(Closed) Wedding Tipping Etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

If the venue is already charging 18%, i would not tip on top of that. Regarding your other vendors, I think you just look at whether or not they own their own business. Generally you do not tip business owners. So, if your dj is just an employee of a big company– tip. If he is solo– no tip. Although if someone does an exceptionally good job its of course always appreciated to send extra i’m sure. As for timing, I would probably put the best man in charge of doing it at the end of the night. 

Also, remember to rate vendors online. They live and die on word-of-mouth and reputation, so if you’re happy with a vendor make sure to really say so in a public forum to help get them more business. 

Post # 4
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

it’s a good idea to put each vendor’s name on an envelope and then put cash inside. give it to them at the end of the night.

i’m not sure how much to tip though! if your officiant is religious i wouldn’t worry about a tip. others are possibly photog, hair/makeup artist, doc. you don’t have to tip if that person owns the business.

also, even though the venue charges 18% for service and builds in gratuity, you never know how much of that actually goes to the servers/bartenders. it’s nice to give them a little extra cash if they do a good job.

Post # 5
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

This is a good question…I am wondering all the same questions

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m only tipping workers who live off of tips. Servers/bartenders/delivery people/ect. Anyone who owns a business? Nope.

Post # 7
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

@Miss Tattoo: I like this rule of thumb! Would you count the service charge (usually 18%-20%) as the tip for the servers? Thanks!

Post # 9
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

We paid an automatic 20% gratuity and 7% tax as part of the catering package. On top of that, we had envelopes made up with cash in them, and close to the end of the reception handed them out individually.

We tipped bartenders $100. each as well as the chefs who manned the stations. We tipped each server $50. DJ and photographer were each tipped $100. as was the driver, who was on call from 4pm to 1am.

If we had any complaints that night we might not have given out tips, but everyone was really attentive to everyone and we got nothing but compliments on the staff. You can tell who is there for the tip and who is doing an exceptional job pretty much immediately. At least by dinner service you should be able to tell and show your appreciation before the end of the night.

I know some people tip by percentage, but we kept the numbers the way we did and everyone got an envelope that night.

BTW…we had no floral delivery or setup, and the reception was a cocktail type with stations. Servers cleared plates and served cake, but were always available for anything we requested.

Post # 10
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@milesbella: Usuaully with banquet servers, they split everything at the end of the night. That’s the bartenders, servers, bussers, ect. I use to be a banquet server. If you are going to tip, I would suggest you tip each server by themselves. Handing the money to the banquet manager is usually asking for the server to not see it. You don’t have to tip anything crazy either. $20 extra to each person is awesome at the end of the night.

Post # 11
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I deinfitely like the rule you gave us, business owners no tip. If they make you pay a service charge… then they don’t need anymore money. I think I’m going to tip based on pricing. If someone is overcharging me for something… forget it. I’m sure they will do a nice job, but I’m not paying you extra on top of the ridiculous price we had to pay. Ultimately, since my parents are paying for the wedding, I’m going to let them do as they please. However, I’m not figuring tips into my budget.

Post # 12
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Like Miss Tattoo, I used to be a banquet server. I’m ‘that bride’ who asks my vendors where my money is going, especially my reception venue/caterer. I want to know what is covered in a ‘service charge,’ who’s getting money out of the service charge, and when they’ll get it (ours ran over a month late ALL the time). I agree, if you like the server, give them the tip personally instead of to the manager.

I like the idea of tipping service workers but not business owners, they’re already making the profit off the wedding. Unless they were amazingly-fabulous-above and beyond, they’re getting what they’re billing. 

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