I like the idea of my groom not seeing me before the moment I begin walking down the isle, but realistically there’s a lot of set up that needs to be done before our ceremony (decor and such). My groom has offered to help with all the set up. Should I let him or keep with the tradition of not letting him see me until the big moment??
We don’t plan on taking Pre-ceremony photos. We have separate hotel rooms for the night before. I won’t be upset if he doesn’t help bc I will have several people helping that morning. I figured the big surprise is me in the dress, which is still a mystery to him, that’s esentially keeping with tradition, right?
Thanks for your thoughts!
Our venue did all of our set up, so we each stayed in our respective secluded areas while getting ready. It was wonderful to have that time to relax with my friends & close family. I am so glad we waited to see each other until the ceremony, since the look on his face and the tears welling up in his eyes was one of my absolute favorite memories from our day!
If you have enough help on the day, i would tell him not to worry about coming for the set up & see you for the first time that day walking down the aisle
- Wedding: July 2013 - England, UK
I am neither traditional, nor conservative, but there’s no way that FI is seeing me in my dress before I start walking down that aisle! If he has to see me on the day whilst I’m setting up, so be it, but I won’t be wearing the dress!
… seriously though, I suggest giving several guests whom you can trust one job each to do on the day, so that you don’t have to do anything on the actual day itself. If you can do most of your setting up the night before, so much the better. I will be giving out programmes to my guests (very important, seeing as it’s a religious ceremony and a lot of people are not familiar with what happens during a church wedding), and my plan is that a number of people will receive special programmes which also ask them to do a particular job.
For example: X, would you please leave the church as soon as the photographs with you in them have been taken, and alert the reception venue that we will shortly be arriving, so that they can start serving the drinks.
Y, would you please stay behind at the church after the photographs have been taken, remove the pew bows, put them in a box, and take that box with you to the reception.
1. If you don’t have a TON of help setting up on the big day, ASK FOR IT. I’m sure everyone will oblige, so you can actually relax.
2. If you do have to set up, and your FI needs to help, you won’t be in your dress, right?
3. I’m traditional and superstitious about all that too, but who’s to say it isn’t just him seeing you all gussied up for the ceremony. I mean, really, if you’re setting stuff up in your PJ’s, dirty hair, and no makeup, I don’t think it’s really “official”!
Me & FI are will be setting up our ceremony & reception areas [with the help of both sets of parents, and probably parts of the bridal party]. But total, we’ll have maybe 9 people helping, which isn’t alot considering we have ALOT of tents/lighting, among other decorations. We’ll have to start pretty early.
That being said, he won’t see me all prettied up in my dress before I’m walking down the aisle. He’s always been floored by me in my regular streetwear [he tells me all the time that he thinks he's lucky to be in the presence, <3 I adore him], I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees me in my dress! I will probably laugh because his laugh will be on the floor!
And to be honest, I can’t wait to see him all prettied up in his tux! He’s the shirt & jeans type of guy [which im perfectly okay with!], I think he’ll look awesome in a tux!