearsal. You’ve set it at what you admit may be an inconvenient time for some— not everyone can get out of work early easily– so you have to be flexible in allowing some folks to miss if they really can’t make it. I would let her know that you hope she’s able to make it, and offer to spend some time with her later in the evening if she’s not. Really as long as the majority of the group has walked through it once, it’s easy to fill everyone else in, and this is totally not worth putting your foot down over, especially if she may already have some bruised feelings.
Post # 5
Everything I read says that the readers should be there so I started to stress! I don’t want to make things worse. I’m also assuming why she tentatively accepted.I still feel like I might need to talk to her. Because she might be going on the assumption that she’s just a SO of the groomsmen.
Post # 6
She may have set “tenative” because she genuinely does not know if she can be there. Don’t over-analyze things. And don’t believe everything you read. Lots and lots of people have missed the rehearsal and the weddings turned out just fine. In fact, I missed my brother’s wedding rehearsal and I was a bridesmaid AND doing a reading— there was a wreck on the only bridge going to the beach town where he got married and I was stuck behind it for like 4 hours… not fun at all… but we survived.
Try to keep the right perspective. This isn’t a super-precise thing like synchronized swimming, and people aren’t so confused at how it works that they can’t be trusted to listen till their name is said, then walk up front and read what’s on their paper. Relax and don’t turn this into stress.