Weddings too close together!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

UGH I would be so pissed too!  That is totally inconsiderate of them.  Do they already have things set in stone? If not, I would talk to them an ask them to change their date so you can attend their event.  Does their thing run into your honeymoon? 

Post # 4
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

“It’s not rational but I feel like our ceremony and celebration is getting lost in theirs and am disappointed that it’s not just for us any more.”

I understand you are frustrated, but you get one wedding celebration day. It IS irrational of you to think that you’d get a clear window of a week past your big day. I’m sorry you are stressed and upset, but I think you saying anything is going to be of detriment to your friendship and make you look extremely selfish. Be happy that your friends are married, too, and that your overseas friends get to be at both events.

Focus on the things you can control and move on. Enjoy your day.

 

Post # 5
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Maybe I am super laid back but my wedding is the first week or March, my friends is the next week (a lot of the same people going to both), then my cousins is the week after my friends(obviously all my family will be at both of those)…. We are all super excited to have our weddings so close. I chose my date first and was excited we would all work together and plan our weddings with the same timeline to help each other out. 

    Why not help each other out and make the best of it? I don’t know what to tell you about the honeymoon though :/

Post # 9
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

1. This celebration of theirs is not a wedding. They had that when they got legally married. This is a Pretty Princess Day. Thus;

2. You are completely within your rights to skip this PPD. Honeymoon trumps fake wedding every time. 

3. They were trying to make things simpler for your overseas guests, which I understand. Perhaps they did not take your plans into consideration, but they don’t really HAVE to. You only get one day, not a whole week/month/season/year.

 

Post # 11
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@miharu:  You’re welcome! I’m sure your real wedding will be WAY better than theirs. 

Post # 12
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I wouldn’t stress to much and if you were planing on leaving for your honeymoon before there wedding i would still leave before hand. after all they should understand!

Post # 13
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@miharu:  I am having the exact same problem. My FI’s best friend (whom we have always been compared to) just got engaged a few weeks ago and the bride has set her date for FOUR DAYS after mine! It made me so angry and it felt like they were intentionally trying to compete with us. The other bride has a bigger budget, grander venue, more extensive guest list, and is overall more well liked by mutual friends than I am. Everyone told me it was no big deal, that I was being a bridezilla and I needed to get over it but after several days of it eating away at me I finally said something to her.

No she isn’t changing her date, yes some people thought I was being ridiculous, and yes we’re still competing rather than making the best of it. But you know what a lot of people think she’s the one being ridiculous and have my side on this and I never would have has that support if I hadn’t of said anything. And you know what saying what I thought FELT GREAT. I do have a lot more confidence in my wedding because it’s what I want and I feel good about speaking my mind. Yeah there was a little awkwardness for a couple of days but that went away and I’m not even really friends with this girl. If you are supposed to be old friends with this other bride shouldn’t you be able to tell her how you feel?

Post # 15
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@miharu:  I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, especially since they’re wedding is after yours so there is no way they can upstage your day. They didn’t have a lot of choice in their wedding date. I agree they should have said a little sorry, but they haven’t been outrageously rude.

Have the honeymoon you want, skip their wedding, and let it go.

I have known friends to marry a week a apart. In some cases the first couple has interrupted their honeymoon for the second wedding, other times they haven’t. Either is ok.

Post # 16
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@miharu:  Any advice on how to let this go, please, bees? I’m getting desperate!

You get one day. Let it go. 

Say it with me. One day.

Skip the wedding. Easy enough.  

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