Post # 1
Ok, I have been lurking for a while and I really appreciate the ideas I have gathered for decorations, dresses and general wedding things. I mean no offense when I ask this, but I am genuinely confused.
I have noticed that threads tend to go one of two ways…either everyone agrees and gives unanimous praise (even when I doubt everyone loves or likes something) or one or two posters will disagree with a bee (in a non-conflicting way) and all of the sudden the bee who disagrees is “attacking” “confrontational” and somehow pestering/stirring up the hive. Seriously?
I have read a lot of threads and sometimes someone will seriously just say, “I disagree, I see it this way…..blah, blah, blah” and the other poster will go off on a tangent saying, “Back off, stop harrassing me, I have a right to my opinion…blah, blah.”
Now, I don’t think others should go around badgering, but since when can’t adults have a civil discussion and simply talk about differing opinions? I mean, we are all adults here right?
So, is this site just for praise and unanimous consensus or is this actually a “discussion” forum?
Post # 3
@curious2bee: I think that sometimes what people mean to say gets misinterpreted because this is the Internet and it’s hard to read emotions. And other times the OP is just wanting everyone to agree with a decision she has already made and gets upset when not everyone sees it their way.
ETA: That being said, this site is a great community of people who most of the time helps in a civilized and constructive way with issues that other members are struggling with. It has been really helpful with me being a waiting bee, a young bride, and a bride on a budget.
Post # 4
@MissComicBook: 100% agree.
OP, I just got a not so nice response when I didn’t do anything to spark confrontation….I was actually trying to help end a small arguement. Unfortunately, some people are afraid of others disagreeing with them or just want to post their opinion and not engage in discussion.
Don’t be fearful to post though! You may not always like what others have to say to you, but most Bees are very nice, welcoming and have the best intentions in mind.
Post # 5
@bmo88: +1 Don’t be afraid to post! Even those that get “attacked” for not agreeing with the crowd have supporters.
Post # 6
You are both right, I have seen a lot of bees that give really insightful advice and others who can have productive discussions. It’s just mind-boggling sometimes when the most mundane comments will set someone off. But interpretation is hard to control on the internet.
Thanks for the responses! I think I will start participating more and lurking less 🙂
Post # 7
I think this is a discussion site. I’m not interested in being in a community of “yes” people. What’s the point? I would much rather people talk honestly to me. How am I going to make my wedding better of people feel like they can’t say “Well, X looks a bit weird there, how about Y?”
I think people are way too quick to say people are “confrontational” or “rude” when they’re merely offering an opinion that is different to the masses. And that annoys me, because I would love for this to be a place where people feel welcome to post regardless of whether their opinion is the same as the 50 posters before them or not.
Post # 8
Honestly, there are a lot of people who just agree for the sake of agreeing, and I find that less helpful than anything else. I do my best to voice my opinion, even when it’s dissenting, in a polite way. I don’t really care if people find my comment of “the dress isn’t my style” as offensive or attacking. If you post on an anonymous web forum, you need to be prepared for answers that don’t necessarily line up with what you want.
I also think tone doesn’t come across well in posts, so people read too much into things to find an argument when there isn’t one there.
Post # 9
Yeah I think it is a little bit of both. I think it really depends on the topic. If it is someones personal post about their dress, ring, style ect it tends to be more praise. If it is a more controversal topic (cheating, abortion, religion, ect) then you know there are going to be some heated responses. Some with good back and forth debates and some just with claws out with no good ending. I do see a trend a lot where the first few comments tend to always set the tone for the other people who comment. It’s interesting.
Over all I love this site and think it is made up with a ton of sweet, supportive, intelligent women. Have you ever read comments on other internet sites? I don’t participate in any other forums but read comments on news articles and there far too many truely heinous people in this world..
Post # 10
I’m so glad this site is the way it is because I honestly had such a terrible experience with other wedding sites/communities that I thought all brides were evil witches. Sometimes you just need a little support and I think you do get honest answers around here.
Post # 11
@mrs.stormylove: I agree about how mean posters are on other sites.
I started on another wedding site….it starts with a K and has four letters. And they were so cruel, condescending and sometimes outright mean on just about any topic. They even told me to come to the Bee if I wanted “rainbows and unicorns.”
While I am open to feedback and discussion, I did not like the generally mean vibe I got from the other site. I am actually very thankful they mentioned Weddingbee because I wouldn’t have found it otherwise!
Post # 12
Thanks for all the WB love, everyone! I’m going to go ahead and close this thread now. Have a great day!