Post # 1
So, earlier, I called my FMIL to let her know I had emailed her & FFIL about possible rehearsal dinner locations. They aren’t familiar with the area, so they asked me to do the research for them. I gladly did, as it was just way easier for me since I knew the general area we needed to be around & grew up here.
When I called to tell her I had found 2 places, she goes “Ugh, weddings are such a pain in the ass.”
… excuse me? Sorry our wedding is such a “pain in the ass” for you.. I did all the research & made all the phone calls for RD locations.. I found the best deal for hotels & took care of that.. FI’s sister is really picky with the type of dress she can wear, so I let the girls pick their own style as long as it was the same color & length.. I initially wanted them all to be the same fabric, but when FMIL told me FI’s sister found the “perfect” dress for her, and it wasn’t the material I wanted, I didn’t say anything, because I figured I’d pick & choose my battles & was not about to fight them on something like that, so didn’t make a big deal about it. FI’s dad is wearing his formal military uniform, so no need to get measured & get a tux for him. Literally the only other thing they have to do besides show up, is FMIL has to find a dress.
We usually get along great, so this comment kind of threw me for a loop. Thought it was really rude of her to say that… to basically be spoon-fed all the necessary info for the ONE thing that needs to be taken care of on their end, that they volunteered to do, and then feel the need to tell me that my wedding is a pain in the ass? Although she also told FI when he was concerned about being able to pay for a wedding before proposing, that “All you need to do is worry about the ring.. the rest is her parents’ problem”)… Ugh, so irritating sometimes!
Post # 3
Okay, let me start by saying it WAS rude for her to say that and I’m sorry she’s not enthusiastic about your wedding, but… weddings totally are a pain in the ass. Lol!
Post # 4
@deliciousappleblue: amen! Weddings are a pain in the ass, especially my own!
Post # 5
@deliciousappleblue: hahaha, no, I know.. it’s been stressful on my end, but I’m doing everything in my power to make it as stress-free for everyone else.. It was just annoying to do all that work for them & make all the phone calls, & then for HER to tell ME that all of this is a pain in the butt.. just a little annoying! haha
Post # 6
Lol, she does sound super irritating and the comment made to FI was a bit…. Rude? Dismissive? But I agree with PPs, weddings ARE a PITA! Especially coordinating people and dates and blahhh… I think you’ve done a very nice thing picking your fights. 🙂
Post # 7
@kt23525: Yes, it is a bit weird that anyone who doesn’t have all of this planning crap on their plate would be so inconvenienced that they just had to say something, but maybe she’s just got a very low threshold for responsibility? I really don’t know. Sorry. :S
Post # 8
ooooh, I think I would’ve said a few things that would’ve gotten me into hot water! from them AND my FI!
sure, they’re a pain, but… ummm… kinda rube, nasty and cruel to say that to someone who’s done all the legwork AND after you’ve volunteered to do something. Not to mention the fact you’re the bride!!!!
so sorry you’ve gotta deal with such comments and attitude from someone who’s going to be a part of your family. Especially it being your FI’s parents! 🙁
Post # 9
Yeah, I definitely got to the point that when people asked me about the wedding I was just like… “this is the most inconvenient thing I’ve done in my life”. Some days are just like that 🙂
She shoudln’t have said it, but she probably thought she was commisserating, not being rude.
Post # 10
Actually weddings are a royal pain in the ass but she shouldn’t have said it. It probably just slipped out. Open mouth and insert foot sort of thing.
Post # 11
I agree it sounds more like a commiserating comment rather than being rude…? That’s how I read it. Brush it off, move on. Stressing out over it will accomplish precisely zilch.
Post # 12
It’s been said. Do remember though that she didn’t say YOUR wedding was a pain in the ass, just weddings (in general) are a pain in the ass.