Weddings and the F Word

posted 3 years ago in Technology
  • poll: Have/would you post wedding-related information on Facebook?
    Yes, of course! : (21 votes)
    10 %
    Yes, but very limited - let's say under 5 posts from the entire process : (105 votes)
    49 %
    No, never! : (54 votes)
    25 %
    Other (please share) : (4 votes)
    2 %
    ETA: Yes, but limited - let's say under 15 posts from the entire process : (29 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I think that when you put it on facebook, you are welcoming comments and questions in a public forum. If you are ok with that, go for it. However, many brides are hurt by things people say or end up in awkward situations.

    I am facebook friends with people that I don’t see or speak to on a regular basis. I still want to keep some contact with them, but I don’t want their opinion on my venue choice, advice on anything, comments about my engagement ring, or asking if they are getting an invite (when they are not). Therefore, I keep wedding stuff off facebook.

    Post # 4
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I post every now and again… Like my DIYwedding shoes, or that the fam is out venue checking.  But no details. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @calisunshine3404:  I feel like it’s appropriate to share, not OVERSHARE, wedding related topics, pictures, etc. on facebook. I have many family and friends that live out of state. Not to mention I see much worse posted on Facebook everyday.I tried to keep my posts minimal and relevant. No one gives a crap how many florists I had to visit to find the perfect one or how many fonts I looked at for invitiations.

    I do think people can go overboard but even then it’s not hard to politely ignore it and move on. I think it is a personal preference and I have many friends who have chosen to share nothing. I can also understand that and wanting to maintain that level of privacy.

    Post # 6
    Member
    730 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

    I wrote “never” – but I did share our engagement online by changing our ‘relationship status’ (from “Married” to “engaged” – FH & I have had our status as married as a lark since we added our relationship to facebook 7 years ago). I’ve also changed my profile photo to one of our engagement photos, but I don’t exactly consider that anything, and that was done maybe five months after we got them done?

    I also have a private group with my cousins, and I’ve posted some stuff on there, but that’s because they’re obviously invited, and I needed information about what alcohol to buy (self-catered bar!!).

    I have a friend who posted absolutely everything to do with her wedding on facebook forever, and I know several people who “defriended” her because of it. 

    I just don’t think it’s right to share any actual “wedding updates” on there – since there’s obviously going to be people on your facebook who aren’t invited. It’s like talking about this awesome party to your friends and then not inviting them. I don’t think that’s very nice.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I posted that I was engaged, no pics quick one line.  I figure I’ll post one pic of the wedding and some of the after party (if my friends don’t post pics).  Other than that nope.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @thenewmrsmax:  +1. The people who care about wedding stuff will ask directly. I keep all of it off of Facebook. Drama free for the win!

    Post # 9
    Member
    10490 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    FB can be private too.  I had a private group set up because it was an easy way to share things with bridesmaids who lived in different cities.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1666 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @calisunshine3404:  We only just got engaged, but we did change our statuses on facebook. And then, a few days later, we posted a cute photo and a status thanking everyone for their well wishes. I think that will most likely be the extent of our wedding related posts until we actually get married – well, actually, I did send emails to my parents and extended family to let them know (parents and grandparents already knew) we were engaged and attached was a photo of me with the ring. . . dad got really excited and posted it without asking first. I wasn’t planning to post any pictures like that, but he was so excited that I couldn’t be mad at him (it was pretty adorable).

    I just don’t see the point in sharing that stuff with all those people, most of whom won’t be invited to the wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @AB Bride:  I like the idea of a private group for people (like BMs) that you want to keep up to date. I am a BM in a wedding two weeks after mine. She made a page for all 7 of her BMs.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Choosing to NOT post on Facebook about it can also have unintended consequences.

    For example, someone I’m FB friends with (but barely know in real life) is getting married next year.  She hasn’t posted hardly anything wedding-related on FB, but I realized why last week.  She said something like “I’m breaking my vow of wedding-related-post silence because I just have to say how excited I am about x y and z”

    This made me go “oh come on now.  You’re intentionally NOT posting about it on FB, except for this one thing or the next one thing…just post about it without shoving it in our faces that you think you’re above that.”  It really irked me.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @calisunshine3404:  I plan to create a “list” of people who are invited to the wedding and limit visibility to only that list for any wedding related posts. Further, I HOPE I can manage to only post a few times- like maybe annoucing any website updates/hotel blocks/any info that didn’t go out with the invites. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I posted some about our wedding. We changed our facebook status to engaged, added engagement pictures, a picture of my ring, when and where the wedding was when it was official, and maybe a couple funny things here and there like how making my own programs ended up being really hard to do. I didn’t get a single negative comment. Everything was positive, and no one asked if they were invited or anything. I would say I was open on facebook about the wedding, but I didn’t share every single detail. If someone didn’t like it then they can hide my statuses. It doesn’t really affect me. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Here’s what we have done.

    1. changed our status to engaged. No pictures of the ring.

    2. We will probably post some of our engagement pictures.

    3. If someone takes pictures at any of our parties (showers, etc) we will share those.

    4. After we come back from the honeymoon, I’ll change my name.

    That’s it. Zero planning updates. None. Nada. I don’t want anyone asking me questions about it, and I don’t feel like anyone on facebook is interested in my planning. That’s what my close friends and family are for and I can tell them NOT on facebook. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1259 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I have posted a few things, but nothing crazy.

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