Wedding scheduling problems (warning: long, ranty)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m going to be very honest with you – if I were you, under these circumstances, I woudl elope. There is no way this is going to get easier under these conditions. People will get over it. Any wedding you try to plan with these people will be fraught with drama. Elope quietly.

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d just pick a date (seems like early fall would be best, I’d avoid the holidays) and whoever shows up, shows up. Don’t stress about it, it’ll work out!

Post # 5
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Goodness, that’s a lot you have going on!  If I were in your position, being pulled in a million different directions, I would just elope on the weekend you originally chose and hold a reception/celebration at a later date.  It all boils down to what YOU TWO want for YOUR special day; I understand being accommodating, but there’s a point where you have to say “enough!!” and do what’s best for you.

Post # 6
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@zumbaista:  it sounds like no matter what you do, someone will be unhappy. Even if you don’t elope, it sounds like people will still be upset with you for something. I’d try to make sure that unhappy someone wasn’t you! Elope, and consider having a lowkey reception like a bbq a few months later, where you can invite everyone and keep costs low.

Post # 7
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you want, you can always get married on your anniversary date and have a reception at a later time.

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Double derp

Post # 9
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’d elope on the meteor shower/anniversary date (get some awesome pictures!!!) and have your friends and close family meet you out to celebrate later that day or the following weekend. Too much trouble, otherwise!

Post # 10
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You are letting too many people get involved in your date decision.  Does it work best for you and your FI?  Then unless any of the above mentioned people is paying for it, book it. 

Post # 11
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Geezle. That’s quite a conundrum there! I’m definitely not the best person to be giving advice because I’m a people-pleaser and I always feel the need to bust my butt to make everyone happy, but let me tell you a very valuable lesson I learned while wedding planning: You cannot please everyone. You can’t. It’s impossible. You can bend over backwards to be accomodating and you will STILL not be able to satisfy everyone. So there’s really no use trying. It’s really hard to put into practice sometimes, but the most important person you need to worry about pleasing is yourself (and your FI). I think the meteor shower thing sounds cool as hell and when I read that I thought, “Whoa! How awesome would that be?” Coupled with the fact that it’s on your dating anniversary, that would be a great time to get married. If that’s when you want to do it, then do it! You can’t please everyone, remember, so it stands to reason that you can’t plan your wedding around things that may or may not happen. I can see wanting to be cognizant of your close cousin’s wedding and not make plans that conflict with that, but it seems like everything is really up in the air right now. And if your FFIL is going to be an ass, he’ll be an ass no matter where or when your wedding is. So why not draw the line in the sand now? Pick a date and a location, and if people freak out because you aren’t catering to their wishes, so be it. It sucks, but that’s the reality. You can’t please everyone, again. It’s what you and your FI want that matters most.

Post # 12
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ditto-ing the other Bees.  Elope (or have an absolute tiny ceremony with like 5 people) on the weekend of the meteor shower, and then have some low-key celebration later.

Don’t cater to the people around you for this, especially the ones who don’t seem to care for you.

Post # 13
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Don’t tell anyone (unless there are a few trusted souls you want to know or go wtih you) and elope on the date you wanted to get married on and avoid all of this unnecessary drama.  Better to seek forgiveness for running off and eloping than dealing with months of stress planning a wedding with your families.

If you do it small can you elope at night during the meteor shower?  Maybe in a big field where you can really see it or travel to a nice planetarium and get hitched there.

Post # 14
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Elope or just don’t tell anyone when you’re getting married. As for the people who are giving you hell on when to marry – they don’t really care about you. Weddings are a great time to reconsider friendships. Even if they’re family, doesn’t give them permission to treat you like ****.

Post # 15
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with the elopement suggestion. It’s really the only way to absolutely guarantee you don’t get uninvited guests showing up, and as it sounds like you want a small guest list to begin with you could easily arrange a celebration with those closest to you maybe a week or so later. You get to keep your meteor shower/anniversary wedding date, your couisn and mother aren’t stressing about her graduation, and you don’t have to worry about FI’s family. 

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