Post # 1
Why is that????
Currently dealing with competitiveness from certain people who are newly engaged?! Ummmm when did this become a race and who ‘wins’, what is the prize here? I can’t stand it, girls who are getting married months after me are making me feel like I’m behind in my planning…. and I’m not! I pored and deliberated over my decisions and made sure that I was doing what made me happy and what was cost effective. I’m not having a wedding where every single decision was made within one month of being engaged and I’m happy about that but I don’t need people constantly trying to see where I am in my planning and making sure we are on the same page.
Oh and a bridesmaid that is talking behind my back and being mean in general. She is part of my family and has even pissed off FI, I dont have time for this stuff. I go out of my way for my whole bridal party and am very laid back about just about everything. I’ve been told its a jealousy issue with her and there is a lot of history with this in the past but I’m so over it. I want to enjoy our wedding, FI and I have worked so hard to make it an amazing night for all of our guests and this is how we get treated. Ughhhh
Post # 3
Sorry you are dealing with this. It can be very true though. After I got engaged, I quickly had two more female cousins who also got engaged. The competition ensued. Like you, I was the laid back planner, but it didn’t prevent my aunt contacting my mother constantly about details. She went so far as to make sure we didn’t order the same dress, since I had purchased a dress from the designer her daughter was looking at (yes, she made a point to see if they keep everyone’s name on record of dresses purchased.).
Ultimately, as others will say, the wedding matters most to the person involved. You care about your wedding most. Don’t let others bog you down with their competitive talk or snide comments. Make it the day you want to have and make the process of planning as stress-free as possible. The last thing you need is to let someone else’s stress get in the way of your good time. Good luck!
Post # 4
Thanks Snuggles it helps to know that other people have gone/are going through the same thing. I’m the first girl to be engaged and soon to be married amongst lots of cousins, and lots of female cousins are in long-term relationships. I just wish they would be happy for us, it’s been a long/winding road for us to get here and we are so happy with our relationship. I wish the people closest to me felt the same way, instead of trying to bring me down.
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
@WeddingBells33: Oh hon! Don’t let the snap decision people make you feel like you are behind on things. If you have a hall, food and a dress picked out then there is no way you can be behind six month before your wedding.
I took my time and picked things out the same way you did. Most stuff I would pick out then not order until the last minute to make sure there wasn’t something else I would want more. Worked out for the best EVERY time that way. I don’t regret a single things I had for the wedding.
Post # 6
I hear ya!
One of my bridesmaids is getting married a year and a half AFTER me and has pretty much planned the whole damn thing and every time I say something like, ‘God, we better try and decide what favours we’re having’, she’s like, ‘Oh, haven’t you sorted that yet?’. She makes me feel so panicked!
Post # 7
I often get asked ‘Have you done xyz yet?’ followed by a pushy ‘You really need to start doing it soon!’. I know people mean well, but it’s really annoying.
I met with the DOC at our venue last week, and she is the only person whose opinion regarding timelines matters to me. And she thinks I’m right on track!
Post # 8
Yes, I couldn’t agree more!! I got engaged in May, getting married in June. One of my best friends got engaged in August, getting married in December. Ever since she got engaged, all we do is talk about her wedding, have bridesmaid meetings for HER wedding, and we barely talk about mine…even though mine is sooner!
But, I have decided to be the generous laid back bride. It doesn’t need to be all about me all the time, and she can play the role of the crazy bride! I take pride in the fact that the wedding process hasn’t changed me, I am laid back about planning, I don’t sweat the small stuff!
Post # 9
Everyone’s comments are making me feel so much better! Thank goodness I’m not alone.
I definitely feel secure in the decisions that I’ve made. This wedding is such a special thing for us and we want it to be perfect. I’m happy that I was able to take my time and enjoy the process and give the same attention to all of the details. I’m definitley not behind on planning at all, I just didn’t appreciate people making me feel like I was. I knew if I made these decisions too quickly I would regret them. One of the other brides will have everything done and then have months to wait for the wedding with nothing to do.
@2011nycbride I’m definitely going the same route, generous laid back bride! I’ve been like that from day 1 and everyone is grateful that it’s a low-stress situation 🙂