Post # 1
We’re getting married on August 11th, date booked in November, save the dates send three weeks ago. Both of the friends’ weddings I’m mentioning below were booked/announced after we booked, and my friend knew our date before she booked her wedding for the following Friday.
We are planning for a seven day honeymoon in Puerto Rico; ideally leaving the Monday after the ceremony and returning the following Sunday.
A friend of mine who was my best friend in college booked the following Friday for her wedding, in a city across the state (five hour drive or $200pp plane ride). One of FH’s childhood friends is gettin married that following Saturday, the 18th. We aren’t in either wedding party, but these are good friends rather than acquaintances.
What do we do? This Saturday wedding is only like 15 minutes from where we live. Do we go on our honeymoon and miss both friends’ weddings? Do we postpone our honeymoon and attend one, but not the other? Do we try to do both? I’m kind of hating this situation.
Post # 3
Your wedding was booked before you were aware of the other weddings – not that they would have changed your mind. I think you would regreet postponing the honeymoon more then missing the friend’s weddings but alot of people would color me selfish.
I guess that is really the question to ask: What is the greater opprotunity cost?
Post # 4
Hi Ellegee! Tough, crummy situation for you to be in! I’m sorry to hear this, I would be so bummed if I were you.
If it were me, I would try to attend both friends’ weddings if you feel that close to them. Just like us, they also are only getting married once, and want their friends and fams to make it. However, people do understand that you can’t make everything, so if you have to miss their weddings, I would hope they would be ok in the end. But if you haven’t booked your honeymoon plans, maybe there’s a way you could still attend one or both of the weddings if you’re inclinded to, and push the honeymoon back or forward slightly?
Post # 5
Too bad they didn’t think to ask the details of your honeymoon.I would go on my honeymoon,write them a nice note and send a gift. Maybe promise to get together once you get back.
Post # 6
Let them know that while you would love to be at their weddings, you already booked your honeymoon, and wish them the best.
Post # 7
I think you just have to decide which YOU would regret missing more. I’m sure they would understand, as it’s fairly common to have a honeymoon right after the wedding, and if they were aware of your date before they booked theirs, I’m sure they were conscious that that might be a possiblity.
Post # 8
Could you just come back Thursday?
Post # 9
I agree, it boils down to what matters most to you and your fiance. I think sticking to your honeymoon as planned is a legitimate choice and could be made on a guilt-free basis. I could also understand choosing to modify your plans because you will regret missing your friends’ weddings.
I definitely recommend taking a few days together after your wedding. You will need some time to unwind and absorb everything together. Personally, I don’t think it matters much if this happens on a beach in Puerto Rico as long as you can carve out a little privacy. You should make sure you get the time/space though.
For various logistical reasons, we went on a 5-night mini-moon after our wedding (5-hour drive to an inn in Maine) and are planning a full blown “honeymoon” at around our 11-month-iversary. It worked well for us to decouple the glamorous trip from the right-after-the-wedding time to unwind.
Post # 10
@ElbieKay: I really like the mini moon idea! I think that’s the direction we will head in right now.
Its been great to hear your opinions. I was really curious as to what people thought about this situation and what the majority opinion would be. I think at this point, we’ll plan a mini-moon, then a honeymoon, and figure out what we can do to be apart of our friends’ celebrations.
Post # 11
How necessary is it that you leave ASAP after your wedding for your honeymoon? I would hate to miss two very close friends’ weddings…perhaps you could push back your honeymoon one week? You may enjoy having extra time to pack/unwind/send thank you notes, etc before rushing off to the honeymoon as well! Good luck 🙂
Post # 12
@bigcitybee: I only have three weeks pto and I just can’t imagine going back to work the Monday after the wedding :-/ I wish I had more! I’ll be using one day for my bachelorette, two days before the wedding, and five days for an actual honeymoon so it’s risky to book anymore in case I actually get sick.
The wedding is about an hour and a half from where we live in a really pretty and tranquil area. I’m thinking that we’ll stay there an extra night or two for a “mini moon”, then go to work for a couple of days, then go to at least one of our friend’s weddings and plan a real honeymoon for later. I’m very disappointed that we won’t get to ride the wedding-honeymoon wave like we’d planned, but it is also important to celebrate with friends.
I am bitter that my friend across the state planned for her wedding six days later, having complete knowledge that we’d booked our venue for our date…especially because she’d told me before that they were aiming for November. And I’m jealous that they get to get married then have their honeymoon right away like we would like to.