Post # 1
So I’ll try and keep this short and sweet. Pretty much I get married in one month, initially we thought we were having a ‘smallish’ wedding i.e. 150 people or so but unfortunately that is no more! FI’s dad got rather enthusiastic and I guess had also forgotten about the venue limitations(250) so I feel we’re kind of over that.#
However the bigger issue is that our wedding is supposed to start at 5-11ish, however where I live is HOTish and no one comes to weddings before 8ish(very unheard off) and I worry SO much that my day will be limited as a result. We have told as many people as possible to be there at 5( as we supposedly make our entrance at 6ish)…However now I worry since FI’s dad has invited a zillion of his clients they will die of the heat(alongside the other guests…!) and since we CANT make an entrance till all guests arrive I am SOOO afraid of having my day limited.
I guess the main issue is I wanted an outdoors beach wedding without really taking into context that most of our guests have never heard of such a thing esp bearing in mind that it starts early (probably wouldnt be such a big deal if we were allowed to keep the venue past 11ish). The thing is everyone is used to big hoo haa weddings where you dance till 3 am. In ours I feel, that people will get to boogie an hour /2 at max before calling it a night.
I don’t explicitly know what I’m looking for with this post, but I’m really starting to resent the venue. Worst part, there is some construction going on next to it! I REALLY REALLY want to change it…Worst case scenario we’ll lose the deposit…But am I being crazy? I don’t know! Help? It’s a beautiful venue(if you ignore the construction and the heat potentially beating you down…)
Should I try and talk to the dad about changing venues?! And if yes(unless I’m being mad), how should I go about it? I just keep having nightmares( literally) of people standing around with no seating and me jumping into the ocean to escape the heat ridden nightmare
H.E.L.P Like i said i don’t know what i’m looking for..maybe an understanding ear(eye?!)
p.s i know i failed to keep this ‘short and sweet’
Post # 3
I’m super confused. Did you send out invitations? If you put 5pm on an invite people would still show up at 8pm?
Post # 4
I’m confused too.. Are you even going to be able to find a new venue on a months notice? and then you’d have to inform every guest that you changed venues. I think you’re just stressing out and need to take a deep breath.
And why can’t you make an entrance until all guests arrive? It’s their fault if they don’t make it there for 5:00 as the invitation says, not yours.
I think you should stick to your venue and your time, and not worry about it. If people don’t show up on time and wait to go until 8:00 because it’s “too hot” that’s their problem (and I think that it’s very rude of them).
Post # 5
I’m confused too.
What time did you put on the invitation?
Are these guests invited to just the reception? Or ceremony too? Sorry I’m just confused.
Post # 6
ditto the pp’s confusion.
where are you that it’s THAT hot in early march?
Post # 7
Sorry for the crazily confusing message(even I didn’t understand it the second time round). I guess it shows you how frazzled I am.
This is solely the reception as the ceremony will be an intimate affair with close family/friends. On the invite it says 5pm, however…call it culture or being fashionably late, nearly everyone where I live comes 1-2 hours later (it’s almost the acccepted norm.
I guess when we first got engaged I was in a rather different frame of mind. We had had a lot of issues with out families in reference to our engagement and I just really REALLY wanted to get the venue out of the way (ease my nerves) and since I had always wanted a beach wedding, I jumped on the first venue I saw that provided this without thinking through the rest of the details. FI didn’t want to see anymore venues and since at that point I liked the venue and truely just wanted my persistantly ‘concerned’ mom to relax I booked the venue.
FI’s dad is paying for the entire affair so I feel it would be highly impolite to limit him too much.
In my mind I envisioned guests arriving 5ish, FI and I making entrance at 6ish( during sunset…again the entrance thing is a cultural thing)…followed by a dance performance/band…ring ceremony/first dance/dinner/cake and DJ/band.
Should I push everything back by an hour to avoid the sunshine between 5-6? Or just book another…
In a nutshell, between the risk of too many guests, the weather which can be unpredictable AND the near by construction…I’m just bummed:(
You guys I truely apologise if I still sound crazy frazzled just am sooooo in a state of BLAHHH! wISH i could turn back time and change the venue…I HATE IT:(
Post # 9
Um I would go about my day as normal. If you receive an invite for a WEDDING starting at 5pm your ass better be there and in your seat to see it happening on time. Being late on purpose is rude and I would not wait around for other people to show up.
Post # 10
If your invite said 5 and people show up at 8. Their problem.
You’re not going to stand in the wings till every single guest arrives. That is not how it works.
Plan your schedule. If you set to make your appearance at 6 then you make your appearance at 6. The other thing to remember is your venue/caterer has a set schedule as well. So you can’t just push things back by 2 hours and expect the same amount of things to get accomplished.
Have you contacted your venue about timing yet? They may be able to provide insight on timing and where the sun will be at that time, etc
Post # 11
@CurlyWurly:ah, got it. i understand the cultural thing of showing up late now.
go with your planned schedule. whoever is there by 6 will see your grand entrance, and whoever shows up late won’t. as long as the important people (like your family) are there on time, that’s all that matters.
Post # 12
@Gerbera: Well, the good part is even though it’s a ‘beach’ wedding, it’s technically still on hotel grounds and hence all food/drink provided by the hotel.
The other vendors involved will probably be used to most weddings starting late and will make arrangements in the occurance.
Just so SAD if my day is slashed due to heat. Even from my end I don’t want guests heating up…and gazing at construction…:(
Post # 13
Good golly! Where are you getting married that it is so stinking hot in March? BTW…((HUGS)) and take a deep breath.
Post # 14
@lilmiss26: thanks you:( im getting married in weather is goodish now but you never know. aahh so terrible but i really feel insecure about the whole wedding…the CONSTRUCTION on the side..im getting nausea just thinking of it…
Post # 15
Oh sweety, I can only imagine. Now I understand the culture difference and the SUPER hot weather. I think it is really too late to change venues at this point.
To be honest, I think you will be so wrapped up in the moment with your new husband that the heat and construction won’t be on your mind at all. If your guests are accustomed to showing up late due to your culture, then let them. Savor every moment you get to have as the newly, minted Mrs. before everyone gets there and you don’t have time to share any quiet time with the Mr.
Just trying to think on the positive.
Post # 16
@lilmiss26: unless of course my make up melts off before i even reach the site…haha…i kid! yeah you’re right, i gave FI such a headache about the whole thing today. he personally likes it, but i guess seeing me sullen with my face buried neck deep into a tub of ice cream as i retold nightmares of catastrophes that would befall us…didn’t really help anyone.
he said perhaps it would be wise to speak to his father about my concerns and see what his imput was…considering he’s the reason our wedding went from an ‘intimate’ affair to a …block party practically…aaahh…i’m just sooooo insecure that a venue i thought would be ‘fresh’ and would ‘defy the norms’ turned out to be such a nightmare for me