(Closed) Wedding Virgin?

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
598 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t even know where to start. I feel like I can’t be bothered with all the planning nonsense. I would want a small intimate wedding with only my closest friends and family. I don’t feel the need to decorate with centerpieces on every table and stuff like that. The only thing I’d really want is a nice dress and a decent venue. I’ve been to 2 weddings also and I am 23, although I have 2 weddings to go to this year (both of which are 200+ people, big weddings!) Maybe when I go to these weddings i’ll get an idea of what is important and what I could do without.

Post # 4
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When you get your first bridal magazine, there is usually a timeline in there, checklists, etc.  It will give you plenty of things to do!  You will go from not knowing where to start, to being completely overwhelmed!  

You could start thinking about what styles you like and what you would want your wedding to look like.   

Post # 5
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Seconding the wedding checklist! Remember that, aside from signing the license, everything is optional! It can be overwhelming to feel like you have too many decisions to make about too many aspects of your big day, but don’t feel like you have to do everything just because everyone else does it!

Attending local wedding expos can also help you get in touch with vendors that can answer any questions you may have about their areas of expertise. Plus, there’s generally lots of free food and the chance to win stuff!

Post # 7
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cmoest:  I think it is kind of hard to get started planning a wedding when you’re not actually engaged yet, unless you have some idea of a budget. So most certainly start with a budget. Sometimes it is hard to know what kind of budget you’ll be working with because you don’t know if your parents or his parents are going to offer to pay anything. Of course, once you are actually engaged and setting a budget, your best bet is to assume you’ll be paying 100% of the costs, then increase later on if you’re given extra money.

Once you have a budget set, I would strongly suggest guessing your guest list number. 50? 100? 200? 300? More? This will give you a good idea on where to allocate your budget (more guests means larger venue, more food, more rentals, etc.) Once you have your guest number and budget in place you can start looking at venues and try to decide on a date. From there, what I did was call a variety of people, florist, caterers, djs, photographers, etc and get an average cost. I asked them to draw me up a quote and used this information to assess reasonable costs. I prioritized my top three splurges and FI prioritized his top three splurges. From there we made a simple list and allocated our budget to what we saw fit.

For me, my top three things were:
1) Photography
2) Food/Drinks
3) Location

FI’s top three things were:
1) DJ
2) Photography
3) Lighting

Luckily my location is inexpensive and we came in under budget. Our photographer came in right at budget, our food/drinks are slightly over budget (but that’s okay because we’re getting yummy food and having a full bar). The DJ is right at budget, and we got a deal on the lighting so we’re way under budget there (FI just happened to know a guy who works for an event lighting studio so we got the employee discount of 40% off).

The rest of the list we made together and looked like this:
4) Attire
5) Flowers
6) Linens
7) Stationary
8) Accessories
9) Cake
10) Hair/Make-up
11) Pampering
12) Transportation
13) Videography

As it turns out, my attire came in under budget, so we have more money for flowers. Linens came in way under budget, as did stationary. Cake is slightly over budget, but all in all, we have room in our budget to wiggle.

Check lists are great, but sometimes unless you can really get a good handle on your budget and what is important to YOU on your wedding day, you can get overwhelmed. If you’re struggling with a budget, I suggest building a monthly living budget and seeing what your expenses are. How much do you have in savings? How much do you think you can reasonably save? How much do you want to have as a cushion after the wedding? These things are best discussed as a couple, as I strongly suggest that neither party make all the financial choices when it comes to a wedding! (Weddings can add up really quickly!)

Post # 8
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Stranger516 I think I am just like you in terms of how I feel about “planning nonsense.” For me the most important things are the food and music, ie. making sure that everyone has fun. But we are working with a VERY tiny budget (like $3-5000). I’m pretty sure my MIL is going to be making my dress, and it will be VERY untraditional. Like, colourful painted silk untraditional. Not because I can’t afford a “traditional” dress but because it is genuinely what I will prefer! My FI and I plan to do away with everything that doesn’t make sense or have significance to us, including favours, and a bridal party. I know, shock/horror!

Should I mention I have never been to a single wedding in my life? (I’m 23). One of my best friends is getting married this May, and that will be my very first wedding. I kind of like it that way; my head isn’t already filled with all the Wedding Industrial Complex stuff I “need.” A piece of advice for the OP – don’t let anyone tell you that you “need” to do anything for it to be a “real” or “proper” wedding!

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