(Closed) Wedding stress, flower girl drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Jacqui90:  If you are getting married in 3 – 4 years, dont worry about it. You wont be asking anyone to be an attendant for at least 3 years. Just ignore the comment and move on.

Post # 6
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ignore the request. Plan your wedding as much as you want, but hold off on choosing wedding party until 12 months out. A whole lot can change in 3-4 years!

Post # 8
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Plan quietly if you are going to start planning now.  You don’t have to bring your family into the picture for another couple of years.  Put together your inspiration boards and scope out vendors to get ideas on prices and what you two want-but you don’t have to have your bridal party nailed down.  Also, be mindful that your tastes may change in the next few years when purchasing decorations, dresses, etc. 

A lot of “thanks for the advice,” “we haven’t decided on that, yet” and “I have to talk to my FI about that” work at keeping the helpful inquiries at bay.  Hugs and good luck!

 

Post # 10
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Jacqui90:  dont worry too much its in 3 to 4 yrs you could always say oh well you wil be older and I am looking for a 4 year old (or whatever age) remember ushers and flower girls need to be small, petite and cute.

 

I had my 12 year old cousin want to be my flower girl and i though ohhh noooo and she looks older than 12 more like 13 almost 14. Like ahhhhh she was gonna look bigger than me. I am small. So I had to explain to her that I am looking for a 5 yr old. But it was hard in the beginning. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Good luck and stand your ground

Post # 11
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Jacqui90:  OMG I had the same thing happen to me but almost worse!!!!

I am getting married in July in Greece. I have a lot of family in Greece and they are all very outspoken. I have already selected 2 flower girls. My cousin’s daughter in Greece and our groomsman’s daughter in England. About two months ago, I was in the process of selecting their dress and sending emails to my cousin in Greece to see how she liked it and she told me that she was talking with my dad’s cousin (I guess our second cousin) and she (the second cousin) said she wants her son and daughter in the wedding party AND not only that BUT she also wants to make their outfits for them as she is into dressmaking and designing. I couldn’t believe it!

Luckily my mom and dad wer on my side, my mom even more angry than me about it especially since there has been other non-wedding drama between them and other family. We just couldn’t believe the nerve! haha. I didn’t want a third flower girl and their son is one of the shyest, unsociable little boys I’ve met so I didn’t think he would even want to do it but be forced to which would make it even worse. My sister got married in Greece in 2009 and apparently they were upset/offended that we hadn’t asked their children either for my sister’s wedding.

I told my cousin to tell her that we had already selected the bridal party and bought the dresses. We hadn’t actually bought the dresses but I thought it would make things easier.

So you could say that you have already selected your flower girl. Do you have a close friend or relative with a newborn or someone expecting or someone that would be a suitable age by the time you get married? You can say that you have alredy chosen them. You could say that you feel like the flower girl is part of the bridesmaids side so should be someone close to you. Or you could say you already promised ____’s daughter that she will be the flower girl.

But the other Bees have some good points. If you are not getting married for a few years yet, just ignore it for now. Who knows, maybe by the time you start picking your bridal party, you will want her as the flower girl.

But I totally know this situation. I feel bad as the children are innocent and its just thier parents so I feel bad that I got mad abotut the situation as it is regarding children. Anyways, I hope it all works out for you!!

Post # 13
Member
3593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

As PPs have said: I wouldn’t worry about it just now.  That said if it means a lot to your FI you should consider it, even if he didn’t come up with it on his own.

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