(Closed) Wedding Shower Drama- Is this ok?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t do it.  I’m all for clearing the air, but I’d do it in person – not in writing.  Even though it was thoughtfully and lovingly written, sometimes hard feelings go beyond rational thought.

IMO, If a person is going to get all bent out of shape as to why they weren’t invited to a wedding, they haven’t done any soul searching to realize they aren’t close to the bride/groom – blood relations included.

Post # 5
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with @oracle: My gut is that such a formal response makes it seem like a much bigger deal than it actually is. A simple phone call (or next time you see her in person), just say “I heard through the grapevine that you were upset. I want you to know that no cousins were invited, but some showed up anyways. I apologize that there was a misunderstanding” and leave it at that.

Post # 6
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Although this letter is very nice, I don’t really think you have to explain yourself. You invted who you physically could invite to the shower, and then you just had random people show up. Not your fault. Maybe if you see her in person you can explain that you sent out invites to close family and friends, and then some people just decided to show up.

Post # 7
46252 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I also wouldn’t do it in writing , I think these are conversations that are best held in person or failing that, on the phone.

Sending the letter may just magnify the issue in the mind of the aunt. She is also likely to show it to others as she seeks support for her opinion.

Give her a quick phone call and say the same things.

Post # 8
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i agree that this should not be done in writing – it’s way too formal.  In addition, since this is FI’s family, I think he should address the situation, not you.

Post # 9
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If you feel that you need to clear the air, then do so in person or on the phone. IMO, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself or the actions of the people that came uninvited.  This is a stressful time for you!  Try to enjoy the planning process and the months leading up to the wedding instead of letting people get you down and stressed! I hope this blows over soon!

Post # 10
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with everyone above. I think a letter is not necessary and it is better taken care of in a phone call or in person. 

Post # 11
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If you really feel the need to say something I would do so in person, not with a letter. Honestly these types of things usually blow over, so I probably wouldn’t say anything at all, unless she asked me about it directly.

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