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I think that it would be asking a lot of your FI's family to travel that much! If you do end up going with that date, I would be prepared for a lot of his family to not come to your wedding - I know that if I were in that situation I would pick only one wedding to go to.
If your heart is really set on the date, regardless of whether or not the family is able to make it, I'd make sure to find out how his cousin feels about it. You said her mom said it's okay, but have you actually found out how the bride and groom would feel??
It is not ideal but I think it is okay with your FI's cousin's blessing (talk to him directly-- not his mother). You have a good reason it isn't like you're just picking that date arbitrarily. BUT-- the travel thing is really tough. If it is important to your FI for that part of his family to be at his wedding, I'd hold off.
Lastly, if you decide that you want to do this and the cousin is okay with it, you just need to be firm with FI's parents and say that you spoke directly to the cousin and he IS okay with it so they need to chill. :)
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My fiance and I found the perfect venue for our wedding this summer and there was ONE date left all summer, which actually was a good date for us. Unfortunately, it is the weekend after his cousin's wedding, and it is a cousin he is very close to. His aunt says its not a problem at all and that the timing is good, since she will be able to keep the weight she lost for her son's wedding off for ours too, haha. She said her son would not care and is happy for us. My parents say it shouldn't be a problem, as summer is a busy wedding season and its a whole week in between. "They can't reserve the whole month of June" my mom said. She also said a lot of times in the summer people end up with back to back weekend wedding invitations anyway. My fiance's cousin and his future wife aren't actually taking their honeymoon until much later, so they will be around for our wedding. But my fiance's parents are really upset about the dates being so close, they think we are taking away from his cousin's day and that they had the date first and when we told them we talked to the aunt and she was ok with it my fiance's mother said "do you really think she would tell you the truth?" I've been agonizing over this, as the venue is not only gorgeous but also one of the only places in our price range that will hold the number of people we are inviting (BIG families, both of us, haha). I don't want hurt feelings, but I sort of feel like a week is long enough, its not the same weekend and we definitely aren't the spotlight stealing type at all, we are very low key. His cousin's wedding is a giant, expensive affair and ours will be simple and more casual. Another thing is that the side of the family that would be attending both weddings lives mostly in the Boston area. Our wedding is in CT and his cousin's wedding is in Philly. So its a lot of travel two weeks in a row for the family (both FI and I live in CT, as does most of my family). Are my fiance and I being totally rude and awful or is it ok to have our wedding the weekend after his cousin's?