Post # 1
I absolutely love wedding bee, love looking at pictures, getting opinions, and posting mine. Sometimes when I read about other brides being so ahead, and having everything figured out I get stressed out. One thing I have learned, wedddings (atleast planning) are STRESSFUL!
I just got engaged this past christmas (2013), and we are shooting for a fall wedding and I already feel so behind. We want a very small wedding and honestly haven’t even completely figured out what we want to do, much less where we are having it and what color napkins I want. I Know getting married and having a wedding are supposed to be every girl’s dream, but I honesltly just feel stressed. Am I the only one?
Sometimes when I feel like this I just want to elope and be done with it, but I know I would regret not having that beautiful dress, or those pretty flowers. Is it just a phase every bride goes through?
Is it normal to feel this way? Am I really behind? Did anyone elope and regret it? Is pulling off a small wedding really that expensive and stressful?
Post # 3
Don’t be stressed! You do have time. Start from anything you care more about, after that details become easier.
You can still elope and have the beautiful dress and the flowers 🙂
Post # 4
@Merinda1994: It is honestly stressful. Your feelings are normal.
You may want to look online for one of those 12 month wedding planning checklists.
They are a huge help in keeping track of what needs to be done and when.
You can do this! And it will be worth it (allegedly!)
Post # 5
Mine was not, but I’m a pretty passive person in general. I was prepared for something to go wrong, something to be out of place. I was comfortable with that. I just wanted to get married to my love. Everything else was just frills. I was wrong though. My wedding was perfect. Beautiful, and flawless. For once in my life, everything was in sync.
Post # 6
@Araya: I wish I could relax like that! I am so uptight and a control freak! I am glad your day went perfect!
Post # 7
@Happy Hopeful Bee: That’s a great idea, never thought of that.
Post # 8
@Araya: wow! That is awesome.
Post # 9
I cheated and am having an obnoxiously long engagement lol. It was for multiple reasons, but I’m not going to lie, having the extra time has been nice, it’s been smooth sailing so far! I’ve found The Knot’s wedding planner super helpful, and it has things on there I never would have thought of, or would have started too late. My only hiccup has been hair and makeup for our e-pics; they booked me for the day before and I found out two days ahead of time. It got fixed in the end though! Some of the best advice I’ve received is that there are going to be some things out of your control and you should roll with it rather than let it ruin your day.
Post # 10
@Happy Hopeful Bee:
@Merinda1994: thank you, ladies. And Merinda? Yours will be perfect.:)
Post # 11
I haven’t been that stressed about my wedding either (it’s in May). I guess FI & I are on board with the fact that the wedding is for the greater good and not really about us – you know, grandma gets to see you in a fancy dress, you dance with your dad, you take photos that you’ll look at when you’re old and gray, blah blah. The marriage is what’s important and the wedding at the end of the day is a super fun party! If the worst problem we have in life is that we can’t book the band we want because they already committed to another event…then life is pretty good!
Sure we have had minor annoyances in the planning process which this place is great for talking through so I don’t have to bother the people I know in the real world with obsessing over shoes or music or food or whatever. But I am so fortunate to have family/friends who are happy/excited for us and a laid back group of bridesmaids so the levels of drama have been pretty low. It’s been a lot of fun to plan the wedding!
Oh and I thought I was behind the curve bc I wasn’t a “plan my wedding since I was a little girl” type of girl but right after I got engaged I think I spent a solid 48 hours on pinterest looking at wedding inspiration and got my ideas together in a hurry, haha.
Post # 12
It has been a little stressful for us – my lack of decisiveness, $$$$, the desire to accommodate and make things easy for everyone else and some bride guilt b/c we are having a semi-destination wedding. I think I had a major breakthrough tonight though. It’s so easy to lose yourself in the details and other’s well intentioned comments/demands. It’s also super easy to feel behind constantly b/c of the amount of Type A super brides you will come across on sites like WB.
You know what? Ain’t nobody got time for that! I have a full roster of clients and investors who depend on me and I must continue to excel in my career ’cause after all, thats what is helping to write thise checks!! Just remember – what needs to get done will get done and if not you didn’t need/want it/shouldn’t pay for it and ultimately as long as you are marrying the person you love at the end of it all, who gives two hot damns about napkin colors! Good Luck to you!
Post # 13
I cut out most of the traditional aspects, had a small wedding and found it relatively stress free. The most stress came from my MIL trying to convince me to wear microphones and use paper plates for the reception.
ETA: Oh, and the fact that the state of California decided to bulldoze my venue without warning. I had to use my backup venue, but it’s okay. It worked out much better anyway.
Post # 14
Weddings are stressful, yeah. My MOH did all of my flowers, except that on the morning of the wedding day, she didn’t have them done. (This, after weeks and weeks and weeks of me telling her I’d come and help to finish, and hearing, “No, I’ve got it handled, but thanks.”) She missed decorating, totally blew me off because she couldn’t fess up (but called a BM to freak out at) and THEN called the venue who wouldn’t let my dj/musician in for set-up midday to say she needed to get in at noon.
When the BM who got the text from my MOH told me what was happening as we were leaving for decorating, I just blew it off. When my venue manager asked me what I wanted her to do about my MOH needing to get in, I told her it was up to her-I was out of that conversation. And seriously? At that point, I didn’t care if the flowers were there or not. My bridal party was difficult all the way up to my wedding day, and not all that helpful the day of my wedding either. Who helped me get ready? My friend who always does my hair. My cousin who flew in from Texas. My mom who is my hero. My husband who helped like crazy in our planning.
I have big issues with my 3 *best* friends. I’ve tried to remain friends, but it is strained, at best… The whole thing gets to be too much. My wedding was far from what I dreamed it would be, but it was amazing because as I have said before, I won the best prize of the day. YAY ME!!
Yeah. Weddings are stressful. Try to keep it all in perspective because at the end of the day, the party will be over but the man you wake up next to will be what really mattered about yesterday.
Post # 15
@Merinda1994: It’s only as stressful as you make it. I was getting stressed too – doing a fall wedding and got engaged in November. Once you book the big things you’ll relax a little. I would do one thing at a time:
First, think about a budget and a guest list. Make a list of the must-have people and the nice-to-have people to attend.
Next, pick the venue/date. If things are booked, try for a sunday or a daytime wedding.Research first and aim to do 4-5 visits within a week. Then make your choice, pay the deposit. If you want even less stress, do the ceremony, reception, and catering all by the same place.
Then, take a week each for booking your: caterer, photographer, dj, etc. Aim to have 3 or so well-researched options, meet with them, decide.
Once you have the big stuff set, you’ll feel a LOT better. You’ve got time on the little stuff. It won’t be that bad, really. I was stressed but I’m feeling a lot better now.
Post # 16
I’m having a 35 people 3K wedding
We’re doing a church ceremony followed by a luncheon. It’s all planned now but we could of done it much later.
$150 wedding prep (manditated by church)
$50 dress (got it at salvation Army
$2,200 lunch and desert for 35 at a restraunt that does everything (no real decorations but it’s beautiful and they provide all table settings)