Post # 1
Sorry Wrong Section, didn’t realize until after it posted
I don’t want this to sound mean or greaty in anyway. But I always thought that a wedding shower was to shower the bride with gifts and that is where the name came from. If you choice to attend the shower you had to bring a gift, price doesn’t matter (even if it is just a card, because that is all you can afford), but you don’t show up empty handed. If you can’t afford a gift you do not attend.
My question is my fiance’s best man and his wife came to my shower. (Our shower had both guys and girls at it).I have actually never met his wife. She wanted to meet me really bad, but when she did, basically turned and walked away, like she wasn’t interested in getting to know me. One of our most social friends tried to talk to her as well and she gave her the cold shoulder, as well. The best man and his wife came and ate. Because of the cost of the shower it was an cash bar, but we had a bowl of Sangria for everyone. When it ran out, my fiance and I paid to have it refilled, because my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law were paying and we knew it the shower was expensive. I was always taught you don’t go to showers and not bring anything and even if you can’t go you still send a gift, even if the gift is $5. My fiance bought them drinks from the bar, they had lunch, they didn’t bring a gift, not even a card that said congratulations or best wishes. Do I have to send a Thank You card to them thanking them for coming to a party that was thrown to honor us, when we ended up spending money on them at the party for drinks from the bar (not the Sangria, that was just to help my in-laws who went above and beyond anything I expected)?
Post # 3
I vote no, they dont deserve a thank you when all they did was show up.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I think you only need to send a thank you card to those who gave you gifts. Not sure what the real rules are etiquette-wise but.. in this case that’s what I would do.
Post # 5
if it were me I would send a card, maybe don’t explicitly say thank you for anything,but a ‘it was so nice to finally meet your lovely wife’ card and leave it at that.
Post # 6
No I wouldnt send them a card but who knows maybe there planning on giving you something bigger at the wedding. Many brides believe that bridal party members have enough expenses that they do not need to gift at any wedding event.
Post # 8
I would, but I like writing notes (weird, I know). I’d also secretly hope they had a little twinge of feeling bad for not bringing anything or at least remembered to drop their gift in the mail. Maybe they just forgot it!
My brother is notorious for his vapor-gifts. He swore before the wedding that he bought us this knife block. Fast forward to our two month anniversary and I finally decided to just send them a thank-you for the gift they did get us (which was nice!). I had of course thanked him already and said I’d send it when he had a chance to mail the 2nd part. Well… it arrived less than 2 weeks after I sent the card (which is about right considering mail to and from Texas from here).
Post # 9
I say yes.
But, honestly I’m more shocked at the cash bar than the no gift.
Maybe they are only bringing a gift to the wedding. maybe they bought it online and had it sent directly to you.
I say thank them for coming and honoring you, as you said.
Post # 10
Say how nice it was to finally meet his wife and you look forward to seeing them at the wedding. No need to drag it out. They should get a card because they did, at the very least, give up an afternoon to celebrate with you.
Post # 11
I send thank yous even if I don’t get gifts.
Post # 12
Yes, it would be right to send them a thank you note. A few people didn’t give gifts at my wedding. I was still thankful that they came, so I sent them thank you notes.
Post # 13
No, you don’t need to send them a card. but I also have no issue with them not bringing a gift. To me being in the wedding party is gift/expense enough and who knows, they may be planning to give a larger wedding gift. Guys just don’t really think about the fact that a good friend might really want a card for sentimental reasons so I’d let it go.