Post # 1
Now I’m a married lady, all I can think about is when we’re going to have our first baby! We’ve been together for approaching 8 years, and I just feel so ready!
Not that it’s going to happen yet. I’m still training, and won’t qualify until November 2014. Plus we’re in rented accommodation currently and don’t want to start a family until we have bought a property, which there is no point in doing until after I have qualified, as we have no idea if or where I’ll be working by then. And I really ought to establish myself in my career before taking any maternity leave. Depending on whether my current firm keep me on or I have to find a job elsewhere, it could end up being another 4 or 5 years until it’s a sensible time to start trying.
I’m feeling a little down about the whole thing at the moment. I know that if I hadn’t been worried about education or a career, we would definitely have started trying already. I’m still only 24, but because where I grew up everyone has kids really young (most will have their first in their teens; definitely before they’re 24!) so I already feel like I’m too old to be a mother (which I realise is utterly ridiculous!). I’ve discussed this with Mr CL and he’s in pretty much the exact place I am. I know we’re doing the right thing by our future children by ensuring we’re a little better established before having them, but my parents basically had nothing when I was born but I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood, so part of me wonders whether we’re focussing too much on the financial stability aspect. It’s so frustrating!
If we were in a position to buy a house now, at least I could busy myself with decorating it and that sort of thing. Right now I just feel a little lost, I suppose. Please tell me I’m not the only one!
Post # 3
Haha I’m not even married yet and I’m craving a baby! It doesn’t help that my SO will often text me things like ‘kindy kids are so cute, can we have one?’. Argh! Yes! But you have said over and over that you only want kids AFTER were married! Haha. I also have to finish studying before any of this can happen. 🙁
I think that as frustrating as it is, you are doing the right thing by waiting a little while. But I also think that you can never be 100% ready so as long as you aren’t stalling for the sake of stalling, you’re doing the right thing.
Post # 4
You are doing things in an order that is best for you and your future kids.
I know easier said than done, but dont wish your life away! Enjoy what you have now. Do stuff that will be harder to do later and enjoy that time you have together. The stronger your relationship is going into having kids the more fun and better time you will have of it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@clumsylawyer: I am about to turn 30 and ready to have kids in the next year or two. I am also an attorney and have been licensed for going on 6 years next month. It has taken me this long to get settled into a decent attorney position where I feel comfortable enough to have kids.
I will give you the advice my good friend who got married at 24 and had kids at 26 gave me. Enjoy your time alone together. As much as she loves her two kids, she wished that she had waited until she was 30 so she and her husband would have had more time alone together to go on trips, enjoy nights out, and generally just be a young married couple. The dynamics totally change when you have kids and 30 is nowhere near too old to have kids.
Post # 6
@Dogsbody92: @ThreeMeers: @beachbride1216: Thanks for all your kind words and support everybody. I know we’ll get there in the end
Post # 7
You’re still really young, just enjoy the time alone!!
I’m in the midwest but very few of my close friends have children (I’d say maybe 2 of them do) and I’m 29. You really should enjoy your youth and time alone with your husband because you’ll never get your 20s back. Go do things like travel, learn to cook new foods, buy a house, develop your career, etc.
I’d wait until I was 28 at least if I were you! But I had absolutely NO desire to have kids in my 20s.