- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2018
I am stressed out about this wedding already, only been engaged a month and a half, not getting married for 3-4 years minimum.
last night my FI and I were talking about wedding stuff, ideas for centerpieces etc. He mentioned his cousin suggested we have her daughter as a flower girl…I had not thought about having flower girls previously, and I always thought it wasn’t ok to ask someone to have someone in their bridal party? aren’t the bride and groom supposed to be doing the asking?
on top of that, the other thing he said was that this same cousin wanted to be a flower girl/bridesmaid in his parents wedding over twenty years ago. They had a courthouse wedding, so they didn’t have bridesmaids or anything. She was really upset, and apparently is still upset about it, although doesn’t hold a major grudge or anything.
My concern is that if I say no, will she be upset with me for the next 20 years because I didn’t have her daughter as a flower girl? My FI doesn’t fully understand why I was upset, he said that he probably shouldn’t have told me because I got so upset about it. That just upset me more that he felt like he shouldn’t have spoken to me about something involved with our wedding!
But I understand how important family is to him, and so I am probably going to have her as flower girl, and due to that I will probably have my cousins’ younger daughters as flower girls also, bringing the total to 3.
Then my FI’s cousin has a 2 year old son, who could be a page boy.
And my FI and I have two male cousins each who we’re close with (although I am closer with my cousins than he is with his, I see mine every week, they’re like my brothers) who we would have as ushers possibly.
Then I want his sister to be involved by doing a reading or something, cos I am not close enough with her to have her as a bridesmaid.
I never really wanted a huge wedding party, this is going to turn into a circus, help!