Post # 1
We have 16 people who like they should be making toasts at our wedding. Below is the breakdown (feel free to skip the next chunk)
So my FI’s and my parents are both divorced, we both have a sister, there are three grandparents alive and we each have four bridesmaids/groomsmen. So If we gave everyone a chance to make a toast that would be 16 toasts. We like our guest so that is not happening. So first cut, only the MOH and Bestman make toasts, this leaves out both sisters. Second cut, Grandparents (No speeches from lovely Nana x2 or Gran). This brings us to 6 toasts plus our own thank you. That is still a LOT, concidering his parents… well they like to talk. We decided on this and are already getting comments from the family so we’ve decided to use the website.
On our website there is a link to our wedding party, originally it was just, well the wedding party but now its everyone. If they have something to say they can say it there. Grooms sister can write her two paragraphs and we will have her picture next to her post. Everyone is going to the wedding website to RSVP so they will all have the option to hear it.
Great, but that is still 8 toasts. How do you split those up? Can we have people make toasts at cocktail hour? Any advice on complicated families and toast would be so helpful.
Post # 3
I’m having ONE. Can you cut it down to one person toasting you, thanking all the guests for comming, and be done with it? I’m having the step dad do it for us.
I don’t like toasts at weddings.. and I would be bored with 8?
How about asking people to make toasts at the rehearsal instead? That would make the rehearsal a little more fun?
Post # 4
I had three- Matron of Honor, Best Man and my dad.
I agree with above that it seems like overkill. I would also have them make toasts at the rehearsal dinner instead and maybe limit the reception to 2 or 3 people. No more than 4.
Post # 5
I know its insane, sooo insane. I want my MOH and my FI wants his Bestman. My father is paying for the reception (we are very lucky) so he needs a toast. My FI father is hosting the wedding and cocktail hour, so maybe a toast at cocktail hour. I want to skip our Moms and have suggested they make toasts at the rehearsal dinner, but alas FI mother is, well, not impressed.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
the two dads
maid of honour
They kept them short & sweet and it worked a treat!
Can you give the others a different time to do a speech or reading: like at your rehearsal dinner or during the ceremony instead?
Post # 7
Is it a Canadian thing? I’ve never seen any more than the BM and MOH give a toast and a small thank you from the B&G…Keep it as simple as possible is my motto!
Post # 8
Yes, you can definitely cut it down! I’m sure all of your guests would be grateful. Plus, you don’t want to waste precious time where everyone would rather be mingling or dancing! Have you thought about asking some people to make their toasts at the rehearsal?
Post # 9
You might want to read this post I made about a month ago. It’s about speeches from a guest’s perspective.
It’s great that you already cut it down but maybe you could have the DJ put a cap on it? I’m not sure how that would work but it would stop you from being the bad guy.
Post # 10
We will be trying to get the mothers to do their speeches the night before but I dont doubt if we dont give FI Mom a speech she will just take one. She invited herself and came to Father’s Day breakfast this year.
Post # 11
You say your father and his father need toasts… do they want to make toasts or are you assuming they’d want to? Maybe the don’t. Or maybe you could each ask your dad yo keep it down to a minute or two. Also ask your MOH and BM to keep it on the shorter side. I would say no one else needs to toast though… I find toasts at weddings to be very boring, personally, especially for people who don’t get all the inside jokes with the closest family and friends.
Post # 12
I’d cut it down to just your maid of honor and best man. If any of your parents are hosting the wedding, they should get a short welcome toast; if not, cut them at your discretion. Any more than four toasts and your guests will get bored, guaranteed. It doesn’t matter if you space them out, either, people will still sit there thinking, “ANOTHER one?”
Your best bet is to designate someone (DJ, MC, whoever) to be in charge of the mike, and make sure they’re ruthless so that people can’t just keep grabbing it for more toasts.
Post # 13
Yeah that is WAY too many people. Ours was very simple and worked well – my parents were hosting (aka paying for) the wedding, so my dad made a speech at the start to thank everyone for coming. You may not be able to get around both dads making speeches if they’re both helping to pay. Then after dinner the best man and maid of honor made a speech. There is absolutely no reason for all of the parents to make speeches! And it’s your FI’s job to explain that to his mother.
And make it VERY clear to your DJ to not give the mic to anyone that is not on your list.
Post # 14
For those of you who already had your wedding, did you ask your BM or MOH to limit their toasts to X minutes? I already have a disagreement with my future SIL who wants “speeches” from his brother and best friend. I told him everything that needs to be said can be said in 3 minutes. This is not an occasion to reveal your personal relationships and that the guests couldn’t care less.
Post # 15
I’m sorry, sixteen toasts is waaaaay too many. Cut it back as much as possible, and have your DJ in charge of keeping everyone moving and have him also pass the mic around so only those who are supposed to toast get to.
Post # 16
That is an insane number. I’d be bored to tears.