Weddings and Death

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@yaena:  I am so sorry.  I know that it is difficult, but what would your grandmother want for you?  I would be willing to bet my last dollar she would want you to have the day of your dreams, and be happy.  I know that it is hard to put on a happy face in the midst of such turmoil.  Keep going forward with your wedding.  

I wish I had words to make you feel better.  But you are not wrong for wanting to detatch for a minute.  How is your mother feeling about all of this?  Are you close?  Maybe sit down with mom and have a meltdown.  Just to get things out, and make you feel better?

Many hugs.

Post # 4
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@yaena:  It’s hard for young people to understand, but I am quite sure that your grandmother would want you not only to carry on with your plans, but also to enjoy them. I’m no where near as old as your grandmother likely is, but already I know that I would not want my daughter or granddaughter to be deprived of the joy they were so rightfully entitled to.

Laugh, dance, tell stories about your Grandma. Honor her by sharing memories while she is still alive and after she passes. If she is local to you go in to the hospital and show her your dresses, let her stroke the fabric, smell your flowers and hold your hand.

It’s always hard to lose someone we love, but take comfort in the fact that this is the way it is destined to be. She is passing the torch to a younger generation to carry on in her honor.

Post # 5
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@yaena:  I am very sorry that you are going through this, particularly at this time.  What I can say is that I’ve kind of been through this twice.  


My DH’s mother died 2.5 weeks before our wedding.  


My mother died 30 days before my daughter’s wedding.


I would describe my family like you described yours.  Think “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.  –Well except we are not Greek 😉


My daughter did not get a bridal shower either.  


But what I really want to say, is that we both had wonderful weddings-despite some sadness, we also experienced great joy with those we had surrounding us with great love, celebrating love and life with those still living.  After all, that’s what life is about, isn’t it?  Allow the strength of your family and the love and closeness surround and support you.  You may have some tears, but you can’t beat the power of love of a big, close, supportive family.  It is right for you to allow yourself some happiness – regardless of what happens.  We all learn that life goes on.  And that is exactly what all of your family will want for you, including your grandma and your mom.  And if your grandma should pass before your wedding, realize that she is experiencing it from the other side with great joy.  I know that my mom and dad did for my daughter’s wedding. God Bless.  


Post # 6
1548 posts
Bumble bee

@yaena:  my great grandmother had the same illness and was the matriarch of our family as well so understand what your going through. You are not selfish for wanting your wedding to be a separate entity of happiness instead of a dismal hodge podge of emotions. I do agree that maybe you should detach yourself to sort out your feelings. It’s going to be okay, time heals all wounds. I’m sorry you have to go through this, use the Bee as much as u need to help sort out your feelings

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