Post # 1
Ok. So in my opinion this is the most ridiculous thing ever. But I need an opinion of someone outside the box…
FI’s mom offered for her and her sisters to do the dinner for the reception. I am so pressed for time this was like a god send. So of course I said yes. She shows me a menu with like 4 appetizers to choose from, three meat options, three salad options, four beverage options, dinner rolls, and two dessert options not including the cake. I told her I would ok anything that she thought was appropriate, but I would prefer to set it up buffet style so the guests can self serve.
On my wedding website I put “Dinner will be served buffet style”. FI’s dad is having a conniption fit over thsi because he says that everyone will think we are serving a formal dinner and that if he’s paying for it, its not going to be like that. He wants us to change it to say something along the lines of” cocktail style reception, no formal dinner” or something. But all the food she is offering is like a huge meal anyways. So I’m not willing to change my wording, and he is insisting that we do. I’m highly agitated and my wedding is in ONLY 23 days!
Post # 3
Appitizer, salad, and meat sounds like a meal to me! I don’t think your guests will be hungry or disappointed! If it isn’t costing him anything more, what’s the big deal? I’d say keep it how you have it.
Post # 4
Hmmm… buffet style means buffet style. I’m not sure why your FIL would think people would assume it’s a sit down dinner? Why even tell the guests on your website whether it’s sit down or buffet? It’ll be a surprise when they get there.
And, if you write “no formal dinner” and only “cocktail reception” people are going to think there isn’t going to be a dinner – only appetizers and drinks. So, that is a definite NO. Men don’t know anything. LOL! Keep it like you have it.
Post # 5
for me if its a “buffet meal” then you serve yourself and go sit down to eat it and i do not consider that a formal meal. cocktail is when i stand around while waiters wander past with trays of tiny food
Post # 6
just change it to heavy hors dourves and be done with it – you have real things to worry about rather than semantics.
Post # 7
I think ‘buffet style’ makes it pretty clear.
Post # 8
@elliestan: But it’s not heavy hor dourves. They are having a real meal buffet style. Keep it the way you have it!
Post # 9
Maybe he is worried that by saying buffet style it will be misconstrued as one of two thngs, 1) people can go back for seconds or thirds, or 2) that in his mind it sounds cheap…maybe you should ask him for more information on his feelings.
Post # 10
I agree that if you just change it to “cocktail style” people may assume there is minimal food and eat beforehand. But for the sake of sanity and minimizing stress in your last month of wedding planning, I would try to find some happy ground. Maybe something like “cocktail style reception with buffet dinner”?
Post # 11
I think what you have is fine, however are they making enough food for it to really be dinner? Maybe he knows something you don’t.
Post # 12
@MrsAlbright: I think you solved it! 🙂
Post # 13
I wouldn’t put “no formal dinner” on there… If he’s worried about sounding cheap, THAT sounds cheap (IMO). What’s wrong with saying it’s a buffet? It sounds like a buffet to me… Also, why is FI’s dad so worried people will assume he’s paying for it? Doesn’t the bride’s family typically pay for food? I would never assume the groom’s family was “to blame” or whatever he’s worried about. I don’t get what his issue is!
Post # 14
How about… ‘appetizers and dinner to follow” and leave the word buffet out of it completely, if that’s his beef?
Post # 15
This is why men shouldn’t get involved. They make problems out of nothing! lol I don’t understand his beef. You put buffet because that is what it is.
Post # 16
Is the reception right after the ceremony? Just put ‘Reception Immediately Following’ and forget mentioning food at all.