Post # 1
I wonder how is your forum experience?
My is mostly positive, but I did happen to have a negative experience with people judging me or starting a quarrel. I realize people give their opinions BUT sometimes it was uprightly snarky and unhelpful and the tone the response was written, was meant to hurt the OP.
Post # 3
@inspiration86: It is possible you are being too sensitive. It is really difficult to pick up on tone with an online forum…because there is no tone. When dealing with strangers online, it’s a good idea to have a thick skin because their opinions don’t really matter…so why get fussed over it? If anyone was having a negative experience on the bee, I would assume that they would leave.
ETA: anything you are hypersensitive about or don’t want to be “judged” on, you probably shouldn’t post online for the world to see and judge. That’s what people do – they read the post, they make a judgement based on their own frame of reference and past experience, and they comment. Some people are more focused on honesty than someone’s feeling, and some people are more focused on being positive than truthful.
It’s just the interwebz. Don’t stress.
Post # 4
@inspiration86: My experience is mostly positive but there was one thread that went sour and it seems to happen to everyone at least once. However I love this site because 99.9 percent of the time it is helpful and great!
@MrsPanda99: I would also assume that they would leave …
Post # 5
@MrsPanda99: But not everybody has athick skin, so why just other posters are not nice, and can be very mean? Sure there are moderators, but I think that some people just want to judge others, to feel warm and cozy about themselves, instead of having an open mind. I know some people would use the forum to de-sress and blaim others and put others to their place, when the post is controversial.
Post # 6
@inspiration86: You can’t expect to be coddled by everyone. Sensivite people will read into everything and think everything is hurtful. It’s the Internet — it’s not worth getting upset over.
That being said, there have been times here when I’ve wanted to reach through the computer…but that’s not about wedding stuff, usually. That’s like when someone is like, “Prove to me that sexism exists but don’t use peer-reviewed studies, only use stories.” Then I want to commit Interneticide.
Post # 7
@inspiration86: Well, consider this: do you like everyone you meet in person? Are they all nice to you? Do you get along with everyone all the time? The same diversity happens online. Not everyone is nice, not everyone is going to like you, and everyone sure as hell won’t agree with you. You will have a very hard time anywhere, not just online, if you can’t ignore the negative feedback that people who don’t matter provide. It really isn’t worth getting upset over.
People say all kinds of things to me. Guess how much I care? I have a husband who loves me, an amazing family, and a beautiful little puppy who never judges me. What more could I ask for? The approval or validation of online strangers? I will spend the rest of my life trying to get that! Just take the forums for what they are – a place for ladies to come together and discuss, which is nowhere near as important as your real life.
Post # 8
@inspiration86: I posted “mostly positive.” Yes, there have been times when someone’s comment ruffles my feathers but that doesn’t happen very often. I just try to do as PP said and take it with a grain of salt.
I do have to say that similar to real life, if OP’s make posts extreme to one side or the other, they will get polarizing (yes, sometimes negative) reactions. Don’t post if you aren’t going to like the answers.
I think when you closed that discussion earlier, it was evident why. Perhaps you should feel out the crowd a bit more before rushing to judge others as being rude, mean, snarky, etc.
ETA: I’m trying to be positive but I’m thinking this thread might die out too.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@peachacid: LOL I remember that. *head desk*
Post # 10
@MrsPanda99: +100000 on post 6!
I feel like I’ve worked with WAY meaner women than any of the Bees here. And I’ve been personally attacked a few times, and had my family attacked a few times on the forums, but to an outsider, I can see where the mean words are coming from!
Post # 11
OP, from what I’ve seen, you’ve come in seeking people to support you and be all sunshine and roses. This is the internet– everyone has an opinion, and they’re not always going to agree with you. If you don’t like someone’s opinion, ignore it, grow a thicker skin and move on.
Post # 12
@inspiration86: Yeah, if you’re having feeling bullied on Weddingbee then maybe forums like this just aren’t for you. Weddingbee has a reputation for being nice (some would say too nice) and the mods usually do a good job of catching threads that are heading in a bad direction. Being nice is really pushed here and I’d go so far as to say that sometimes the anti-snark policy can feel a little suffocating. People are generally respectful on the bee, but they’re also not afraid to call you on your bullshit – if you want people to blindly agree with you then this isn’t where you should be.
I think some of the more sensitive people on the Bee sometimes forget what a true mean comment is. Serously, if you think the rest of us bees are mean then I dare you to make an account on The Knot. They will destroy you.
Post # 13
@LilRhodyGem: OK, I just hope now that people would not start bringing PAST quarrrels to this thread.
[content moderated for name-calling]
Post # 14
I have been on the bee for 2 years now….soooo very much positive! i avoid drama though.
Post # 15
I came to the bee after having very negative experiences on another site. There are going to be rude people everywhere, and for some reason weddings bring out the worst in some people. My solution is to be careful about what I post and if someone or something starts to get on my nerves I just walk away for a little while. Ultimatly the good out weighs the negative, and there are a lot of very nice people here so I stay!
Post # 16
@inspiration86: “Sure there are moderators, but I think that some people just want to judge others, to feel warm and cozy about themselves, instead of having an open mind.”
OP, that is exactly how I feel about overly sensitive special snowflakes who take any difference of opinion as a huge insult to them and their wedding.