Post # 1
Okay, heres the deal.
Because of some immigration issues, my fiance and I had originally planned to have a civil cermony first and then have a wedding about a year from now. I have been contemplating this a lot, and decided that I only want to have ONE wedding. So now we are trying to pull off a wedding on March 8th, 2013. Here is the problem…My fiances younger brother is currently away for basic traing for the Air Force and he called today saying he really wants to be here for our wedding. I am unsure about what to do!!! If we dont have the wedding now, we will have to have a civil ceremony soon because of our immigration issues, which means WE WONT HAVE A “REAL” wedding…which is my dream! I obviously feel bad trying to move forward with the planning, but I dont think that we should delay our lives because of my FBIL. My in-laws are really against us having the wedding without him, but we really need to get the immigration stuff taken care of so that we can move on with our lives. PLUS, if we dont have the wedding, he wouldnt be at our civil cermony anyway! We havent booked the venue yet, and I am going insane trying to resolve this.
What would you do?
ANY HELP would be awesome!
Thank you!!! 🙂
Post # 3
@AnnaBride28: how does your FI feel about his brother not being at your wedding?
I understand what you mean about having one real wedding, but I think in certain circumstances it’s ok to have a legal wedding and then a celebration.
Personally, I would probably have the civil ceremony without the brother but still have the big wedding with him present. I can’t imagine getting married without my close family present.
Post # 4
@ms_protea: He obviously would rather have him there, but he is with me on our lives being a priority. I feel like if we do the civil ceremony, our dream wedding will never happen, since there really would be no need 🙁
Post # 5
@AnnaBride28: I totally understand your feelings, but I think if you really wanted a big, fancy wedding with all the trimmings you could make it work if you really wanted to. I just attended a wedding this past weekend where the couple had a legal wedding also for immigration purposes almost 2 years ago. They wanted the whole shebang and to be able to celebrate with everyone in the same room, so they made it happen…
Post # 6
I understand how you’re feeling – I know that if I had a civil ceremony, I wouldn’t have a “real” wedding at all, because there just wouldn’t be that sense of urgency, as well as I would feel almost like I’m after gifts or attention. “We’re already married, but come watch us dress up and give us gifts anyway!”
Honestly, this is for your fiance to decide more than anyone. I’m sure you can live with your FBIL not being at the wedding, but you don’t want to push him towards a different choice if he genuinely wants his brother there for the “wedding.”