Post # 1
My fiance and I are in the process of looking at possible Wedding Venues. We looked at a church for the cermony, but aren’t sure if we were going to go for it. Then we visted a resteraunt where his brother had gotten married a few years ago and had his reception. It won us over. However, the day after visiting, my fiance’s mother said this is an issue because it hurts the brother’s feelings and is his place. My fiance and his mother got into a row about it. This is puzzling to us, as we had recieved all the information from the brother and his wife, and they seemed to be fine with us having a wedding there. The day of, his brother even told us to say hi to the owner of the place for him. Is it wrong to use the same venue? To me it is just a place, and as we are different people, the wedding is going to be different. We could try to do the ceremony in the church, but even that is an issue. Fiance’s mom was telling him to think of his brother and sister beiing uncomfortable because they can’t take communion; however, we are going to have guests who can’t take communion either so I don’t get what the issue is. To me I think we should be able to do what we would like to do. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Post # 3
Get married when, where, and how you want to regardless of what others say. This is your wedding and your chance to creae memories that you will cherish for a lifetime. A wedding (in American/western cultures) lasts only a day—and that particular day is all any couple has claim to. FBIL doesn’t get to forever keep a place as “his” and he needs to get over himself and stop being so selfish! If someone I knew/loved wanted to get married at the same place I did, I would be delighted to go back to a special place and make even more awesome memories there! FMIL needs to butt the eff out! There is no need for you to compromise your dreams and values because some of your guests won’t participate in an aspect of your ceremony. The world doesn’t revolve around FBIL and his ability to take communion or not! The fact of the matter is that we live in a diverse world and most well adjusted adults are capable to enjoying a celebration for a loved one regardless of religion or culture.
Post # 4
@Le_Faye: If the brother and his wife haven’t said anything to you, I wouldn’t worry about it. Even if they would be put out if you had the same venue, they’re being ridiculous. Did they think the place should have been burned down after they got married there?
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
It seems like your FI’s mom needs to remember that she has TWO sons, not one, and that your FI is the more important when considering his wedding.
Post # 6
@Le_Faye: I couldn’t take communion at the church we got married in (DH is Lutheran, I’m not), so I think that’s a silly reason not to get married in your church!
And as long as you don’t have the same decorations/menu/everything, I don’t see why you WOULDN’T use the same venue!
Post # 7
This happened to me. My sister flat out said she didn’t want me to get married at the same venue as her because she didn’t want to be upstaged. I didn’t love the place and only considered it because my GM suggested it, in the end I found another place…That I LOVE and couldn’t be happier.
OP If it’s an issue & you’re not attached to the venue then maybe you could find another place but if you love it I say go for it.
Post # 8
Did they expect the place to never hold another wedding ever again, just bc they got married there? If you love it, I say go for it.
Post # 9
Thank you, ladies! I’m still waiting for vendor to get back to us on price. My FMIL is still giving my fiancé grief over this, and insists we keep looking. My fiancé spoke with his brother who is confused as to why she is on us about this. He admits that he wishes he asked him first ( although his brother andwife were the one to give us the info), but claims the only reason he told their mom was because their mutual friend was nitpicking about not being invited to the wedding. I still feel like there is other things going on besides that,because why would you complain about not being asked permission based on a friend complaining he wasn’t invited to his wedding? My fiancé and I still feel we want to use this place if we want a good deal, and that no one owns this place. I just wish the drama hadn’t started so soon!