Post # 1
Not about the marriage! Just the wedding.
I had a very nice destination wedding several weeks ago, and the 30 or so people who came very much enjoyed themselves. The thing is that every time I reflect on the day by looking at pictures or the video, I feel like I’m not happy with how it turned out and I’m not sure why. I just look at each picture and think my dress wasn’t pretty enough, or my veil wasn’t in the right place, or I wish I had choosen different colored lanterns for the reception.
I know none of this ultimately matters. I am loving being married to my sweetheart, too. Still, I can only think about what wasn’t right with the wedding even though I know it was very pretty in the eyes of others. I’m not sure why I feel this way, and it bothers me that I do. It makes me feel like I’m not grateful or something.
I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this. I mean, I’ve heard of regrets about not doing this, but did anyone else feel overall diappointed… maybe irrationally so?
Post # 3
Sounds like there’s an underlying reason. Did you spend more money than you wanted? Were all the guests you needed there there? Could it be that the photographer just sucked?
Post # 4
Is it possible that you didn’t choose the right “method” for you? IE would you have preferred to have it at home with more people, or a BBQ or to elope completely?
Or maybe you are projecting your dissatisfaction with something else on the small insignificant details of the wedding?
Post # 5
All I know is, I want to say THANK YOU.
I spoke of the same thing (see my last couple of posts). It wasn’t exactly the same, I’m pretty happy with how things turned out. What I was going thru was a depression/grieving period that my “wedding time” was over. I am grateful for your comment that it’s not about the marriage, that you’re full aware the “wedding” is not the most important thing but the marriage, but it’s ok to feel this way after a wedding. Unfortunately I got some mixed reviews/reactions around this.
It is possible to have a wonderful marriage but experience these feelings and thoughts about the wedding. I have a wonderful husband and with all due respect to others, just b/c you have some negative feelings toward stuff about the wedding does NOT mean you are “projecting” regarding your relationship (I can say that too b/c I’m a clinical social worker 🙂
to be honest all i feel like saying is that. wish i could give better advice. just wanted to express my gratitude for your topic.
Post # 5
Me too. Love my marriage and my husband… though regarding the wedding, Im experiencing a deep remorse that wakes me up in the middle of the night and doesn’t let me go back to sleep. I keep thinking of all the food that went to waste and how I didn’t even get to try any of it and didn’t even tasted my cake after shelling out tens of thousands of dollars.
My husband and I are very happy and satisfied with the event and our guests loved it… hope our honeymoon will take that feeling away. Otherwise I’ll go insane. Anybody felt that?