(Closed) Wedding Update for those who’ve been following my drama…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow. I haven’t posted much on your situation, because I feel that an internet forum rarely gives anyone enough information for a bee to tell an OP what she “should” do about her relationship. But I have followed it for the past few months. And I can honestly say this is one of the most touching posts I’ve read on here.

I am so, so proud of you and your FI and the major steps you have taken to solidify your relationship. I believe that had you moved forward with your original plans, your marriage would have been rocky from the start, and probably made you both unhappy until it ended – like you said, breaking from those plans are allowed you guys to really address the workable issues you had as a couple. A lot of people feel like it’s only about finding the right person that makes a successful marriage. That’s one part of it, but it’s also about doing marriage right, working at it to make sure everyone’s needs are met.

I can’t imagine how painful the reactions from your family must be, however unintentional. That’s why a lot of people ending up marrying when they shouldn’t – to avoid those reactions, so clearly they carry a lot of weight. But I feel very strongly that you did the right thing, and your family will realize that and come to terms with it eventually.

Just wanted to let you know how happy we are for you, and how admirably you’ve handled this – truly an example of how to do marriage right from the (nearly:)) beginning.

Post # 5
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m not sure if what is important is that your mom can get over it…she needs to get over HERSELF.  The real question is, can you forgive her for letting you down when you need her support the most?  If she is not ready to forgive YOU for being a mature adult who made a very hard yet smart decision, then you need to continue on knowing everyone else who knows your story is proud and wishes they all could have the balls you have at least once in their lives!

Post # 6
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@anonymous625: Thanks so much! Yes, I am so excited – barely a month left!

I am so sorry for the issue with your mom. But at least now that you and FI are a team supporting each other, you don’t have to be strong alone. That’s how I knew FI was the one – they way we approach our lives as a team, no matter who or what the “opponent” is. Best of luck, and you’ll always have us bees!

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have been following your thread, and I just wanted to say that I am really really glad I got to read this and other women can read it to.

This type of situation happens more than we probably think and it can have such vast implicaions and reprocussions if you just cave and get married when you know you have these feelings.

You will have that time where you cannot wait to walk down the aisle and things will feel right! Don’t ever let pressures of pleasing people get to you. Stand your ground and build your love from there on up!

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