Wedding without parents

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@salejolie:  I’m so sorry.  I lost my mother years ago, and because of that I had initially been reluctant to look at wedding gowns. Dress shopping is probably the biggest part of planning where you’ll feel your parents’ absence… it’s sad, and it sucks, but you have to focus on the people who love and support you here and now.  And know that your parents would be supportive of any decision you made, and that they would think you’re the most gorgeous bride that ever lived no matter what dress you choose.

I made the best of my friends, and I had a wonderful aunt who supported me and joined me in some dress shopping excursions. I too tried on a LOT of dresses (probably 10 different visits to various boutiques!), but I didn’t make any one person come with me to all of them.  One friend came to some, my aunt came to some others, and another friend joined me on a few others. So I split it up, so I didn’t wear out anyone’s patience too much. Haha. 🙂 Your sister will understand!!

Do you have any momento from them? Perhaps a childhood blanket, or a handkerchief or old shirt. Cut a heart of it, and have it sewn into your dress. Or use a piece of your mom’s jewelry as a bouquet charm. Something small, subtle, but that you’ll know it’s there with all the support and love they raised you with. Just knowing I would be including my mom in some way like that helped with my emotional stress.

You sound like you have a wonderful fiance, and I’m sure he would understand if you do need more time to come to terms with things. You want to be able to enjoy the wedding planning, and if waiting for your emotions and mindset to settle and adjust will mean that you’ll get more joy out of the planning, then you should wait. Even if it just means don’t start the planning process till the Spring, when you’re feeling a little better!  Just don’t rush yourself.

I wish you the best of luck, and please keep smiling! Know that you are surrounded by wonderful people who love you and support you, and that your parents would not want you to have any sadness through your wedding planning.


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